AIBU?
To have a party this weekend even if the Queen dies
HmAndAh · 08/09/2022 15:32
We have been planning the garden party for two months, 30+ people invited for this Saturday. Now with the news on TV about Queen's health we are unsure whether we should cancel it, and what to do if the sad news happens tomorrow or Saturday.
Would you find it appropriate to come to the big party in case of the Queen dies on the day?
YANBU - proceed with the event as planned.
AIBU - cancel the party, it will be inappropriate and awkward
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBUYou have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
WatermelonSugarSigh · 08/09/2022 17:02
GreenClock · 08/09/2022 17:01
I hope they don’t cancel the sport this weekend. But I’ve got a feeling that there will be some hysteria and people/companies/leagues will feel obliged to cancel stuff. It will impact the economy. I don’t know what good that would do.
They will do, I googled it. I'm supposed to be taking my kids to their first football match on Saturday, how ridiculous to cancel things like this.
PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 17:02
DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 16:58
I clearly didn't say it was representative of 'most' people.
I do think it more representative than is being made out.
Slightly off topic, I don't see how feeling respect for a monarch passing is 'batshit' etc. Although I do understand people who are republican with a consistent view, as some have expressed.
PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 16:54
I didn't say you were alone. I remember the Princess Diana aftermath too, though obviously the millions of people who weren't remotely bothered were much less visible than those who went to the palace etc.
There is however a substantial gulf between having met other people with your views and your of necessity limited experience being representative of most people. Don't put two and two together and make five.
DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 16:49
Nope not from just the people I know and I'm not half Irish.
But then I travelled to Kensington Palace when Diana died and laid flowers. I remember the feeling around that.
I'm definitely not alone out there, regardless of what your friends may think.
I would expect there to be very many upset people.
Out of respect I wouldn't be partying at a generic do. A wedding though, maybe as it's very specific and a good situation to raise a glass.
PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 16:44
Nope. I'm dual British and Irish though, and I suspect when you say most people you're extrapolating from the people you know. Most of my circle would think your stance was batshit. Takes all sorts though obv!
DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 16:35
Do you truly have no hidden remnants of nationalism? Most people do even if they are generally neutral. It's tends to lurk in the background and come to the fore at certain moments. I'm not talking about huge nationalistic 'we are the greatest' sort of thing
It's the nation's Sovereign.
I'm clearly really alone here!😕
PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 16:31
It probably is about respect for her and nationalism yeah, as I have neither and find your view incomprehensible. If I found out one of my neighbours was unhappy at me hosting a party because the queen had just died I would genuinely wonder if they were on drugs.
DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 16:06
I'm going to disagree and say it will be in bad taste.
I can't quite articulate how I feel properly in words, but i would find it disrespectful as a guest and would likely decline. And I wouldn't want to hear my neighbours celebrating in their garden at a national period of mourning.
Even if you don't like the Queen I think it ultimately is about respect. And maybe a teenie amount of nationalism.
You wrote 'Do you truly have no hidden remnants of nationalism? Most people do even if they are generally neutral.' There's no ambiguity there.
Also, it's not you feeling respect for a monarch passing that's batshit. It's the idea that other people are being disrespectful for having a party in the wake of her death that's deranged. The part where it goes beyond your own feelings and behaviours and causes you to have expectations that others shouldn't engage in normal human behaviour because of a view you happen to hold.
PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 17:03
Jellykat · 08/09/2022 17:02
I completely agree with DysonSphere! and being respectful for the passing of such a historical figure for us as a nation, is not 'batshit'
Looking at the other queen related threads atm, i'd say we're not alone..
You too should have another read of the post she misquoted, then.
DappledThings · 08/09/2022 17:03
Because if the rest of the neighbourhood are feeling somber about it it's a bit out of order to be laughing and talking loudly outside. Like when Diana died. Just be a bit respectful.
I can't imagine many people will be feeling sombre really. My neighbour's wife died recently. If I'd been planning a party that weekend I might have considered cancelling or at least keeping it indoors out of respect for him; a lovely man grieving and actually right there. If anyone is feeling sombre about one of the hundreds of mildly sad things in the world I can't see why I would take that into consideration and I don't think many people really see the Queen dying as anything other than a bit sad.
When Diana died it was weeks of utter tediousness. I still wouldn't have cancelled a party then and I doubt many of my friends would have expected to.
PurpleDaisies · 08/09/2022 17:04
Jellykat · 08/09/2022 17:02
I completely agree with DysonSphere! and being respectful for the passing of such a historical figure for us as a nation, is not 'batshit'
Looking at the other queen related threads atm, i'd say we're not alone..
