AIBU to think this party is too big?

[lurkinglaura124]

My DD asked for a party for her birthday and before agreeing I wanted a rough idea of how many people would be there and she said around 20! I was gobsmacked and told her absolutely not maximum 15 but ideally around 10 would be fine. She thinks IABU because her friends are having bigger parties however our house is smaller. AIBU to only allow 10-15 people to this party? She also wants it to finish far too late at 11pm but im thinking 9:30/45 is more reasonable.ostalgi

Your timings and numbers would be fine if your daughter was 12 or so, but at 17 11pm and 20 guests is very reasonable; it's not as if you have to wrap up a pass-the-parcel and supervise games and party bags.

11pm is early tbh. Midnight is about right.

😂😂😂😂 is this a bad joke?! How mean

OMG, I thought you were going to say she’s 10 or something.

Please do not be that parent ending a 17 year olds party at 9.30.

They'll want to drink. No venue is going to serve them alcohol! And believe me they don't care about the size of the venue. As long as there's a party they'll fit in somehow

Before I read your updates I thought you were going to say she was about eight. Ten people at a party for a 17 year old would be lame. 20 is reasonable and 11pm would be okay, although 11.30pm would be more normal at that age.

I said 11pm for DD who is only 15. It was a weeknight in the holidays though and had the excuse DH had work in the morning. 17 and weekend -12am. I think 20 people is restrained of her to be honest.

They probably won't turn up until 8:30 anyway!

OP might I suggest you broach the subject of alcohol...

If your faint heart will allow it

I don't think you should host it if this is how you feel!

At 16 I was out clubbing til 7 in the morning most weekends - I agree most won't turn up until 8ish - it needs to be midnight/ 1am at least.

My 11 year old came back from a party at 10pm on Friday night so 9.30 for a 17 year old is far far too early.

I think everyone out by midnight would be fine. And there isn't much difference in having 20 people in the house than 15. It's only an extra 5.

At 17, I was having pre drinks at 9/9.30 and going out. Where is she going after?

Just thank her by having the party at home rather than somewhere else.

Just tell her she can have it until 11 or 12 as long as she cleans up the day after. Show her she needs to take responsibility for the mess if she wants to have a party that long.

17, bloody hell, have 20 and let them all sleep over

I was thinking it was a 12 year olds party 🤣 don't embarass your daughter ending it at 9.30pm. Up to you how many guests if your house is the venue.

We live in a smaller house and for DDs 16th she had 15 guests and the party ended at midnight. She had 4 friends stay over and they all cleared up once the other guests left. Please rethink your end time.

Your daughter is 17 not 7 … she is going to run as far away from you as possible when she turns 18. Let her have her friends over, buy them some Prosecco, give them a midnight curfew and ask that she helps cleaning up in the morning. Uni is coming soon and you are not preparing her very well for the big wide world

Talk about trying to ruin her Street cred lol

If it’s a party you’re looking at 20-30+ with a finish of 12-1 surely? They will generally have pres somewhere else before.

At 17 I'd already left home! Partying meant study until the library closed at 10pm, out dancing until the wee hours, all night breakfast on the way home at dawn. And I was a quiet shy introverted wee lass. Might you be erring towards batshit overly restrictive here, OP?

17???? 11pm is more than ok.

At 17? I think 9.30 is not late enough.

The finish time would depend on how they are all going to get home somewhat. In 6th form though socials would run to midnight so I'd say 11pm is reasonable.

Midnight, turn music down at 1130, say no upstairs, pop into room once, let all be known u r in other room, be prepared for sick teenagers, an 20 people is really not a lot.
10 people at 945, poor girl will never live it down
we have let our dd have gatherings, didn’t always like it, But, you get to know the kids

Mate! At 17 I was abroad clubbing til the early hours 🤣 let the girl have what she wants

Just make sure you have a mop & bucket on hand the night of the party.

Lurkinglaura
Im assuming you never had a youth yourself. I feel so so sorry for young people who have parents like you.
Im always puzzled by this attitude that something bad happens late at night.
Please, for your sake and your daughters, come into the 21st century, otherwise you’ll loose her.