To dump nanny by text

[Newmum0322]

Seems harsh but let me explain. She started with us 2 weeks ago on a fixed term contract for a few months. she brings her own daughter with her which I was fine with, didn’t see any problems. My DD is 9 months, her DD is 6 months so their needs are fairly similar in terms of eating/napping/playing.

The problem is she can’t seem to take any initiative, when she feeds DD she needs me to make it up, she then proceeds to feed her own DD so I’m left feeding whilst I should be working. DD cries frequently through the day, when she wakes up early from her nap the nanny rarely gets her back down because she seeing to her own child. I never see her holding, cuddling or focusing on DD in any meaningful way.

We’re not happy with her and so we are letting her go. We have to give her notice which I’m happy to do, but don’t want to wait until her next working day, as that will prolong the length of notice. We have alternative childcare lined up.

So… AIBU to text her letting her know we know longer need her, bearing in mind length of service (she’s effectively worked only a handful of days) and the fact I’d like her gone sooner rather than later?

I think you need to talk with her, face to face, when she comes to work. explain that you can;t justify paying fior a nanny if you end up doing the feeds and settling because she is attending to her own child. You are not paying her to mother her own child. She is not fulfilling the role of taking fuyll care of your child so that you can work. If she isn't doing the job you agreed, then you can terminate the agreement. I wouldn't pay any settlement either. You should be allowed to sack someone if they don't actually do the work they are employed to do.

This

It's a bit cold but I'd got for a text followed by an email to make it official. Then you can avoid any he said- she said type situations should anything come of it legally. You will never be able to provide solid evidence of a conversation.

What does the contract say in terms of termination? Why can't you talk to her?

Wtf!

You're paying her and yet she's not doing her job? Def let her go but do it how the contract specifies or you could be I trouble. I'd also write everything out and if you're calling her read out what you've written down. Don't get into an argument just say what you need to say and be done with it. She already knows she's not doing the job...

Please read the full thread, this was sorted days ago, @CatinaStorm , @Redebs , @PlntLady , @Dibbydoos .

Where exactly did OP ask for your opinion on this arrangement?

I know it’s sorted but I think you should have text. As a ex nanny I would have hated to be put on the spot if I-was being sacked ( which never happened as I was excellent).

Also I wouldn’t rule out someone with their own child. I was offered a job where I could bring DS ( I was also a first time mum but experienced nanny). It worked really well. Mine was newborn until 2 years and my charges were toddlers until school age ( yes two of them).

As I read it, that was precisely the context. You really need to let this go and accept that, just possibly, you could be mistaken.

Push come to shove, you wouldn’t have hesitated to have saved your son first if he and one of them struggling in water? Both about to run out on to traffic? Fire in the house? Both fallen from a tree? Etc.

even as simple as both fallen over and screaming in pain. You would go to your son first.

@Razu45 But there were two children plus mine. So in event of a disaster as you DP describe I would have to choose between them regardless even if I hadn’t bought my own.
Parents make these decisions when they have more than one?
And as an experienced nanny part of my job is minimising risk. I’m always thinking it’s a job I’m being paid for. So as a mum you might be more lax but as a nanny I’m on the ball the whole time.

Yes but that decision would be based on who closest / more likely to be able to save or help.

It wouldn’t matter if my child was further away / less likely to be saved… I would always prioritise my child. You wouldn’t?

@Razu45 As I said my nanny job is to minimise risk, watch for danger prevent it happening. That’s part of the job. I keep both my child and yours safe. I’m not there as a “mum”, mine becomes one of your family temporarily.

just ring her and say that the arrangement sadly isn’t working out for you and that you’ve decided to hire a nanny who doesn’t need to bring their own child. If she asks for an example just give her the one that you’ve had to feed DD a few times when this is what your are paying her as the nanny to do and it’s affecting your ability to work.

Wrong thread, reported, apologies

Call her and then send her an email to confirm the notice.

Your mistake was hiring a nanny with her own young baby!! Yours was never going to be a priority.

Sorry just seen that you have now called her. Mumsnet needs a way to mark threads as resolved ‘hint hint’!

@Sunshinebug and @LooLooLemon Please read the full thread. It was sorted days ago!

All you need to do is click on
OP's posts: See all

at the end of the OP, then you can read all of the OP's posts and no one elses, so then you see all of the OP's updates.

Absolutely.
unfortunately though - accidents do happen. And I would want my nanny to have no skin in the game other than my children

I’m new to this… was the ‘hint hint’ to me because there is a way of doing that, or to mumsnet?

If the former, can you tell me how I do it please? 🙈😂

YANBU
Out of courtesy I would phone her.
If you have such conviction about this (and rightly so that you do), you should be big enough to phone her.

Sorry but texting is a wimps way out.

Ah - long thread - well done.

Bullcrap. A text is because YOU feel awkward, not to let her ‘absorb’. Be a grownup, call her at the very least.

If anyone finds themselves in a similar situation, do both of you a favour and text or email!

no, OP. That is crass and rude and cowardly. If you fire someone it should preferably face to face, phone (as you did) is a poor 2nd. Text is pathetic.

You presumably had notes, so you could have gone down your list, and then whatever she said then just ended the contract. Which you did. She doesn't sound ready to (go back to) work. And for even considering doing this by text you're not gaining any moral high ground.
The new nanny sounds much more suitable. When you end the contract - don't do it by text.