Friend sold gift

[WeIsh]

I should start by caveat this was a gift my father gave to my friend. My father makes absolutely terrible financial decisions all the time. My childhood friend was admiring the object when she visited my childhood home last year and without her asking he gave it to her.

It’s worth about £2k. My father is very cash poor (although reasonably asset rich). I received a text from my friend tonight saying she feels bad but she sold it.

No idea how much she sold it for. She does not need the money but my father does. She knows my parents are struggling financially. The message came completely out of the blue.

I guess he gave it to her but that was because he thought she genuinely liked it and he is very fond of her, having known her so long. (Not to mention he is very daft when it comes to finances.) I’m feeling a bit peeved about it to be honest and haven’t responded. I think it’s quite rude.

What would you do in this situation?

I'd say to her exactly what you've said on here. What an awful thing for her to do.

It's weird she told you. What was it?

Yes, why did she even tell you! Bizarre..,

It was hers to sell.

I understand why you're annoyed but it's a waste of an emotion. She sold something that belonged to her, no need for you to be upset.

Id say that’s kind of you to sell it for him. He really does need the money right now even if it was a treasured item.

It’s an antique object, I’ve no idea if she knows it’s worth to be fair. Maybe she thought I’d notice it missing when I visit her.

I'd reply back with something along the lines of "if your financial situation means that you needed to do that then I'm sure my father would understand. He'd have probably ended up doing the same had he not gifted it to you as they're really struggling recently."

But that's because I'd want to either open up the avenue of her discussing her troubles to ensure she was okay or I'd want to make her feel as awful as possible really if she didn't need the money and was profiting over a sentimental gift from a family friend.

Maybe she actually needed to money , ask her

Agree completely with @ExhaustedButHappy22

I personally would go either of 2 ways, tell her exactly what I thought of her doing that and then block her or tell her that I am upset and disappointed that she did that knowing how much it meant to your dad for her to have it whilst knowing how much she could get for it, instead of taking it she should have suggested he sold or just no thank you, it means a lot to you, you keep it

@Tabitha888 She doesn’t need the money. Her DP is from an extremely wealthy family.

@ExhaustedButHappy22 has written what you need to

What did she do, message randomly?

I would have to ask them if they didn't really want it, then why did they accept it and if they feel bad then perhaps they could give your father the money they received for it.

Either she needed the money or she really didn’t like it.

I do believe it’s nothing to do with you once you gift something, but i would say she isn’t the person you thought she was. I don’t think I’d forgive this.

@Wakk Yup. About 20 minutes ago.

'I hope you realise that x object is worth at least £2000, dad is really struggling right now and could have really used that money, instead he chose to give it to you, because it was precious to him and he is so fond of you, I'm shocked and saddened by this and you aren't the users in I thought you were'

I'm on the fence here. I can understand you are annoyed but what would you like her to do.

Either she has to keep it for ever, even though she never asked for it, maybe she has nowhere to put it or it looks out of place.

Or she has to say she doesn't want it and give it back to your Dad, which would look incredibly rude.

She shouldn't have told you though.

I'd be very upset and ask for her to get it back and return it.

*the person

I'd either say, 'my dad gave that to you because he thought your love of the object outweighed his need for money by selling it himself'. I'd rather you hadn't taken it if to you didn't love it enough to treasure it, as my dad is struggling financially and would have benefitted from the money it would raise.

Or, I'd see her as an ignorant and insensitive person and not the friend I thought she was.

But I'd probably have to do both.

No it wasn't. In these circumstances, if she didn't want it she should have given it back.

You probably need to have a conversation with your dad about giving valuable items away. He's at risk of being exploited.
Also have a firm word with your friend about accepting valuable gifts from your dad, roughly translated as "Don't f**king accept anything

This is brilliant. I'd reply with this and see what she says.

Yes it was.

The father gave it to her a year ago. It was hers for a year. She then made the decision to sell it.

I can understand it's upsetting, but she sold something that had been gifted to her and was therefore hers to sell.

Like it or not that's how gifts work.