To think Dh is an incompetent fuckwit?

[theUrbanDryad]

So here's the scene in the Urban household tonight:

ds asleep in bed. we're trying to get him to settle without nursing at the moment, so dh is going up to settle him, in theory.

ds starts to cry. dh sits on his arse and stares at me gormlessly. i say, "Are you going up?" he says, "But I can't settle him." i say, "Well he's got to learn to settle without milk at some point."

dh goes upstairs. cue 5 minutes of screaming.

i decide i can't take it any more and go up. dh is standing up cuddling ds and saying, "he's wet through." WELL FUCKING CHANGE HIM THEN YOU FUCKING TWAT!!

i take over. get ds into clean nappy sleepsuit etc. by this time he's screamed himself hoarse and so does actually need a drink. won't take cup of water. won't take bottle of water (i know from bitter experience) so i have to nurse him. ds goes back to sleep. i try to leave. he wakes up and cries. repeat 15 times till i get frustrated and "touched out" and shout for dh to bring medised. while dh is crashing about looking for medised, ds falls asleep. dh shouts up stairs "Where's the medised?" i hiss down "Just leave it." dh persists "No, where is it?" i hiss "Just leave it the fuck alone!" "I need to know where it is!" "SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP."

AAAARRRRRGH!!

so i've cooked the dinner, settled the baby, made the bread. settled the baby again. and again. and again.

why oh why oh why is my dh such an enormous knob? it's not just him is it? there are other men like him out there?

the bread is yummy, by the way. dh just brought me some freshly made bread and honey and a rum and coke.

he's still a twat and is not entirely forgiven though.

Oh, poor tot, if he is suffering with his teeth maybe now is not the best time to be weaning him off nursing to sleep - could you put it on hold until he's in less discomfort?

urban - I'm not judging you as everyone makes their own choices. Really mean that.

Wtoz - if i did that, then he'd complain i tidied everything up so he didn't know where anything was.

here's a little example for you:

a while ago i asked him to wash up. he said he would. 2 hours pass. i ask him if he's remembered to wash up. he tells me not to nag him. i go to bed. i get up in the morning, the washing up isn't done.

so if i remind him to do it, then i'm nagging him. if i don't remind him to do it he "forgets" and it doesn't get done.

what a stellar performance, i'm sure you'll all agree.

cups medised may have been discussed on MN but I used it well before MN and so have many others. I would use it again in moderation like anything you give a child.

My great gran used to soak a cloth in brandy and wrap string around it like a dummy for her 9 children. That worked for her.

The Community Paed actually TOLD me to give DS medised one night a week as she feared for my sanity (and his safety) and my DD's sleep/schoolwork.

As Wotz says, in moderation.

urban, no leave his stuff in a mess, just sort yours and the dcs.

my dh didn't have any clean clothes because I went on laundry strike. He didn't notice until he had no underwear left! I felt much better afterwards.

oh UD that sucks

Margo adn PW are right though.

And a very confusing message being given to your DS. If you want to get DH to sort this, you've just got to ignore his attempts at looking incompetent. He'll always look to fall back on you too as long as you are right there to take over.

Why dont you want to b/feed him to settle him?

wotz - not judging - everyone does their own thing.

Oh - and tell your DH that if he's "work" supercedes you and yours, then perhaps in his high paid important job, he can afford to get a dishwasher.........

Just tell your (d)H to sleep in the woods that you so cleverly moved near

Sorry to make light of it - he is an arse.

VVVQV - we're trying to do No Cry Sleep Solution (ha!) and i think that ds struggles to settle himself back to sleep because he always nurses to sleep.

dishwasher can save marriages - very true VVVQ
I think I need two.

Men can drive you mad.See my thread....I am currently pacing living room considering fetching two bricks from garden....

On the kids at bedtime note.My dh is not often here in eve as he works eve but EVERY time he has his day off he STILL runs around like a loony at bedtime with dd when i have told him 1,000,000 times its BLOODY QUITE TIME

Then when she wont go to bed he crashes on sofa and I have to settle her

aggghh

he's now saying that his job is harder because i can choose what we do in the day.

that should read QUIET time

see i am loosing it

and no your not being unreasonable they are all fuckwits

nite nite

no room in our titchy kitchen for a dishwasher. or a tumble dryer.

he's now on his laptop, no doubt typing a witty and cutting retort.

tell him its not a competition na dnot to be childish, its a life you have chosen together and....

his a knob!

I have a tent - would you like to borrow it for him!?

Is he saying such things because he knows it winds you up? Is he picking for a fight I mean... some men are idiots and seem to like doing that

to be totally totally fair Lewis, i think i may have picked this fight. but only cause i was SO FUCKED OFF!!

Don't back down. Don't do that, you have a right to be cross and fuckity fecked off as much as anyone.

Did you tell him he's a knob yet?

ohhh no - women NEVER pick fights and besides ... HE DESERVED IT!

Hope you get some peace and it all gets sorted out. I really do.

IT'S A BOY THING

SORRY YOU ARE HAVING A HARD TIME

GET SOME SLEEP

What is his job? Full-time acrobat with no toilet breaks?

When you are at work you get breaks - you have a lovely coffee and read the paper, you wander off to tesco to choose a sandwich at your leisure, you stare into space. What he needs is to swap a day with you and then see if he still has the same opinion.