Husband won’t make me coffee?! AIBU?

[Mysonisugly]

DH had a small operation on Wednesday to sort out his groin hernia which means that I have been doing everything (and I mean everything!) around the house. I have to look after my two DS (17 & 12), two dogs, I work part time but it just feels like there’s a never ending amount of shit to deal with. Literally from the time I wake up to the time I go to bed I’m having to look after, what feels like, three children as well as working and keeping the house running. The doctor told him to get up and walk around and not just sit there all day so he managed a small dog walk with DS1 yesterday (which he had to use crutches for 🙄). I’ve just sat down to sort out some admin, pay bills etc and he’s in the kitchen making himself a coffee so I shouted through that I’ll have one as he’s making and he said he couldn’t make it as he could only manage one mug. I asked him to just make it and I’ll get it and he said that he couldn’t lift the kettle long enough to make two and if I’m getting up to get it, I might as well make my own! On his operation leaflet it says ‘no heavy lifting for at least 2 weeks’. Well he’s taken that to meaning he doesn’t have to lift anything heavier than one fucking mug! I’m so tempted to just stop cooking his food and being his nursemaid if he’s going to be that petty about it. He is just being a big fucking baby, after all, I was doing things around the house after I’d given birth and had enough stitches to make a replica of the Bayeux tapestry!
AIBU to just want a coffee made for me when I’m doing everything around the house to support his recovery?

Oh stop, it doesn't come across like that at all

My DD is fiercly independant, gets herself everywhere, does her chores, is brilliant at school but takes a lot of looking after and care. Academically, socially and otherwise.

If you do not have a young teen DD, online today, in itself, is a nightmare.

But I am not derailing the thread. I am on my own, not relevant to the OP who has a supportive DH. I do not agree with her, but a 12 year old WILL need a lot of looking after.

'I must add that my DH isn’t normally a lazy person. He works full time, in fact, more hours than full time, and when he gets home he does help around the house a lot if there’s stuff that needs doing'

This actually translates to:- normally the OH does far MORE than the OP - and now she is having to do a stich more than she would like, she's throwing her dummy

Whatever happened to 'in sickness and in health'...

Oh dear God no. Has he always thought so little of you?

Maybe read the OPs posts before you decide he's a bastard.

He normally helps out (to the degree that she'll allow) and works full time and then some.

I think he's having post-op version of man flu. Once he's back on his feet, take a revenge 😂

Yep.
and seems to think that OH recuperation meant she had an assistant to boss about

Mike drop..

I have voted YABU purely because when you say you are running around looking after 3 children, the 17 year old is not really a child, not when it comes to helping around the house. And the 12 year can do jobs as well. Yes your husband is being lazy and milking it and you need to address that as it is setting both your sons a terrible example of what they should do or not do in a relationship.

"Mike drop"

Your post wasn't that good I'm afraid.

This.

OK, thanks

Tell him that if he can’t manage to make an extra cup of coffee, he will need to go back to the doctor as there’s obviously been a problem with the operation. See how quickly he ‘recovers’.

Wanker

Is this a pisstake

I totally agree with this, teens need A LOT of input if you are parenting properly.
The driving, the listening, the coaching, the helping with homework, ensuring they are eating well, washing properly (or at all) staying on top of their studies and guiding them socially. Helping them gain confidence with the household jobs so it is done properly (and they don't poison themselves!) washing and just the general day to day stuff. It is more than people think. If you are leaving your kids to it, then the problems really will start in my experience. Teenagers don't parent themselves!! If only!

Glad to be of service

Precisely this.

Totally

It is a mad old world, but a person cannot claim to love someone, and then want to work them to death so they can have an easier life.

Oh good lord OP you sound like hard work. As others have said your sons should be pitching in, your DH can use the break, and you need to get a grip.

the only one in this situation that really ‘needs looking after’ is the dog.

I had a femoral and inguinal hernia repair with open incision rather than keyhole surgery (apparently its a less common condition in women). I also had mesh inserted.
I could barely turn over in bed let alone boil a full kettle . I was off work for 6 weeks (and even now 8 years later I still get the occasional pain in the groin.

Fantastic stuff 🙂 I trust that you're teaching your daughter's to wait on the feckless, lazy men in their lives?

To be honest, women have been getting way ahead of themselves. I blame Mary Poppins: "Votes for women; Step in time" 🎵🎵

Let's wind the clock right back and submit to lives of domestic servitude. We'd all be so much happier than, innit?

Women! Know your limits 🤦

On an ongoing basis, sure. But for a few days while one of their parents are recovering from an operation? I'm sure they can cope. They don't need constant parenting like a toddler does where you can't leave them on their own and they can't fend for themselves.

you’re being a martyr for no reason and your username is horrible. you have an adult son and practically a teen but they’re too precious to contribute to household chores? Righto

You have enabled your sons to be almost as lazy as their father - inregards to making a simple coffee.
At 17yr old my DC did 2 days a week at college , 2x days placement and works atleast 20hrs a week in her job too, she also helps with chores - not many asked, but does do anything off own accord at home in general- Folds laundry, washes dishes, hoovers.
my teen(14) leaves for school at 7.45, home at 4.15.
He works 2x shifts a week as a pot wash 1x after school, 1x on weekend and does 2x sport activites too- His own choice.
He also does 1-2 chores almost daily .

The coffee thing- I understand, he shouldve made you one.

(I am petty. so i would be making tea every hour on the hour and none for him)

I'm with @Brefugee on this one.

You have so much extra work to do in the house that you just haven't got time to put enough water in the kettle for two cups, or to wait for it to brew or even to pour it out - and certainly not to add milk and sugar.

Same with cooking - no time to prepare all of the spuds, trim meat, mix gravy etc for more than one person.

It's a shame, but them's the breaks!