AIBU?
To have a party this weekend even if the Queen dies
HmAndAh · 08/09/2022 15:32
We have been planning the garden party for two months, 30+ people invited for this Saturday. Now with the news on TV about Queen's health we are unsure whether we should cancel it, and what to do if the sad news happens tomorrow or Saturday.
Would you find it appropriate to come to the big party in case of the Queen dies on the day?
YANBU - proceed with the event as planned.
AIBU - cancel the party, it will be inappropriate and awkward
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBUYou have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 16:44
DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 16:35
Do you truly have no hidden remnants of nationalism? Most people do even if they are generally neutral. It's tends to lurk in the background and come to the fore at certain moments. I'm not talking about huge nationalistic 'we are the greatest' sort of thing
It's the nation's Sovereign.
I'm clearly really alone here!😕
PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 16:31
It probably is about respect for her and nationalism yeah, as I have neither and find your view incomprehensible. If I found out one of my neighbours was unhappy at me hosting a party because the queen had just died I would genuinely wonder if they were on drugs.
DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 16:06
I'm going to disagree and say it will be in bad taste.
I can't quite articulate how I feel properly in words, but i would find it disrespectful as a guest and would likely decline. And I wouldn't want to hear my neighbours celebrating in their garden at a national period of mourning.
Even if you don't like the Queen I think it ultimately is about respect. And maybe a teenie amount of nationalism.
Nope. I'm dual British and Irish though, and I suspect when you say most people you're extrapolating from the people you know. Most of my circle would think your stance was batshit. Takes all sorts though obv!
PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 16:47
nachoavocado · 08/09/2022 16:36
Because if the rest of the neighbourhood are feeling somber about it it's a bit out of order to be laughing and talking loudly outside. Like when Diana died. Just be a bit respectful.
PurpleDaisies · 08/09/2022 16:34
What difference does that make?
I am genuinely baffled by some of the suggestions on this thread.
nachoavocado · 08/09/2022 16:32
Maybe move it indoors.
Why would we assume the rest of the neighbourhood are feeling sombre about the death of a 96 year old woman, though?
Againstmachine · 08/09/2022 16:48
I work on events and I've had to sign a few venue contracts now which stipulate that in the event of the death of the monarch the contract is null and void and the event will be cancelled.
If a venue did that and later close because of the cost of living crisis I wouldn't have much sympathy.
DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 16:49
PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 16:44
Nope. I'm dual British and Irish though, and I suspect when you say most people you're extrapolating from the people you know. Most of my circle would think your stance was batshit. Takes all sorts though obv!
DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 16:35
Do you truly have no hidden remnants of nationalism? Most people do even if they are generally neutral. It's tends to lurk in the background and come to the fore at certain moments. I'm not talking about huge nationalistic 'we are the greatest' sort of thing
It's the nation's Sovereign.
I'm clearly really alone here!😕
PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 16:31
It probably is about respect for her and nationalism yeah, as I have neither and find your view incomprehensible. If I found out one of my neighbours was unhappy at me hosting a party because the queen had just died I would genuinely wonder if they were on drugs.
DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 16:06
I'm going to disagree and say it will be in bad taste.
I can't quite articulate how I feel properly in words, but i would find it disrespectful as a guest and would likely decline. And I wouldn't want to hear my neighbours celebrating in their garden at a national period of mourning.
Even if you don't like the Queen I think it ultimately is about respect. And maybe a teenie amount of nationalism.
Nope not from just the people I know and I'm not half Irish.
But then I travelled to Kensington Palace when Diana died and laid flowers. I remember the feeling around that.
I'm definitely not alone out there, regardless of what your friends may think.
I would expect there to be very many upset people.
Out of respect I wouldn't be partying at a generic do. A wedding though, maybe as it's very specific and a good situation to raise a glass.
PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 16:54
DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 16:49
Nope not from just the people I know and I'm not half Irish.
But then I travelled to Kensington Palace when Diana died and laid flowers. I remember the feeling around that.
I'm definitely not alone out there, regardless of what your friends may think.
I would expect there to be very many upset people.
Out of respect I wouldn't be partying at a generic do. A wedding though, maybe as it's very specific and a good situation to raise a glass.
PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 16:44
Nope. I'm dual British and Irish though, and I suspect when you say most people you're extrapolating from the people you know. Most of my circle would think your stance was batshit. Takes all sorts though obv!
DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 16:35
Do you truly have no hidden remnants of nationalism? Most people do even if they are generally neutral. It's tends to lurk in the background and come to the fore at certain moments. I'm not talking about huge nationalistic 'we are the greatest' sort of thing
It's the nation's Sovereign.
I'm clearly really alone here!😕
PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 16:31
It probably is about respect for her and nationalism yeah, as I have neither and find your view incomprehensible. If I found out one of my neighbours was unhappy at me hosting a party because the queen had just died I would genuinely wonder if they were on drugs.
DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 16:06
I'm going to disagree and say it will be in bad taste.
I can't quite articulate how I feel properly in words, but i would find it disrespectful as a guest and would likely decline. And I wouldn't want to hear my neighbours celebrating in their garden at a national period of mourning.
