To wonder why "it's the man's job" to drive?

[FromDespairToHere]

DP and I went away last week. Bit of a road trip with a couple of stops for a few nights in each. About 5 hours drive to first place, 2 hours to the second place then 4 hours home.

We went in his car because it's bigger than mine but shared the driving so overall about 55/45 him/me. Back in work this week and talking to two different women who have done similar holidays over the last couple of weeks and they were aghast that I'd done so much driving. Both do drive but one did about an hour total and the other not at all. When I asked why both of them separately gave the above answer: "it's the man's job."

AIBU to not understand that? Why should my poor DP have to be the one who is alert all the time while I am chauffeured? Our way we each got the chance for a little snoozle while the other one drove.

We knew a woman who wouldn't turn right if she could possibly help it. She was screwed one journey when her usual route was blocked off.

In our house, because she hates driving and is bad at it whilst I enjoy it. It's less stressful for both of us when I drive. Also because my cars are nicer and she's not allowed to drive them (because hers look like they've survived a demolition derby after a couple of months of her driving).

People who 'order' an ambulance to get to A & E (when it's NOT a life or death situation, or they're just in labour,) really boil my piss tbh. When it's clear they have a car available, they should be billed for it - like £50 or something. I know it costs more, but as a token payment, to make them think twice before doing it again!

Sounds like your wife/partner needs to take a bunch of driving lessons, and re-take her driving test. She sounds like a liability on the roads, and a danger to everyone around her! Good grief! I can't believe you're being so casual and flippant about it, like 'lol wot is she like?!'

I don't drive so all partners I've been with I've been passenger princess lol its never caused any issues none of them have ever nagged me to pass my test in fact they enjoy it I think.

It's nonsense. DH and I share the driving equally.

That said, I've been surprised to discover how many of my female friends really don't like driving long distances or driving big cars. One couple we are friends with - she can drive but won't drive their big SUV (which he chose) as it's too big so he does all the driving.

I'm very independent though so will happily drive a massive car, transit van, whatever (and have done).

We’ve just done a longer trip than that and we shared it 50:50. We’ve also shared it 50:50 while we’re away. Why wouldn’t we?

we are in France and I was just thinking, I know that none of my female friends / family would drive abroad. That seems to be another blind spot for many women. No idea why.

Oh I've just remembered. We broke down a couple of weeks ago and had to be towed by the RAC. We were all sat in his van and he was chatting to DH about cars and I answered and he actually said "oh do you drive as well then?" I just said only about 90% of the time. Sexist nonsense.

I remember when I went to buy a van. The guy kept talking to my OH, he said 'don't tell me, it's her that's buying a van'. I made him put two new tyres on before I'd buy it and yes, I measured the tread in front of him.

My mother does this 'Did X get tired driving to France'. Well, he slept quite a bit on the passenger seat whilst I drove 90% of the way if that helps.

I had this when DH and I went in to hire an Iveco with a tail lift to move house, DH doesn't have C1 on his license but I do, not my virtue of age, but through doing the additional training/test. The guy hiring it to us was asking my DH if I would be able to manage driving it. I had to point out, to the patronising misogynistic twat, I'd been a paramedic driving vehicles this size on blue lights for a decade 😡

Snap!

I don't understand the "the car is too big for me to drive" nonsense. With power steering and parking sensors big cars are as easy as small cars to drive.

I think it is different when you are talking about vans or motor homes because your all round visibility and manoeuvrability is different.

Large vans and motorhomes are generally very square and short at the front, so if you know the size of your vehicle and that limitation, and know when to ask for help (instruct your passenger to get out in the rain to watch you back), large modern vehicles are suprisingly easy to drive and manourvre. Most situations where I see large vehicles in difficulty is where there has been a failure to lookup, think and plan ahead, a good driver of any size vehicle should be doing these things anyway.

Only if the car has power steering.

OH's car is big, no power steering and I have to run the seats as far forward as I can to reach the pedals.