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AIBU?

To have a party this weekend even if the Queen dies

224 replies

HmAndAh · 08/09/2022 15:32

We have been planning the garden party for two months, 30+ people invited for this Saturday. Now with the news on TV about Queen's health we are unsure whether we should cancel it, and what to do if the sad news happens tomorrow or Saturday.
Would you find it appropriate to come to the big party in case of the Queen dies on the day?

YANBU - proceed with the event as planned.

AIBU - cancel the party, it will be inappropriate and awkward

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

1530 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
11%
You are NOT being unreasonable
89%
PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 17:39

Againstmachine · 08/09/2022 17:29

I hope they don’t cancel the sport this weekend. But I’ve got a feeling that there will be some hysteria and people/companies/leagues will feel obliged to cancel stuff. It will impact the economy. I don’t know what good that would do.

And wouldn't be good for people who work those events relying on those wages.

Definitely, and a lot of people doing those kind of roles are casual, hourly rates etc. The thought of them having to miss out on money they might really need because of some ludicrous conception of respect is awful.

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vera99 · 08/09/2022 17:40

It will never be like Thailand though where they lost their King who reigned for 70 years - all bars were closed for a month everybody wore black for nearly a year and woe betide anybody not going with the flow they were beaten, arrested or worse. They had a year of national mourning before burning him in a huge replica palace.

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larry4PM · 08/09/2022 17:42

If it's a party in a garden, go ahead. Especially if it's for an actual event, like someone's birthday or wedding anniversary.

If, for some bizarre reason, it's a Royal-themed garden party where everyone wears Queen Elizabeth masks, no.

If anyone understands that life goes on, it's the Queen. I genuinely think she cares about her subjects. Unlike the politicians, who care about no one, and would always throw a party at any time, anyway.

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DappledThings · 08/09/2022 17:42

vera99 · 08/09/2022 17:40

It will never be like Thailand though where they lost their King who reigned for 70 years - all bars were closed for a month everybody wore black for nearly a year and woe betide anybody not going with the flow they were beaten, arrested or worse. They had a year of national mourning before burning him in a huge replica palace.

I would totally get on board with interest in the Queen dying if it meant a massive Buck Palace burning replica funeral. That would be amazing.

Not so much the enforced mourning though.

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SherbetDips · 08/09/2022 17:44

Have your party and if appropriate have a toast to her majesty and thank her for her service.

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Lovemusic33 · 08/09/2022 17:45

I’m sure the queen would want you to go ahead (if she even knew you) 🤣

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ArticSaviour · 08/09/2022 17:47

10HailMarys · 08/09/2022 15:33

Unless you are Prince Charles, I reckon you're fine to go ahead

GrinGrinGrin

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InChocolateWeTrust · 08/09/2022 17:47

Have your party.

If she does go, raise a toast in her honour at the end of the night.

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StoneofDestiny · 08/09/2022 17:48

Royals mean nothing to me so I'd cancel nothing if one of them died - bizarre that there would be any sort of 'forced' mourning. What on Earth would be gained by shutting things down. What next - mourning jet jewellery?

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OnlyEverAutumn · 08/09/2022 17:51

@InChocolateWeTrust or don’t. They’ll certainly be no toast raising where I am. The groom is an ardent Republican 🙄

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PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 17:52

StoneofDestiny · 08/09/2022 17:48

Royals mean nothing to me so I'd cancel nothing if one of them died - bizarre that there would be any sort of 'forced' mourning. What on Earth would be gained by shutting things down. What next - mourning jet jewellery?

I can absolutely guarantee that when she does go, be that today or some other time in the future, there will be all kinds of mourning memorabilia available to buy. Someone always cashes in.

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StoneofDestiny · 08/09/2022 17:52

The irony - this government partied while our older citizens died off in great numbers in their care homes, many well before their time, - yet here we are discussing whether the country shuts down for the inevitable consequence of an old lady dying in her 90's.

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SunnyD44 · 08/09/2022 17:54

Even if it was a family member then I’d still go ahead.

Just because someone dies, doesn’t mean life should stop.

And I actually think living life to the full and having fun is a much better way to celebrate someone’s memory than being down and miserable.

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vera99 · 08/09/2022 17:55

Looks like this is fast becoming the sanity thread. MN does need one and probably only one.

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WatermelonSugarSigh · 08/09/2022 17:58

SunnyD44 · 08/09/2022 17:54

Even if it was a family member then I’d still go ahead.

Just because someone dies, doesn’t mean life should stop.

And I actually think living life to the full and having fun is a much better way to celebrate someone’s memory than being down and miserable.

Yep. My gran died two days before my wedding, still had to go ahead with it.

I reckon she could tell he was a tosser and found her way of getting out of attending 😁

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merryhouse · 08/09/2022 17:58

I remember when Diana died. There was a load of stuff on the news about all the wailing and tributes outside KP, but I don't recall anybody cancelling anything.