Even if you don't like the Queen I think it ultimately is about respect. And maybe a teenie amount of nationalism.
I didn't say you were alone. I remember the Princess Diana aftermath too, though obviously the millions of people who weren't remotely bothered were much less visible than those who went to the palace etc.
There is however a substantial gulf between having met other people with your views and your of necessity limited experience being representative of most people. Don't put two and two together and make five.
WatermelonSugarSigh · 08/09/2022 16:56
I see the continuation of the Monarchy as something to be embarrassed not about. A shame on this country, particularly while more people than ever are having to resort to food and fuel banks. It isn't something to be proud of imo. So party on I say.
Couldn't agree with this more. I read that it will likely cost the economy billions because of the stock exchange closing when she dies. I think that is absolutely appalling when the country is struggling after the pandemic and the fuel crisis. Absolutely shameful and completely disrespectful to all the citizens of the UK.
IHateWasps · 08/09/2022 16:56
I would expect there to be very many upset people.
I find the 1,355+ deaths caused by the Pakistan floods, the constant deaths in Ukraine, the people stabbed to death in Canada, the residents who drowned in their own carpark in South Korea and the at least two women a week who are murdered by men, far more upsetting than the death of an incredibly over privileged 96 year old woman but I don't expect anyone to stop their celebrations over those or the other millions of horrific things that are happening in the world.
flowerdaisy4 · 08/09/2022 16:56
Guess you could compare it to the first day of school for the Cambridge's today.
They all trotted along, personl service from the private school they attended etc.
It wasn't like the first day of school for anyone else in this country. No resemblance whatsoever.
Not sure why the Queen's funeral should bother anyone.
Yes, she did her time as a leader.
But yes, also she had the resources of well nigh an entire planet to help her do that and millions of people in terms of paid staff.
So she held it together.
However I have more respect these days for a single mum on benefits, or indeed in work.
Way more difficult, much bigger test of leadership skills.
No PR dept. No private health care, no private school, no overdraft, and at times not food or heating.
Get real please.
DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 16:58
PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 16:54
I didn't say you were alone. I remember the Princess Diana aftermath too, though obviously the millions of people who weren't remotely bothered were much less visible than those who went to the palace etc.
There is however a substantial gulf between having met other people with your views and your of necessity limited experience being representative of most people. Don't put two and two together and make five.
DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 16:49
Nope not from just the people I know and I'm not half Irish.
But then I travelled to Kensington Palace when Diana died and laid flowers. I remember the feeling around that.
I'm definitely not alone out there, regardless of what your friends may think.
I would expect there to be very many upset people.
Out of respect I wouldn't be partying at a generic do. A wedding though, maybe as it's very specific and a good situation to raise a glass.
PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 16:44
Nope. I'm dual British and Irish though, and I suspect when you say most people you're extrapolating from the people you know. Most of my circle would think your stance was batshit. Takes all sorts though obv!
DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 16:35
Do you truly have no hidden remnants of nationalism? Most people do even if they are generally neutral. It's tends to lurk in the background and come to the fore at certain moments. I'm not talking about huge nationalistic 'we are the greatest' sort of thing
It's the nation's Sovereign.
I'm clearly really alone here!😕
PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 16:31
It probably is about respect for her and nationalism yeah, as I have neither and find your view incomprehensible. If I found out one of my neighbours was unhappy at me hosting a party because the queen had just died I would genuinely wonder if they were on drugs.
DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 16:06
I'm going to disagree and say it will be in bad taste.
I can't quite articulate how I feel properly in words, but i would find it disrespectful as a guest and would likely decline. And I wouldn't want to hear my neighbours celebrating in their garden at a national period of mourning.
Even if you don't like the Queen I think it ultimately is about respect. And maybe a teenie amount of nationalism.
I clearly didn't say it was representative of 'most' people.
I do think it more representative than is being made out.
Slightly off topic, I don't see how feeling respect for a monarch passing is 'batshit' etc. Although I do understand people who are republican with a consistent view, as some have expressed.
BogRollBOGOF · 08/09/2022 17:00
We've continued a holiday in the face of news of the death of a close relative. We had to change arrangements at the end of it, but until that point we carried on as best as we could. It was an elderly relative and the timing was slightly abrupt yet not entirely unanticpated as is often the case in nonagenarians.
The Queen's work ethic and sense of duty is admirable, but the conclusion of a long life after a gradual decline is not tragic and I wouldn't be cancelling plans willy nilly just because.
flowerdaisy4 · 08/09/2022 17:02
And personally I think Di was vastly different.
Lots of people on the ground had empathy with her.
She was fucked over by a cheating husband (Prince Charles soon to be King whatever that means I'm being sarcastic here as I feel it is irrelevant nowadays).
She then lost custody of her kids as custody went to the Queen (not a lot of people realise that).
She did shed loads of quite dangerous and difficult charity work and changed lives.
She tried to start a new life for herself and then died in a car crash.
That was tragic and may I suggest that is why a lot of people on the ground empathised.
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