It’s what “being respectful” looks like. I won’t be sharing my republican views on Facebook right now. I won’t be changing anything I’ve got planned either. If I had a party scheduled, I’d go ahead.
gatehouseoffleet · 08/09/2022 17:21
GreenClock · 08/09/2022 17:01
I hope they don’t cancel the sport this weekend. But I’ve got a feeling that there will be some hysteria and people/companies/leagues will feel obliged to cancel stuff. It will impact the economy. I don’t know what good that would do.
Oh MN reinstated this thread. Yes I agree. I was idling wondering if parkrun would be cancelled, for example.
DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 17:27
PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 17:02
You wrote 'Do you truly have no hidden remnants of nationalism? Most people do even if they are generally neutral.' There's no ambiguity there.
Also, it's not you feeling respect for a monarch passing that's batshit. It's the idea that other people are being disrespectful for having a party in the wake of her death that's deranged. The part where it goes beyond your own feelings and behaviours and causes you to have expectations that others shouldn't engage in normal human behaviour because of a view you happen to hold.
DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 16:58
I clearly didn't say it was representative of 'most' people.
I do think it more representative than is being made out.
Slightly off topic, I don't see how feeling respect for a monarch passing is 'batshit' etc. Although I do understand people who are republican with a consistent view, as some have expressed.
PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 16:54
I didn't say you were alone. I remember the Princess Diana aftermath too, though obviously the millions of people who weren't remotely bothered were much less visible than those who went to the palace etc.
There is however a substantial gulf between having met other people with your views and your of necessity limited experience being representative of most people. Don't put two and two together and make five.
DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 16:49
Nope not from just the people I know and I'm not half Irish.
But then I travelled to Kensington Palace when Diana died and laid flowers. I remember the feeling around that.
I'm definitely not alone out there, regardless of what your friends may think.
I would expect there to be very many upset people.
Out of respect I wouldn't be partying at a generic do. A wedding though, maybe as it's very specific and a good situation to raise a glass.
PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 16:44
Nope. I'm dual British and Irish though, and I suspect when you say most people you're extrapolating from the people you know. Most of my circle would think your stance was batshit. Takes all sorts though obv!
DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 16:35
Do you truly have no hidden remnants of nationalism? Most people do even if they are generally neutral. It's tends to lurk in the background and come to the fore at certain moments. I'm not talking about huge nationalistic 'we are the greatest' sort of thing
It's the nation's Sovereign.
I'm clearly really alone here!😕
PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 16:31
It probably is about respect for her and nationalism yeah, as I have neither and find your view incomprehensible. If I found out one of my neighbours was unhappy at me hosting a party because the queen had just died I would genuinely wonder if they were on drugs.
DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 16:06
I'm going to disagree and say it will be in bad taste.
I can't quite articulate how I feel properly in words, but i would find it disrespectful as a guest and would likely decline. And I wouldn't want to hear my neighbours celebrating in their garden at a national period of mourning.
Even if you don't like the Queen I think it ultimately is about respect. And maybe a teenie amount of nationalism.
Sorry but piss off with 'deranged'.
Since (and I've not thrown any derogatory words at anyone on the thread) you are incapable of being respectful on the thread I'm not surprised what I am saying flies totally over your head as a principle.
Let me state again for clarity:
I accept completely that people feel differently.
I completely understand avowed Republicans feeling differently. Being Republican is a consistent view.
I was, I thought, stating a different opinion and trying(!) to have a discussion teasing out why others feel differently and trying to also understand the etiology of my own feelings which I was struggling to articulate. My point on nationalism was in response to someone saying they have ZERO feelings of nationalism.
But as is predictable on MN, it's not possible to have a nice discussion where we disagree, but have respect for each other.
I shall desist before it becomes nasty.
HappyPeach · 08/09/2022 17:29
EscapeRoomToTheSun · 08/09/2022 15:34
I don't think anyone will care that much to be honest. Unless you move in very different circles to me we're not all sitting at home weeping in our mourning clothes are we.
You wait and see the size of reaction if the queen dies. It will be like nothing you've ever seen.
Againstmachine · 08/09/2022 17:29
I hope they don’t cancel the sport this weekend. But I’ve got a feeling that there will be some hysteria and people/companies/leagues will feel obliged to cancel stuff. It will impact the economy. I don’t know what good that would do.
And wouldn't be good for people who work those events relying on those wages.
OnlyEverAutumn · 08/09/2022 17:29
@DysonSphere I don’t think you’re deranged but I find nationalism fascinating. I’ve genuinely never understood why people are proud of where they’re born - it’s something that has nothing to do with us at all and is literally an accident of history 🤷♀️.
