AIBU to think this party is too big?

[lurkinglaura124]

My DD asked for a party for her birthday and before agreeing I wanted a rough idea of how many people would be there and she said around 20! I was gobsmacked and told her absolutely not maximum 15 but ideally around 10 would be fine. She thinks IABU because her friends are having bigger parties however our house is smaller. AIBU to only allow 10-15 people to this party? She also wants it to finish far too late at 11pm but im thinking 9:30/45 is more reasonable.ostalgi

9.30? Is that a joke…

Midnight is more appropriate.

20 kids is fine also.

Most parties that my 17yr old has been to has had between 15-30 people depending on the size of the house. Kick out time is usually midnight.

I can't believe you would seriously suggest 9.30pm curfew for a 17yr olds party. That is very cruel.

Are you actually joking asking her to finish up at 9:30? She is 17 not 10. I think 20 people je acceptable. Can she not use the garden?

11 too late! Goodness …I’m 68 and at 16 I was often not in till midnight on high days and holidays.! I turned out fine…nurse married to doctor….we only had rules for our kids if there was a good solid reason for the rule….what’s your solid reason?

Where do you live? Outer Hebrides?

Your house your rules. If she wants to act like a disrespectful & ungrateful brat she can have the alternative… no party 😂
Don’t be a doormat for your kids!

At that age mine had 20 - 30 and finished around midnight. My house is small. It being crowded is kind of what makes it a party.

I wouldn’t have a bunch of 16 yr old in my house; having a party that’s for sure; all those hormones whizzing around, at least one of the little shits is bound to sneak alcohol in so they get pissed; then you’ve got bedrooms empty so they are a tempting option for them to test out, I’d take her & two friends to the pub for a grown up meal & call it quits.

I thought 11 pm too.

Your idea of a good party for a 17 year old is 10 people and they all go home at 9.30?! 🤣🤣🤣 what a riot.

I think 11 is already a pretty good compromise, and if you can't fit enough people in the house maybe look at other venues, mummy dearest?!

I also wouldn't be too surprised if there was a bottle or something being drunk and some cheeky snogging 🙊

This can’t be serious? Who has a party for their 17th and says it’s to finish by 9.30. 😂

At 17 parties don't even get started till 930 usually, I wouldn't have a curfew for my DCs for a party at home TBH, they wouldn't have a curfew for coming home so definitely better they are at home as they are safe.

I must say I thought you were going to say she was 10 😂

😂😂😂 you honestly thought before 10pm was reasonable for a 17 year old?!
Even 11pm is pretty lame for that age?
Are you further going to destroy her street cred by sticking around to 'keep an eye on things'?!

I think 930 is early for early teens even, MN is like an alternate universe at times. Although I see posts on here where 17 yos aren't allowed their phones after 9m and have to have lights out by 10 so it definitely isn't a planet anywhere near one I've visited that's for sure.

I think yabu
i think hired venue until midnight is acceptable
and 20 guests too
see if and places near by can offer this

Oh dear OP that’s pretty unanimous isn’t it.
i also agree with the midnight being more reasonable!

i was Still getting ready to GO to parties at 9:30 at 17, and going out into town about 11!

if you’re staying in the house (hopefully upstairs in your room) 20 til midnight is fine!

17 and you want the party finished at 9.30pm?! LOL oh boy you’re in for a treat. At 16 my friends and I were just getting ready to head out at that time!

I would compromise… 10/15 friends max and then a late finish.

it is her bday after all

Don’t ask a question you may not like the answer to… especially with children! Next time:
OP - you can have a maximum of 10 friends over please let me know who they are first.

I work with 17 year olds and no way would they go to or host a party finishing at 9:45!
I had a party when I was 15 that ended at 10:30-11pm.
She’ll be teased! 20 people not too bad if you put a gazebo in the garden and music on.

10 friends around isn't really a party is it? I actually think your DD's suggestion of 20 to end at 11 is pretty reasonable. As others have said, put up a gazebo if you think your house is too small. But if you aren't comfortable say no and do something alternative. Although seems harsh if that is what she has asked for for her birthday

i Would rather not have a party or arrange somewhere else without inviting you to be honest.
she is nearly 18 ffs

At 17 I was out partying until the small hours. Fair enough if you have small house and want 15 max but 10 is very low number for a party. 11pm to midnight is fine to finish. 9.30pm is laughably early. It's her birthday not every weekend! What's the reason for such an early finish?

I don't think the OP is coming back...