Admittedly I wasn't being invited to parties every week but things just seemed to go on as normal, maybe with a slightly less varied conversation for a bit.

(H watched the funeral. I didn't bother. Elton massacred a decent song.)

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Spanielsarepainless · 08/09/2022 18:02

If I were invited, it would be a relief to get away from the relentless coverage. I hate the way the shroud-wavers are already at it.

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giveovernate · 08/09/2022 18:04

merryhouse · 08/09/2022 17:58

I remember when Diana died. There was a load of stuff on the news about all the wailing and tributes outside KP, but I don't recall anybody cancelling anything.

Admittedly I wasn't being invited to parties every week but things just seemed to go on as normal, maybe with a slightly less varied conversation for a bit.

(H watched the funeral. I didn't bother. Elton massacred a decent song.)

I remember my DS1 being invited to a bouncy castle party on the day of her funeral, still went ahead!

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Ketanne · 08/09/2022 18:10

I would go ahead. I haven't really been following the story, I've just found out she is seriously unwell due to another thread on here.
Apart from the the fact it is sad that a person died, I won't be upset when the Queen does die, I don't know many who will. I won't be happy about it, just ambivalent.

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OfficiallyBroken · 08/09/2022 18:12

If your maiden name was Markle you'll definitely be roasted in every imaginable media outlet...otherwise I'd go ahead with your plans.

If anyone is exceptionally sad about the Queen they probably won't come.

I attended a long planned party on the day of Princess Diana's funeral - the world didn't end and we weren't dragged over hot coals.

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vera99 · 08/09/2022 18:44

I'm welling up after hear Andrew Marr's voice crack on LBC. RIP your Maj.

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DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 18:50

PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 17:38

I had a feeling you'd start tone policing once it was pointed out that you absolutely had said most people feel like you do. There was nowhere else for you to go after that direct quote.

So let's take this opportunity to point out: this is a thread asking for views about whether to cancel a garden party, on a forum whose selling point is a robust exchange of views. Which you clearly understand, given your comments about this being predictable on MN. You have said various things that many of us find ridiculous and that some would even consider offensive, and now appear to think you have some kind of moral high ground in flouncing because you didn't like what you read. That'll be a no.

A robust exchange of views is certainly what MN is about. Something I like and respect.

Being nasty and rude is not.

You can try and conflate those things to justify your nastiness all you like.

It's a sad day. I am a little more sensitive to deliberate goadiness than normal.

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DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 18:50

PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 17:38

I had a feeling you'd start tone policing once it was pointed out that you absolutely had said most people feel like you do. There was nowhere else for you to go after that direct quote.

So let's take this opportunity to point out: this is a thread asking for views about whether to cancel a garden party, on a forum whose selling point is a robust exchange of views. Which you clearly understand, given your comments about this being predictable on MN. You have said various things that many of us find ridiculous and that some would even consider offensive, and now appear to think you have some kind of moral high ground in flouncing because you didn't like what you read. That'll be a no.

A robust exchange of views is certainly what MN is about. Something I like and respect.

Being nasty and rude is not.

You can try and conflate those things to justify your nastiness all you like.

It's a sad day. I am a little more sensitive to deliberate goadiness than normal.

Report
DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 18:51

PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 17:38

I had a feeling you'd start tone policing once it was pointed out that you absolutely had said most people feel like you do. There was nowhere else for you to go after that direct quote.

So let's take this opportunity to point out: this is a thread asking for views about whether to cancel a garden party, on a forum whose selling point is a robust exchange of views. Which you clearly understand, given your comments about this being predictable on MN. You have said various things that many of us find ridiculous and that some would even consider offensive, and now appear to think you have some kind of moral high ground in flouncing because you didn't like what you read. That'll be a no.

A robust exchange of views is certainly what MN is about. Something I like and respect.

Being nasty and rude is not.

You can try and conflate those things to justify your nastiness all you like.

It's a sad day. I am a little more sensitive to deliberate goadiness than normal.

Report
DysonSphere · 08/09/2022 18:51

PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 08/09/2022 17:38

I had a feeling you'd start tone policing once it was pointed out that you absolutely had said most people feel like you do. There was nowhere else for you to go after that direct quote.

So let's take this opportunity to point out: this is a thread asking for views about whether to cancel a garden party, on a forum whose selling point is a robust exchange of views. Which you clearly understand, given your comments about this being predictable on MN. You have said various things that many of us find ridiculous and that some would even consider offensive, and now appear to think you have some kind of moral high ground in flouncing because you didn't like what you read. That'll be a no.

A robust exchange of views is certainly what MN is about. Something I like and respect.

Being nasty and rude is not.

You can try and conflate those things to justify your nastiness all you like.

It's a sad day. I am a little more sensitive to deliberate goadiness than normal.

Report
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