PurpleDaisies · 08/09/2022 17:34
HappyPeach · 08/09/2022 17:29
You wait and see the size of reaction if the queen dies. It will be like nothing you've ever seen.
EscapeRoomToTheSun · 08/09/2022 15:34
I don't think anyone will care that much to be honest. Unless you move in very different circles to me we're not all sitting at home weeping in our mourning clothes are we.
It’s going to be awful. Wish I was going on holiday somewhere without internet.
giveovernate · 08/09/2022 17:38
Againstmachine · 08/09/2022 17:29
I hope they don’t cancel the sport this weekend. But I’ve got a feeling that there will be some hysteria and people/companies/leagues will feel obliged to cancel stuff. It will impact the economy. I don’t know what good that would do.
And wouldn't be good for people who work those events relying on those wages.
Exactly
PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 17:38
DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 17:27
Sorry but piss off with 'deranged'.
Since (and I've not thrown any derogatory words at anyone on the thread) you are incapable of being respectful on the thread I'm not surprised what I am saying flies totally over your head as a principle.
Let me state again for clarity:
I accept completely that people feel differently.
I completely understand avowed Republicans feeling differently. Being Republican is a consistent view.
I was, I thought, stating a different opinion and trying(!) to have a discussion teasing out why others feel differently and trying to also understand the etiology of my own feelings which I was struggling to articulate. My point on nationalism was in response to someone saying they have ZERO feelings of nationalism.
But as is predictable on MN, it's not possible to have a nice discussion where we disagree, but have respect for each other.
I shall desist before it becomes nasty.
PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 17:02
You wrote 'Do you truly have no hidden remnants of nationalism? Most people do even if they are generally neutral.' There's no ambiguity there.
Also, it's not you feeling respect for a monarch passing that's batshit. It's the idea that other people are being disrespectful for having a party in the wake of her death that's deranged. The part where it goes beyond your own feelings and behaviours and causes you to have expectations that others shouldn't engage in normal human behaviour because of a view you happen to hold.
DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 16:58
I clearly didn't say it was representative of 'most' people.
I do think it more representative than is being made out.
Slightly off topic, I don't see how feeling respect for a monarch passing is 'batshit' etc. Although I do understand people who are republican with a consistent view, as some have expressed.
PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 16:54
I didn't say you were alone. I remember the Princess Diana aftermath too, though obviously the millions of people who weren't remotely bothered were much less visible than those who went to the palace etc.
There is however a substantial gulf between having met other people with your views and your of necessity limited experience being representative of most people. Don't put two and two together and make five.
DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 16:49
Nope not from just the people I know and I'm not half Irish.
But then I travelled to Kensington Palace when Diana died and laid flowers. I remember the feeling around that.
I'm definitely not alone out there, regardless of what your friends may think.
I would expect there to be very many upset people.
Out of respect I wouldn't be partying at a generic do. A wedding though, maybe as it's very specific and a good situation to raise a glass.
PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 16:44
Nope. I'm dual British and Irish though, and I suspect when you say most people you're extrapolating from the people you know. Most of my circle would think your stance was batshit. Takes all sorts though obv!
DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 16:35
Do you truly have no hidden remnants of nationalism? Most people do even if they are generally neutral. It's tends to lurk in the background and come to the fore at certain moments. I'm not talking about huge nationalistic 'we are the greatest' sort of thing
It's the nation's Sovereign.
I'm clearly really alone here!😕
PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 16:31
It probably is about respect for her and nationalism yeah, as I have neither and find your view incomprehensible. If I found out one of my neighbours was unhappy at me hosting a party because the queen had just died I would genuinely wonder if they were on drugs.
DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 16:06
I'm going to disagree and say it will be in bad taste.
I can't quite articulate how I feel properly in words, but i would find it disrespectful as a guest and would likely decline. And I wouldn't want to hear my neighbours celebrating in their garden at a national period of mourning.
Even if you don't like the Queen I think it ultimately is about respect. And maybe a teenie amount of nationalism.
I had a feeling you'd start tone policing once it was pointed out that you absolutely had said most people feel like you do. There was nowhere else for you to go after that direct quote.
So let's take this opportunity to point out: this is a thread asking for views about whether to cancel a garden party, on a forum whose selling point is a robust exchange of views. Which you clearly understand, given your comments about this being predictable on MN. You have said various things that many of us find ridiculous and that some would even consider offensive, and now appear to think you have some kind of moral high ground in flouncing because you didn't like what you read. That'll be a no.
the80sweregreat · 08/09/2022 17:38
I'm not being disrespectful here , but the Royals wouldn't cancel anything if someone they didn't knew died. It's not much different in this case.
Life goes on and she's had an incredible unique life , but she was 96 and this is probably not that unexpected.
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