Husband won’t make me coffee?! AIBU?

[Mysonisugly]

DH had a small operation on Wednesday to sort out his groin hernia which means that I have been doing everything (and I mean everything!) around the house. I have to look after my two DS (17 & 12), two dogs, I work part time but it just feels like there’s a never ending amount of shit to deal with. Literally from the time I wake up to the time I go to bed I’m having to look after, what feels like, three children as well as working and keeping the house running. The doctor told him to get up and walk around and not just sit there all day so he managed a small dog walk with DS1 yesterday (which he had to use crutches for 🙄). I’ve just sat down to sort out some admin, pay bills etc and he’s in the kitchen making himself a coffee so I shouted through that I’ll have one as he’s making and he said he couldn’t make it as he could only manage one mug. I asked him to just make it and I’ll get it and he said that he couldn’t lift the kettle long enough to make two and if I’m getting up to get it, I might as well make my own! On his operation leaflet it says ‘no heavy lifting for at least 2 weeks’. Well he’s taken that to meaning he doesn’t have to lift anything heavier than one fucking mug! I’m so tempted to just stop cooking his food and being his nursemaid if he’s going to be that petty about it. He is just being a big fucking baby, after all, I was doing things around the house after I’d given birth and had enough stitches to make a replica of the Bayeux tapestry!
AIBU to just want a coffee made for me when I’m doing everything around the house to support his recovery?

Your DH needs to be upright and moving. A lot. Otherwise he’s going to get adhesions from the surgery and then he’ll be in much more pain.
Also, doing everything for your sons is going to perpetuate the pattern of men expecting the women in their lives to mother them and do all the drudgery. You have done them a huge disservice by not teaching them how to be independent human beings and good partners to their future spouses.

Btw, the advice here is nothing heavier than a bag of rice. Two cups of coffee won’t kill him.

My 15 year old Ds would claim to be tired if it meant he had to do nothing at home.

This morning before school, Ds has fed g.pig , bought laudry basket down and tidied round floor in lounge.

Yesterday he sorted dry underware , tidied his bedroom and put dishes away.

There is no reason Dc can't help even in little ways.

You know you can just say ‘no’, right? It’s not a matter of loving him or not loving him. You’re a grown woman, you get to decide what you ingest.

@sophiajannie anybody who tells someone they are not "allowed" or "forbids" something in a relationship is NOT a good person - they are controlling and coercive.
Please do not let him away with this! You are a fully functioning adult and make your own decisions about what you do in life.

Yeah, I agree with you guys. Thanks for the kind replies

Would you like to talk about your situation?

You’re all being dramatic. Get your sons to pull their weight they hardly have an onerous schedule and your dh can definitely lift a kettle, he just wants to be babied. Why didn’t he do the admin btw? He can definitely do that!