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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this party is too big?

223 replies

lurkinglaura124 · 19/09/2022 15:01

My DD asked for a party for her birthday and before agreeing I wanted a rough idea of how many people would be there and she said around 20! I was gobsmacked and told her absolutely not maximum 15 but ideally around 10 would be fine. She thinks IABU because her friends are having bigger parties however our house is smaller. AIBU to only allow 10-15 people to this party? She also wants it to finish far too late at 11pm but im thinking 9:30/45 is more reasonable.ostalgi

OP posts:
Chdjdn · 19/09/2022 15:03

How old is she?

CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson · 19/09/2022 15:04

How old is your DD? Can't really answer about time without knowing this.

Having said that it's your house so you can put whatever rules you like in place

liveforsummer · 19/09/2022 15:04

How old is she? Does it have to be in your house?

Sprogonthetyne · 19/09/2022 15:05

Depends on the age (sorry if I've missed it, but don't think it was in op). Teenagers you can just leave to it and give pizza money, probably ok. Younger kids you need to supervise and entertain, probably not.

HollaHolla · 19/09/2022 15:05

I think her age is key. If she’s 9, then of course you’re right. If she’s 18, then you probably need to compromise.

purplecorkheart · 19/09/2022 15:05

How old is she?

Floomobal · 19/09/2022 15:07

I’m going to assume she’s a teenager. So YABU.

Original poster
lurkinglaura124 · 19/09/2022 15:19

She is 17

OP posts:
daisyjgrey · 19/09/2022 15:21

lurkinglaura124 · 19/09/2022 15:19

She is 17

You're on a hiding to nowhere with that curfew 😂

SweetLittlePixie · 19/09/2022 15:22

At 17 a party ending at 9.30 isnt a party! You cant be serious..

NighghtmareNeighbour · 19/09/2022 15:23

The numbers attending fair enough, the timing no, you need to rethink that early.

BuffaloCauliflower · 19/09/2022 15:25

9.45pm for a 17 year olds party? Yeh no way.
I think in this case it’s either proper party with 20 ish people until midnight, or no party. 10 people until half 9 isn’t a party for a teenager

Mommabear20 · 19/09/2022 15:26

At 17, a curfew of 9.45 is going to make her a laughing stock! Like it or not, kids are cruel and it's not you they'll take it out on! YABU

Nyfluff · 19/09/2022 15:26

YABU, she's almost an adult 11pm is a good time for everyone to be gone for the neighbours sake.

Mummytotwonow · 19/09/2022 15:26

Please don’t embarrass her by ending the party any earlier than 11pm.

TheMightyThor · 19/09/2022 15:27

Lol at 9.30pm! At 17 I finished work in a city centre shop at 9pm then went out.

Bournetilly · 19/09/2022 15:28

15 people attending is fair enough but YABU about the time of the party

21secondstogo · 19/09/2022 15:28

What’s the point in going to a party that finishes at that time, whatever age you are?

GiantTortoise · 19/09/2022 15:28

Number of guests is your call (or at least a negotiation between the two of you!), but 9.30 is early for a 17yo. Could you hold it in a venue other than your house?

21secondstogo · 19/09/2022 15:28

Are they going on somewhere else?

Threelittlelambs · 19/09/2022 15:29

Wow!

Original poster
lurkinglaura124 · 19/09/2022 15:31

What time would you suggest? Also they are not going on somewhere elso afterwards as most guests will be 16

OP posts:
BattenburgDonkey · 19/09/2022 15:31

lurkinglaura124 · 19/09/2022 15:31

What time would you suggest? Also they are not going on somewhere elso afterwards as most guests will be 16

11pm sounds fair

AndSoFinally · 19/09/2022 15:33

Definitely no earlier than 11pm!

clary · 19/09/2022 15:33

Agree with others, 11pm is perfectly reasonable for a 17yo, in fact it's early.

20 ppl I would say was OK as well, certainly not gobsmacking. If that's too many for your house and garden is not a possibility, maybe negotiate on that, but a 17yo house party that has 20 guests abd ends at 11pm is more than reasonable.