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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a party this weekend even if the Queen dies

224 replies

HmAndAh · 08/09/2022 15:32

We have been planning the garden party for two months, 30+ people invited for this Saturday. Now with the news on TV about Queen's health we are unsure whether we should cancel it, and what to do if the sad news happens tomorrow or Saturday.
Would you find it appropriate to come to the big party in case of the Queen dies on the day?

YANBU - proceed with the event as planned.

AIBU - cancel the party, it will be inappropriate and awkward

OP posts:
Rubysmama77 · 08/09/2022 16:12

Spidey66 · 08/09/2022 16:00

I read the title amd thought you'd throw a party this weekend if she did died, not that that it was already planned!

I'd go ahead tbh, but I'm no royalist, and the death of a 96 year old woman who I don't know, have nothing in common with, and who I don't actually have more than the tiniest bit of respect for, wouldn't affect my plans.

This!

vera99 · 08/09/2022 16:13

In Thailand, there was fascist like mourning where if you didn't wear black, show sufficient deference you were beaten or worse when King Rama 9 who ruled for a similar time and was very popular with his people died. Thank god we're not like this here and not (yet) a military dictatorship.

Backtobacknow · 08/09/2022 16:13

DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 16:06

I'm going to disagree and say it will be in bad taste.

I can't quite articulate how I feel properly in words, but i would find it disrespectful as a guest and would likely decline. And I wouldn't want to hear my neighbours celebrating in their garden at a national period of mourning.

Even if you don't like the Queen I think it ultimately is about respect. And maybe a teenie amount of nationalism.

Sorry but I think this is ridiculous! 96 year old woman dies, it happens and life continues.

I am glad to see that you are in the minority.

berksandbeyond · 08/09/2022 16:14

10HailMarys · 08/09/2022 15:33

Unless you are Prince Charles, I reckon you're fine to go ahead

Fair play, that made me laugh

Backtobacknow · 08/09/2022 16:15

Bramshott · 08/09/2022 16:06

Party at home - carry on
Party in a venue - you may find that the venue cancels

A venue cancel? Really? Covid? Cost of living crisis? Energy price increase? You reckon they can afford to cancel?

I think food on the table and warmth this winter is probably more important.

Dinoteeth · 08/09/2022 16:16

Spin it the other way if you must Celebrate the new King. But cancelling is daft.

KettrickenSmiled · 08/09/2022 16:16

And I wouldn't want to hear my neighbours celebrating in their garden at a national period of mourning.

That's quite the assumption, for 60million-odd people.

National Mourning is for relatives & officials. Oh, & newspapers/media who will be having a field day. The UK may be a lot of things, many of them bloody awful right now. But we are no longer entirely peopled by sycophants & nobody has the right to impose deference on us en masse these days.

maddiemookins16mum · 08/09/2022 16:16

Carry on, in fact I reckon Queenie would say just that.

JimmyShoo · 08/09/2022 16:16

When Diana died it felt like the country came to a standstill. Most events were cancelled and shops were shut. It felt a bit eerie.

abovedecknotbelow · 08/09/2022 16:16

Given that you and your guests most likely don't know her, why the fuck would you cancel your plans?

nachoavocado · 08/09/2022 16:18

Carry on but prepare for people to drop out or they may want to sit in front of the TV and watch happenings from there. Comfort in friends at tricky times.

Orangey25 · 08/09/2022 16:18

Yeah im sure the royal family would cancel their family party if one of your elderly family members passed away 🙄

KettrickenSmiled · 08/09/2022 16:18

Even if you don't like the Queen I think it ultimately is about respect. And maybe a teenie amount of nationalism.

OK I'll "respect" the Queen when she curtsies to my relatives.
And nationalism/patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel.

Grettan · 08/09/2022 16:18

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Mollyplop999 · 08/09/2022 16:21

Ignore the sarcastic replies, you sound like a lovely person. Go ahead and raise a toast in celebration of her life

JOFFCV · 08/09/2022 16:23

JimmyShoo · 08/09/2022 16:16

When Diana died it felt like the country came to a standstill. Most events were cancelled and shops were shut. It felt a bit eerie.

I think that was different. She died in tragic circumstances at a young age.

Whammyyammy · 08/09/2022 16:23

My FIL died 3 weeks ago, life carried on aa normal...

SunshineClouds1 · 08/09/2022 16:23

10HailMarys · 08/09/2022 15:33

Unless you are Prince Charles, I reckon you're fine to go ahead

😂

Antarcticant · 08/09/2022 16:24

The Queen would want people to carry on as normal. She is not one for huge displays of grief. Have the party and say a toast to the Queen.

vera99 · 08/09/2022 16:24

So with the government in limbo the whole summer we can add another two weeks as the political class go into meltdown no doubt. The funeral will probably have the biggest gathering of heads of state ever seen and be a security and logistical nightmare.

LimpBiskit · 08/09/2022 16:24

why is this even a question??

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 08/09/2022 16:25

Katherine Mansfield, is that you? 😀

bellinisurge · 08/09/2022 16:27

Go ahead. Have a lovely time. Hope the weather holds. Some guests might be a down but this won't be like the mass paralysis when Diana died (I'm old enough to remember that - I was 30 then). She's an old lady who has served her country to the end. Raise a glass to her.
I'm a Republican, by the way

bellinisurge · 08/09/2022 16:29

Not that kind of Republican- should be a small r

DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 16:30

Backtobacknow · 08/09/2022 16:13

Sorry but I think this is ridiculous! 96 year old woman dies, it happens and life continues.

I am glad to see that you are in the minority.

Show quote history

I wrote a reply to this and it's disappeared!

I can't be bothered to rewrite it. But I do understand what you're saying. Nevertheless in some way I can't quite understand, it would bother me.

Whilst I might be a minority on this thread, I suspect a sizable minority out there will agree with me.

I'm from an ethnic minority and possibly cultural ideas about death are influencing my viewpoint somewhat. Other than that, as I said I can't articulate it

I'm not surprised if others disagree.

I shall be travelling to BP to pay my respects with some flowers at some point either tomorrow or the day after. I sincerely hope she is just frail and hasn't passed.