AIBU to think this party is too big?

[lurkinglaura124]

My DD asked for a party for her birthday and before agreeing I wanted a rough idea of how many people would be there and she said around 20! I was gobsmacked and told her absolutely not maximum 15 but ideally around 10 would be fine. She thinks IABU because her friends are having bigger parties however our house is smaller. AIBU to only allow 10-15 people to this party? She also wants it to finish far too late at 11pm but im thinking 9:30/45 is more reasonable.ostalgi

It's a common theme on Mumsnet to not return to the thread you start when you aren't told what you wanted to hear 😂

9.30? Tad early

my 16th went on until 1pm in my house, my mum just sat in her bedroom watching tv until we had had enough. She will be embarrassed if you make the party end any earlier than 11, wouldn’t you rather they are all in your house rather than out in the park or elsewhere doing whatever

She’s 17 and you want her to finish that party at 9.45!???

midnight is fair in this situation. Wow you are a stick in the mud

Seriously…are you trying to make everyone laugh at her 🤦🏻‍♀️at 17 you can’t possibly insist the party finishes that early, technically she’s an adult, cut her some slack.
I had my daughters 18th birthday during lock down and I had a big gazebo on my decking and a hot tub in a small gazebo and an inflatable foam party on the grass area, we provided all the cocktails and a pizza cart and had about 30 girls here (my house is just a standard 4 bed semi) the girls were all her til around 1am and have never stopped talking about it, claiming it’s the best birthday party they’ve been to. Don’t make your daughter a laughing stock by sending them home when the night is young

You are definitely being unreasonable. At 17 I was allowed a house party which was allowed to finish at 11.45 to allow for everyone to be gone by 12. Still have great memories to this day and I’m in my fifties 😁

U need to bend the rules for one night , so she doesn’t feel like she can’t have a party as her peers probs have later times etc ..might not want to come across as “uncool”

Your poor daughter. Yabvvvu.

Sorry OP (parent to two older teens), 11.30 - 12 midnight would be more reasonable.

So what did you decide @lurkinglaura124 ?

Oh my goodness OP, at 17 I was going to house parties that lasted all night and making my own way home the next day (...very hungover).
I take the point that she's older in her year and lots of guests will be 16. I think an 11.30 end is more than reasonable.

I wouldn’t do it because I’m too precious about my house, but if you are going to allow 10 then you might as well make it 15 or so. Till midnight preferably otherwise she’ll be embarrassed.

My 17 yo has people stay over for her parties. They go on until 4 - 6am. I sleep with ear plugs.

I wouldn’t do it because I’m too precious about my house

My daughters friend are nothing but respectful and even tidy! They have always cleaned up after themselves and even vacuumed! No issues.

Invite them all, be open and sociable. From my experience you will not get them all coming. Your DD will want to ask all of them if they are her friends and not upset anyone by not including them. However check if any parents want to hang around, that could be a problem. You will have to avoid having too many. if you have no room.

Midnight at the earliest and twenty is not too many, teenagers dont take up much room.

Head off to your bedroom when the first guests arrive and stay there unless she asks for help. The silicon ear plugs are really good.

However check if any parents want to hang around

When they are 17???? Surely not!!!

However check if any parents want to hang around, that could be a problem.

They are 17 not 7... (although even by 7 most parties are drop off)

However check if any parents want to hang around

I'm going to assume that maybe this poster lives in the middle of nowhere so it's a right pain to drive out to drop off a teen and then come back 3 hours later.

Otherwise, I've never met most of my teenager's parents, and the teens would mostly make their own way to parties.

However check if any parents want to hang around

😂 what?? My DD is only 15 and I didn't even see any of the parents when she had a party in the summer!

However check if any parents want to hang around

and then ask what is wrong with them 😂

However check if any parents want to hang around
This thread gets more and more batshit!

I wonder if the poor girl got her party 🤔

Probably not @Macaroni1924 as @lurkinglaura124 hasn't responded for 10 days now, got a huge YABU score with many many posters telling her she was overreacting - I'm assuming she's ignoring the advice as it didn't go the way she wanted it to. Really hope I am wrong for the daughter's sake, but it would be nice to know either way