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AIBU?

To have a party this weekend even if the Queen dies

224 replies

HmAndAh · 08/09/2022 15:32

We have been planning the garden party for two months, 30+ people invited for this Saturday. Now with the news on TV about Queen's health we are unsure whether we should cancel it, and what to do if the sad news happens tomorrow or Saturday.
Would you find it appropriate to come to the big party in case of the Queen dies on the day?

YANBU - proceed with the event as planned.

AIBU - cancel the party, it will be inappropriate and awkward

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

DappledThings · 08/09/2022 16:30

Bramshott · 08/09/2022 16:06

Party at home - carry on
Party in a venue - you may find that the venue cancels

Unless that venue is Buckingham Palace I'd be astounded if they cancelled. It wouldn't have even crossed my mind to cancel my own party.

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mountainsunsets · 08/09/2022 16:31

I mean, why wouldn't you go ahead?!

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PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 16:31

DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 16:06

I'm going to disagree and say it will be in bad taste.

I can't quite articulate how I feel properly in words, but i would find it disrespectful as a guest and would likely decline. And I wouldn't want to hear my neighbours celebrating in their garden at a national period of mourning.

Even if you don't like the Queen I think it ultimately is about respect. And maybe a teenie amount of nationalism.

It probably is about respect for her and nationalism yeah, as I have neither and find your view incomprehensible. If I found out one of my neighbours was unhappy at me hosting a party because the queen had just died I would genuinely wonder if they were on drugs.

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PatientlyWaiting21 · 08/09/2022 16:31

I don’t think the immediate royal family will be able to attend, but hopefully your other guests will make it.

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BloodyHellKen · 08/09/2022 16:31

You could always spin it as a celebration of the Queens life to anyone who get snotty about it 😏

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Blueberrywitch · 08/09/2022 16:32

baffledcoconut · 08/09/2022 15:48

Bloody hell I thought you meant you’d organise a party if she died. Thought that was some strong sentiment.

youre fine to crack on. Life goes on.

😂

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Bramshott · 08/09/2022 16:32

In terms of venues cancelling - yes some might. They may wish to open a book of condolence, or they may feel it doesn't look good to be open under those circumstances (council owned venues for example). I work on events and I've had to sign a few venue contracts now which stipulate that in the event of the death of the monarch the contract is null and void and the event will be cancelled.

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nachoavocado · 08/09/2022 16:32

Maybe move it indoors.

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pinok · 08/09/2022 16:33

. If I found out one of my neighbours was unhappy at me hosting a party because the queen had just died I would genuinely wonder if they were on drugs.

😂

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Electricstar · 08/09/2022 16:33

GooglyEyeballs · 08/09/2022 15:44

I wouldn't cancel I would just raise a glass to the queen.

this is a nice idea

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LadyVic · 08/09/2022 16:33

Im at a very large family wedding this weekend. Im sure it will go ahead.

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Carrotmum · 08/09/2022 16:33

I’m invited to a wedding on Saturday, I admire the queen but not the rest of the royals, I’ll still be going to the wedding.

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PurpleDaisies · 08/09/2022 16:34

nachoavocado · 08/09/2022 16:32

Maybe move it indoors.

What difference does that make?

I am genuinely baffled by some of the suggestions on this thread.

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ifonly4 · 08/09/2022 16:34

Not saying we shouldn't be respectful, but life goes on. One or two guests might be particularly upset and not feel they want to mix and you'd have to accept that. If you feel it's appropriate to mark, you could have a toast and then move on.

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DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 16:35

PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 16:31

It probably is about respect for her and nationalism yeah, as I have neither and find your view incomprehensible. If I found out one of my neighbours was unhappy at me hosting a party because the queen had just died I would genuinely wonder if they were on drugs.

Do you truly have no hidden remnants of nationalism? Most people do even if they are generally neutral. It's tends to lurk in the background and come to the fore at certain moments. I'm not talking about huge nationalistic 'we are the greatest' sort of thing

It's the nation's Sovereign.

I'm clearly really alone here!😕

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PlanetNormal · 08/09/2022 16:35

Unless your surname is ‘Windsor’, or the Queen is/was your friend, have the party. Vicarious grief/ mourning is ridiculous.

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nachoavocado · 08/09/2022 16:36

PurpleDaisies · 08/09/2022 16:34

What difference does that make?

I am genuinely baffled by some of the suggestions on this thread.

Because if the rest of the neighbourhood are feeling somber about it it's a bit out of order to be laughing and talking loudly outside. Like when Diana died. Just be a bit respectful.

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IceStationZebra · 08/09/2022 16:36

Trying to think how I’d fit a toast to the dead queen into a gathering of my mates for a garden bbq and… nope. Does not compute.

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Invisiblewoman75 · 08/09/2022 16:36

I know where you are coming from.
I sort of feel guilty to be crying about something totally unrelated that concerns my son as I'm worried people will think I'm being disrespectful.
Probably just my mental health talking.

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PurpleDaisies · 08/09/2022 16:37

nachoavocado · 08/09/2022 16:36

Because if the rest of the neighbourhood are feeling somber about it it's a bit out of order to be laughing and talking loudly outside. Like when Diana died. Just be a bit respectful.

It really isn’t out of order to continue with a planned party.

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Laiste · 08/09/2022 16:38

Meghan, is that you?

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Againstmachine · 08/09/2022 16:38

Because if the rest of the neighbourhood are feeling somber about it it's a bit out of order to be laughing and talking loudly outside. Like when Diana died. Just be a bit respectful.

You shouldn't have to curtail your plans because someone of you and your neighbours have never met wanting party's cancelled is bizzare.

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IHateWasps · 08/09/2022 16:39

Do you truly have no hidden remnants of nationalism? Most people do even if they are generally neutral. It's tends to lurk in the background and come to the fore at certain moments. I'm not talking about huge nationalistic 'we are the greatest' sort of thing

I see the continuation of the Monarchy as something to be embarrassed not about. A shame on this country, particularly while more people than ever are having to resort to food and fuel banks. It isn't something to be proud of imo. So party on I say.

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Foronenightonly22 · 08/09/2022 16:40

It’s not a Queen tribute night is it?

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ginnybag · 08/09/2022 16:43

Civic venues may well cancel events, yes, as may other places with the Queen's patronage or other ties. Churches, particularly COE, as well. Lots of places do have a 'death of the Monarch' clause in contracts.

I wouldn't worry about a private party at home, although I wouldn't attend one.

I'd be more concerned for events in ten or so days after she dies, as the day of the funeral is more likely to close venues and shut down events.

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