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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To re home the kitten

224 replies

Holliego · 05/09/2022 21:55

So, since getting our kitten my DH has been really struggling with his asthma. My Dd and I love him to absolute bits and don’t want to re home him! Please any suggestions? He said he hasn’t stopped sneezing and can feel it in his lungs. I’m actually devastated because obviously DH comes first

OP posts:
Dreamwhisper · 05/09/2022 21:56

Where do you live OP? Smile

As sad as it is you should definitely rehome. If I was your DH I would be scared of getting really poorly.

ofwarren · 05/09/2022 21:57

Has he tried antihistamines?
If those don't work then you really don't have much choice but to rehome. Such a shame 😞

VeryQuaintIrene · 05/09/2022 21:57

Has he seen a doctor? There are medical ways to cope with allergies (my partner is quite allergic, but does OK with inhalers etc.).

Original poster
Holliego · 05/09/2022 22:00

Yes he has tried anti histamines. My daughter is currently snuggled up with him on her bed. I am absolutely devastated and don’t know how to tell her. He said it is making him not want to come home.

OP posts:
Original poster
Holliego · 05/09/2022 22:01

anybody have cats and have dealt with this I would really appreciate your advice and what you did to love with it. I would do anything to let him stay.

OP posts:
Goodadvice1980 · 05/09/2022 22:02

Try Petalcleanse, check it’s ok for a young kitten 🐾🐾

Original poster
Holliego · 05/09/2022 22:02

Are there ways in which he can overcome this? Managed by medicine? I don’t know much about allergies tbh. I could cry I am that gutted

OP posts:
mycatisannoying · 05/09/2022 22:02

Oh no! I would try asking on the relevant pet board. Good luck.

Rosebud1302 · 05/09/2022 22:03

Have you tried PetAlCleanse?

Original poster
Holliego · 05/09/2022 22:03

If anybody on here has suffered the same, please tell me how you resolved it! I really really want him to stay!!

OP posts:
FeliciteFaff · 05/09/2022 22:04

Im astounded you need to ask. Rehome the kitten before it and your
daughter get too attached. Surely you realise that. Your poor DH.

PurpleWisteria · 05/09/2022 22:05

Your husband doesn't want to come home and you want to keep the reason?

Allergies aren't trivial he could get very Ill.

The cat has to go.

Floralnomad · 05/09/2022 22:08

Is your husband on inhalers normally ? Sometimes these things do get better as you get accustomed to the pet .

Dinhop · 05/09/2022 22:08

Immunity builds up with time so maybe ask him to just stop moaning and see what happens in a few weeks? Or keep the kitten out from your bedroom?

Plus, I’d choose a pet over a man every time - less problematic 🙈

Original poster
Holliego · 05/09/2022 22:10

I would rather have the kitten than DH, I think that is the problem! We all love him! Husband is never here tbh, either working, playing sport or put with his friends

OP posts:
Newfluff · 05/09/2022 22:11

It takes me about 2 years to become immune to each new pet, prior to that I take anti histamines, not just occasionally but every day at the same time. I wet wipe all sides and have carpets, the reason being carpets trap allergies hard floor makes them bounce around. I hoover twice daily and wash my hands and face all the time. I find it takes about six months to start to see a difference.

I'm sure people think I'm mental (especially if they see me react) but having animals makes my life.

gamerchick · 05/09/2022 22:11

I'm allergic to our cat. I keep her out of my bedroom and damp dust and clean/hoover regularly. 7 years in it's not so bad now but I can't have her in my bedroom.

I had a friend who developed an allergy to cats, so every cat she saw she rubbed it all over the face, something I'd loved to have seen the cats faces. Then eventually it stopped.

However if your bloke doesn't want to come home, you don't have a choice really.

Original poster
Holliego · 05/09/2022 22:12

I really don’t want him to go. It would break my daughters heart. DH is a twat anyway!

OP posts:
Original poster
Holliego · 05/09/2022 22:13

Surely there are ways he can manage it. For her sake?

OP posts:
SarahSissions · 05/09/2022 22:13

I’d say antihistamines, only allow the cat downstairs and keep off furniture and work surfaces. Hoover regularly and get a robovacum to go round in between

Saynotothefishtank · 05/09/2022 22:14

PurpleWisteria · 05/09/2022 22:05

Your husband doesn't want to come home and you want to keep the reason?

Allergies aren't trivial he could get very Ill.

The cat has to go.

This.

I LOVE my cat, I feel your pain. But there isn’t a win-win option here. You can’t delete an allergy. Either cat is rehomed or husband suffers permanently.

It sucks. I’m very sorry 😭

Do it asap as a kitten will be MUCH easier to rehome than a grown up cat.

OneTC · 05/09/2022 22:16

My OH overcame her allergy to our DCat in about 3 months, she's also got asthma.

Worth noting though that if she gets a cold or flu type thing there seems to be a higher chance of it going badly than prior to DCat

shinynewapple22 · 05/09/2022 22:16

Holliego · 05/09/2022 22:10

I would rather have the kitten than DH, I think that is the problem! We all love him! Husband is never here tbh, either working, playing sport or put with his friends

I can't quite tell here OP - is this a jokey comment - or is there more to tell here than just your DH being allergic to the cat?

mountainsunsets · 05/09/2022 22:16

Well, it seems you don't really care that much about your husband if you're happy to make him live with an animal that makes him poorly.

Maybe you should split up and take the kitten with you if that's more important 🤷🏻‍♀️

VenusStarr · 05/09/2022 22:16

I was allergic to my first cat. We got her when I was 15 and I'd begged my mom to get her. I basically desensitised myself. Had a bad few weeks (and had childhood asthma). I had to pretend that I didnt feel as ill as I did. She slept in my room and was my cat. It worked out in the end. She moved out with me and lived with me until she died.

I've got 2 other cats now and occasionally i do get a reaction, if I get fur in my eye for example. But you'd not know I'd ever been allergic.

But, I am now allergic to dogs (wasn't previously).