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AIBU?

To have a party this weekend even if the Queen dies

224 replies

HmAndAh · 08/09/2022 15:32

We have been planning the garden party for two months, 30+ people invited for this Saturday. Now with the news on TV about Queen's health we are unsure whether we should cancel it, and what to do if the sad news happens tomorrow or Saturday.
Would you find it appropriate to come to the big party in case of the Queen dies on the day?

YANBU - proceed with the event as planned.

AIBU - cancel the party, it will be inappropriate and awkward

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

1530 votes. Final results.

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You are being unreasonable
11%
You are NOT being unreasonable
89%
Whatup · 08/09/2022 21:04

This image holds all my sentiments on the subject.

To have a party this weekend even if the Queen dies
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oddlytired · 09/09/2022 06:54

I have the same concern! We are having a garden party for my daughters 21st. Do not want to offend or upset the neighbours

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nachoavocado · 09/09/2022 06:55

oddlytired · 09/09/2022 06:54

I have the same concern! We are having a garden party for my daughters 21st. Do not want to offend or upset the neighbours

Scale it down/have it inside

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the80sweregreat · 09/09/2022 07:00

Honestly, it's sad for her family and I was upset too , but life goes on and the Queen wouldn't expect 67 million people to stop everything.
She was 96, had a good life a unique life and I Hope died peacefully in a beautiful location, but you have to be realistic too,

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nachoavocado · 09/09/2022 07:00

OP - the answer seems to be it depends what circles you move it/the views of your neighbours

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vera99 · 09/09/2022 07:31

Today will be an opportunity to read the room. Meeting friend's in central London for lunch and drinks.

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Igglepigglesblankie · 09/09/2022 07:34

I was supposed to attend a 50th Birthday meal last night and it got cancelled about 10 mins before by the venue….we were all dressed up and most of us had already travelled there. Felt really bad for my friend as she has had a terrible year and she was really looking forward to it. I suspect that lots of venues may feel they need to cancel things as they don’t want to look disrespectful.

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DysonSphere · 09/09/2022 07:46

vera99 · 09/09/2022 07:31

Today will be an opportunity to read the room. Meeting friend's in central London for lunch and drinks.

Central was lively as always when I went up yesterday evening. The atmosphere around the palace was a large mix of mawkish tourists taking selfies with no real sense of anything somber. A few people drinking too much and singing 'god save the Queen' in leery voices and a small proportion who genuinely seemed saddened and reflective, some of whom bought flowers. The journey up was like every other journey.

I think your friend will find little difference from London on a normal day. It definitely isn't anything on the mood or scale of Diana's passing.

But it may be different today.

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PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 09/09/2022 07:46

Igglepigglesblankie · 09/09/2022 07:34

I was supposed to attend a 50th Birthday meal last night and it got cancelled about 10 mins before by the venue….we were all dressed up and most of us had already travelled there. Felt really bad for my friend as she has had a terrible year and she was really looking forward to it. I suspect that lots of venues may feel they need to cancel things as they don’t want to look disrespectful.

What the actual fuck?

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Buzzinwithbez · 09/09/2022 08:04

A lot of this feels really performative. Worrying what the neighbours will think?

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nachoavocado · 09/09/2022 08:21

Igglepigglesblankie · 09/09/2022 07:34

I was supposed to attend a 50th Birthday meal last night and it got cancelled about 10 mins before by the venue….we were all dressed up and most of us had already travelled there. Felt really bad for my friend as she has had a terrible year and she was really looking forward to it. I suspect that lots of venues may feel they need to cancel things as they don’t want to look disrespectful.

Was it somewhere posh?

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Frazzled2207 · 09/09/2022 08:23

I’d do a toast to the queen but otherwise carry on

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Mumoblue · 09/09/2022 08:25

Worried about what your neighbours think? Do you live next to Buckingham Palace???

I didn’t agree to any enforced mourning. Party on.

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RubiesandRose · 09/09/2022 08:26

I'm getting married tomorrow, albeit a small affair with a party at a local venue in the evening,

I absolutely admired and respected the Queen and I'm saddened by her death but not once or at least until I saw this thread have I considered cancelling!

No guests have cancelled yet as a result and I'd be pretty unimpressed if they did tbh. She is a well respected and admired stranger at best to everyone invited.

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Igglepigglesblankie · 09/09/2022 09:00

@nachoavocado yes it was very posh - the birthday girl had bought a new outfit and had her hair and make-up done specially and lots of people had come from different parts of the uk….it was a sit down meal with a set menu in a private room. She is of course getting a refund but I know a lot of planning went into it and the date had been set since January of this year.

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DappledThings · 09/09/2022 09:04

Igglepigglesblankie · 09/09/2022 09:00

@nachoavocado yes it was very posh - the birthday girl had bought a new outfit and had her hair and make-up done specially and lots of people had come from different parts of the uk….it was a sit down meal with a set menu in a private room. She is of course getting a refund but I know a lot of planning went into it and the date had been set since January of this year.

That's so shit for your friend. I'd be gutted if that was me. And angry.

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garlicandsapphires · 09/09/2022 09:06

Definitely carry on as normal but have a toast to the Queen.

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ChaToilLeam · 09/09/2022 11:50

That’s absolutely shabby on the part of the venue. Life should not grind to a halt because of this.

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Lcb123 · 09/09/2022 14:23

I see no reason to cancel. Obv guests have the right not to attend but their choice!

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Carrotzen · 09/09/2022 16:49

@Igglepigglesblankie I'd be asking for more than just a refund with 10minutes to spare. That's not acceptable.

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Beezknees · 09/09/2022 17:09

I'm off on a hen do next weekend. It's sad about the queen, but she was 96 and life doesn't stop because a 96 year old has died.

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Yesthatismychildsigh · 09/09/2022 21:42

oddlytired · 09/09/2022 06:54

I have the same concern! We are having a garden party for my daughters 21st. Do not want to offend or upset the neighbours

It’s her 21st! If they’re offended then tough shit! They may feel like they do, doesn’t mean everyone has to. And I am normally a very considerate neighbour, but this is not a family or close friend death. Which actually did come up once, well nearly, all neighbours invited, garden party for family for son’s 21st (he had a party, too). We live in detached houses, older neighbour was taken to hospital night before. We’re ant the end of the street, party moved to 300m down the road. But that was because they were out immediate neighbours.

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Comefromaway · 10/09/2022 15:44

Igglepigglesblankie · 09/09/2022 07:34

I was supposed to attend a 50th Birthday meal last night and it got cancelled about 10 mins before by the venue….we were all dressed up and most of us had already travelled there. Felt really bad for my friend as she has had a terrible year and she was really looking forward to it. I suspect that lots of venues may feel they need to cancel things as they don’t want to look disrespectful.

That’s dreadful.

we held an event last night. The venue told us that everything was going ahead as normal although they had one comedian decide not to perform. They will, however cancel anything booked on the day of the funeral.

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Comefromaway · 10/09/2022 15:46

The musical Wicked, whose theatre is in Victoria very close to the Palace made a pre-show announcement then began as usual with the opening line - Good News, She’s Dead!

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