To asked how you discovered OW

[Onicron]

I have my suspicions about DH at the minute, can anybody tell me how they discovered an affair and in hindsight you could see the signs?

I found out this week my ex cheated as the other woman emailed me telling me they had been together 4 years, when i had been in a relationship with him during 2 of those. I lived overseas so made it easy for him to live 2 lives. She thought i was the other woman when in fact she had been.

I second gut instinct. Dont wait to find proof like i did. You just know. I let him tell me i was wrong, was paranoid, that it was all in my head. He didnt want to spend time with me, made excuses, told me his life had changed. Said that a new account on my nexflix was his daughters friends when now i know it was his girlfriends daughter who he was living with while i was overseas. In hindsight i didnt need proof i had all i needed. I should have ended it long ago. Never ignore your gut its never let me down

Not with my DP now but an ex.

Earring a bloody hideous one at that by the side of my bed. Swore he didn't know where from 🥱. I actually laughed at just how hideous the earring was and he got offended so clearly defensive.

Hiding laptop/phone screen away from me.

Found emails on his gmail to her.

Off he went. Good riddance fucker.

He also followed me for a bit afterwards and waited up the road the bloody weirdo.

Also told me he'd jump out of his bedroom window to which I replied 'well that's up to you. It's rather silly as you might break your legs' then I blocked him.

Awful that some of these men are bringing OW into their wives beds!!! And tampons in the bathroom bin!!!!!!!

@minimadgirl eerily similar to my story only it was her tagging him in pictures of her with my kids,he'd taken them out for a few hours to give me a "break" & she tagged him,he didn't know if seen it though & proceeded to go on my FB & block her 🤦🏻‍♀️🙄

OMG. That's awful

She rang me!! She was pissed off he had chosen to spend the weekend with me, so she rang me.
looking back, I knew something was wrong months and months prior to this.
he left for work stupidly early one morning, I looked on find friends and he was outside an address I didn’t know just by his work.
he told me he’d been driving past that road to clear his head and I’d bought it! 😂
he told me it was all in my head, he’d try to be a better husband, he loved me, he was sorry things were tough, and he world try to spend more time with us.
all the while he was balls deep in the cleaner from work.

Work colleague of mine found out her dh had dc to another woman when a second ow emailed her and told her.
Second ow so had a dc of his.
Colleague stayed with him.

Just read these out to my DP, we've decided it's obvious we're both cheating as we carry our phones to the toilet / bath and never have sex anymore.🤣

I've never thought this was weird (I love my phone, but my DP has access to it all the time eg when I'm driving I'm like can you just go in my WhatsApps and read out this postcode and put it in my maps etc for me) so I suppose it's just new behaviours that would be a flag.

My turn to make early morning coffee, found we had no milk so hopped in ex's car to go to the village shop. His phone was on the front seat. It pinged with a text from other woman, saying she didn't want to see him anymore.

I drove to the village pond and seriously considered driving his precious truck into the duckweed.

I had an anonymous phone call one evening when he had gone to work. He'd been called in to cover a shift , which obviously now I know was bullshit.
The caller just said " I thought you should know he's been seeing OW name for the last 6 months"
We were due to get married in 6 weeks time. 😢
Up until then I had no idea at all.. guess I was just stupid and I loved him

My poor kids were told to keep silent about 'daddy's friend'. They still won't discuss it now, many years later. (He used to go for a haircut many miles away every four weeks. He took the DC and was there all day.)
He also used to sit on our driveway finishing a phone call....
He had a second phone which he told me was for work - I wasn't allowed to call it.

Bizarrely I found out via my XH leaving his phone charging in the kitchen and an inappropriate message flashed up.

The second one I found out about when I went on his computer at night when I couldn't sleep and he'd left his email account open. I saw an email from a name I didn't recognise. She'd messaged him using an old email chain which revealed the whole of their affair over 6 months.

Then the previous behaviours made sense - the late nights out. He travelled a lot for work but then I discovered what he was really doing. And when he said he was visiting his Mum who'd had a stroke he was actually with her.

I found an email that he'd written to his sister about how he and ow had feelings for one another and that he would be leaving me after Christmas.
He'd been refurbishing a house that we rented out, supposedly for the next tenant. But guess what ... he and ow moved in there together on boxing day.

Ring doorbell!

He changed his mobile phone bill to paperless and bought himself new designer boxer short 🤣

Tidying his coat away and it fell off the coat hanger and a viagra pill fell out. So I checked the pockets and there were receipts. One was for a very posh hotel in Nottingham from the weekend before, when he said he was staying at a male friend’s house. The other for an off license near the hotel, time about 5.30pm, for a couple of bottles of wine and some chocolate.

Confronted him with it and he denied it all. Said he went out with his mate and they were too pissed to get a taxi back to his, so they checked into a hotel. I rang the hotel to ask if he’d checked in with a man or a woman, and the receptionist wouldn’t tell me, but she did feel sorry for me, and while I can’t remember how, gave me information that confirmed my suspicion. He never admitted it. We stayed together for about 6 more years. He left me when our son was 2 and was in a relationship with another woman within about 2 months. He swore there was no overlap. But then all of his friends and his brother were disowned him when they found out that he had been using them as alibis all the times he told me he was going out with his mates and staying there after. Apparently he never did.

Oh fucking hell, that's so bad.

ExP asked me to upload a photo onto his Twitter account, passed me his phone, I opened Twitter and went to attach photo and the most recent item in his photo gallery was a video she had sent him of her boobs
They didn't have a patch on mine lol

He was a cocklodger and I paid for everything

id also given birth to his child 5 months earlier

he’d go through a tenners worth of credit in hours (would last me a week) and demand more credits-this is when you paid 12p a text

wouldnt let me near his phone at all-it was always in his hand

kept picking fights

he kept moaning that I was ‘tired’ all the time-4 kids and a baby would do that to anyone-he didn’t help with anything

kept mentioning her name-how fun she was etc

kept comparing her to me-clothes,food,hair,cigarettes,shoes-everything

would go out to see his mate-and wouldn’t come back for hours-would come home pissed every time-using my money

There was just an ‘air’ about him that I couldn’t place

turned out he’d been shagging my best mate all the time I was pregnant and beyond-she was a fucking good actress-I’ll give her that

hed given her the flannel that I’d got pregnant to trap him and he wasn’t getting any at home as I was ‘frigid’

both came snivelling back and both got told to fuck off

She thought i was the other woman when in fact she had been

How do you determine who was the OW?

She was with him for 4 yrs, you were with him for 2, yet she is the other woman not you!! 🤔🤔🤔

He was her ex at time of the telephone call so the overlap could have been 3 years ago and a year into the posters relationship or similar overlap.

So she was presumably shagging him in your bed during her period? 🤔

The cleaner? He may get turned on by the smell of bleach