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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cancel plans because of the football?

281 replies

XmasConfusion · 05/12/2022 07:16

Dinner with two school mums next Saturday. Been planned for ages. Don't know them very well..

Me and my family are England fans and been watching and following pretty seriously.

AIBU to not go on Saturday as its England v France?

OP posts:
PinkHeadphones · 05/12/2022 08:09

The other mums might want to cancel too. I think it’s fine.
Im not “into” football but I am “into” supporting England in the World Cup, and I have watched the other England matches. It’s a nice thing to do with your family.

HappyOnion · 05/12/2022 08:10

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 05/12/2022 08:08

Yanbu. I'd message "hey, England are through to the next stage, and we are pretty football obsessed so I'm hoping we could rearrange Saturday? I'd be up for afternoon cocktails and food if anyone would prefer switching to earlier in the day? Or could do Friday eve? Totally get if this doesn't work for either of you, in which case have a lovely night and I'll be at the next one"

This is good. Honesty is the best policy.

vivaespanaole · 05/12/2022 08:11

My eldest childs birthday is next saturday and i am waiting for everyone to pull out of his birthday party.

He is going to be so disappointed

Bloody football!!

Snoken · 05/12/2022 08:11

I guess I'd sort of understand if I was your friend, but I'd still be annoyed at being cancelled in favour of a TV-show. I think you can have just as fun, or more fun, with your friends as you could being at home watching TV. You'll get the results anyway.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 05/12/2022 08:12

WimpoleHat · 05/12/2022 07:56

Me and my family are England fans

Sorry - this jumped out to me. Are you a football fan? By that, I mean a year round one. You have a team you support, you regularly go to matches and everyone who’s friendly with you would know this? If you are, then they will know this and will understand why you want to cancel plans for which they’ve presumably gone to a lot of trouble (a Saturday before Christmas will require booking, they’ll have had to sort out childcare etc). If you are just one of those people who likes watching England on the TV, then I wouldn’t expect another invitation from them.

Eh?

So you can't support a sport at Global level if you don't support it at local level?

Do you refuse to put on the Olympics because you don't follow each of the sports at a local level?

Original poster
XmasConfusion · 05/12/2022 08:13

I really don't take cancelling personally myself. Unless it's last minute or there is lots of organisation involved, I'm always pretty relaxed about people cancelling. I don't want people to turn up out of obligation and I like a surprise evening at home!

But I've learnt over the years other people do not feel like that!

And I had hoped the football might be a legitimate reason and not cause upset. But can see that's not the case necessarily

There are only 3 of us and one of the mums hasn't been out in the evening for about 2 years. I don't know them v well but I don't want to upset them. But people saying watch the game recorded or just look online..
The joy of sport isn't just the score...its actually watching it!

I'll mention it to them. But I suspect they're entirely unbotherd by football.

Damn!

OP posts:
OhForDuckSake · 05/12/2022 08:14

userxx · 05/12/2022 07:25

That's because you're clearly not into it.

Show quote history

Clearly, but there are lots of other things people are into that would not get the same pass.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 05/12/2022 08:14

vivaespanaole · 05/12/2022 08:11

My eldest childs birthday is next saturday and i am waiting for everyone to pull out of his birthday party.

He is going to be so disappointed

Bloody football!!

Is his party at 7pm?

Rosio · 05/12/2022 08:17

Rather than just dropping out I'd talk to them, they might also want to rearrange to watch football too

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 05/12/2022 08:17

OP I wouldn't worry about cancelling / rearranging. Things come up, plans change. I wouldn't be fussed about someone cancelling because watching the football is important to them

WifeMotherWorker · 05/12/2022 08:18

Not unreasonable.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 05/12/2022 08:18

Posted too soon. They can still go out together without you if they wish. Don't feel bad because you have an interest in the football, it won't be the same checking your phone.

BellePeppa · 05/12/2022 08:19

Can you all postpone it to the following Saturday (if there’s no England match that day). I’m not a football fan but do understand that this is a big event.

user26189065 · 05/12/2022 08:20

I would just cancel it or reschedule, you won't enjoy it

SammySawdust · 05/12/2022 08:21

England being in the quarter finals of the World Cup is a massive event whether you're into football or not. I should imagine there will be a wave of cancellations for next Saturday night.

For anyone not into football it might be a chance to grab a nice table somewhere nice!

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 05/12/2022 08:21

YellowAndGreenToBeSeen · 05/12/2022 07:20

I’d be very pissed if off. Cancelling because if Illness or crisis would be understandable. But football?! I’d be very unimpressed.

Why?

Do you not understand someone valuing an event that is important to them and happens at most once every 4 years over an informal meet up that could happen any time?

Is their nothing that you would prioritise

TeenDivided · 05/12/2022 08:22

I'd be pretty annoyed with you.
before arranging, you would have been better off looking at the football schedule, working out all the games England could play in, and then not booking over those games (since you're such fans).

GreenWheat · 05/12/2022 08:24

Snoken · 05/12/2022 08:11

I guess I'd sort of understand if I was your friend, but I'd still be annoyed at being cancelled in favour of a TV-show. I think you can have just as fun, or more fun, with your friends as you could being at home watching TV. You'll get the results anyway.

😂😂😂 You realise that the TV is just the conduit for transmitting a live sporting event, right? You make it sound like she is cancelling to watch Coronation Street.

PuttingDownRoots · 05/12/2022 08:24

Nt a football fan.

I keep an eye on fixture times as I accept plans may change. I fully accept that if I was out next Saturday everywhere would be football.

Rockingcloggs · 05/12/2022 08:25

I'd do the same!

Echobelly · 05/12/2022 08:25

I hate football and this match is going to kill my choir Christmas concert on Saturday which is our only moneyspinner of the year, but I think YANBU. Other mums might be glad to be off the hook anyway.

FettleOfKish · 05/12/2022 08:26

If you cancelled firm plans with me for a football match I wouldn't be inviting you anywhere again, sorry.

GreenWheat · 05/12/2022 08:28

FettleOfKish · 05/12/2022 08:26

If you cancelled firm plans with me for a football match I wouldn't be inviting you anywhere again, sorry.

You sound flexible! 😂

thelobsterquadrille · 05/12/2022 08:29

FettleOfKish · 05/12/2022 08:26

If you cancelled firm plans with me for a football match I wouldn't be inviting you anywhere again, sorry.

Blimey, are you always so rigid when it comes to your friendships?

Snoken · 05/12/2022 08:31

GreenWheat · 05/12/2022 08:24

😂😂😂 You realise that the TV is just the conduit for transmitting a live sporting event, right? You make it sound like she is cancelling to watch Coronation Street.

Show quote history

Yes I do. I'd feel the same if someone cancelled to watch Eurovision or the Strictly final too. It might be football, but it is still just something being shown on TV. For me real life is more important.