To re home the kitten

[Holliego]

So, since getting our kitten my DH has been really struggling with his asthma. My Dd and I love him to absolute bits and don’t want to re home him! Please any suggestions? He said he hasn’t stopped sneezing and can feel it in his lungs. I’m actually devastated because obviously DH comes first

I've had cats almost all my life. For some reason about 10 years ago I developed asthma like allergies.

Imagine having really bad hayfever, like really bad, and then tripling it.

Now whenever I visit my mum I have to stay in the garden but even then when the cat comes out my face itches, my lungs feel like they've got chilli powder in them and I can not stop sneezing.

I take antihistamines, I cycle different kinds. It's not enough.

I also don't think someone should have to be so dependent on medication to lessen symptoms of an allergy in their own home for something that is easily removable.

Antihistamine usage has been linked to Alzheimer's. It can cause insomnia, and also extreme drowsiness. It's not nice feeling like you're drunk on a concoction of drugs, and it's even worse when you're shovelling them in hoping they'll help but they barely touch the sides.

I'm sorry, but I think you need to re-home

But it’s down to me to pump myself with drugs for contraception?

I'd be wanting to see some evidence that he actually is suffering. He says he hasn't stopped sneezing, you say you haven't seen it once...

I'm betting this has far more to do with not liking the cat than allergies.

I'm on team kitten.

No. You don't have to do that either.

You can use non-hormonal contraception, discuss a vasectomy or abstain.

Your desire to use contraceptives or not doesn't impact whether you can breathe in your own home.

Op why dont you start a new thread asking about how to go about divorcing your husband? You are clearly not happy in the marriage, the cat isnt the real issue.

Keep the cat then. Maybe your husband will have a severe asthma attack and die. Two birds with one stone n all that.

If your DH is staying then the kitten has to go. It's all very well struggling through allergic rhinitis but asthma is a killer potentially. I say that as a cat lover but also as the parent of a cat-allergic asthmatic child - and yes, we did rehome the cat, with great sadness.

But if he's saying it makes him not want to come home despite having negligible observable symptoms, and he already has form for spending a lot of time out of the home then tbh I'd wonder if your marriage is falling apart anyway, based also on what you're feeling about him. You need to act sooner rather than later imo and confront him about what's going on and whether it's time to call it quits, in which case a much loved kitten could be a blessing and it might as well stay.

I think you need to be careful of letting him scapegoat the kitten for his departure though - that would be a terrible thing for your dd to have to rationalise as she grows up.

I rehomed the two kittens when we discovered DD1 (age 10) was allergic.
Then I got a hypoallergenic puppy (poodle) that she was not allergic to and learned to love dogs almost as much as cats.

My husband has asthma and is allergic to cats. He doesn’t sneeze or audibly wheeze as warnings. He just gets an increasingly tight chest and then has a full blown asthma attack.
He’s got worse over time, not better.
luckily he’s ok with dogs.

I think you should leave your husband for his sake.

What about getting a sphinx cat instead. They are “hairless” so shouldn’t trigger allergies. (Apologies if this has already been addressed)

Have you tried Petal Cleanse? It's a treatment you apply to the kitten to reduce dander, which is the main cause of allergies. It's not an instant fix but it's worked very well for two seriously allergic friends of mine, one of whom now lives happily with a dog and the other with three cats. You can buy it from Amazon and I think Pets at Home.

My Dh has been trying to make us get rid of dcat pretty much since we got him even though he was a well researched, JOINT decision, he’s always moaning and being miserable but no way would I get rid of the cat, he’s family and Dh can F off.

however if he has asthma and the cat was genuinely making things worse I would probably have to rehome because I have read continuous exposure can actually make things worse, just depends as sometimes can desensitise but not sure if that’s the case with asthma as an attack could be fatal, I guess like anaphylactic you would continuously expose someone to nuts unless in a controlled, lab environment. Maybe get advice from a specialist but probably better to rehome as early as possible so the kids don’t get too attached. Or if you can get rid of Dh if you’re not happy with him anyway 💐

*you wouldn’t continuously expose

Agree with what pp said about not letting him scapegoat your cat

You don’t like your husband, it doesn’t sound like he spends much time at home and it sounds like the relationship is done. Get rid of husband, keep the cat.

Haven't rtft as I should be asleep, but I'm sure one of the brands does a cat food that's supposed to reduce allergies, though I have no idea if it's suitable for kittens. Might be worth asking your vet?

I have chronic and fairly bad allergies but like a pp, take daily hefty antihistamines and a steroid nasal spray (both prescribed by my very lovely and patient GP) and five years in, I only notice my cat allergies when I've left it too long between doses and I get a bit snotty. It's been life changing for me - had four years of stubbornly having my two kittens and slowly getting used to them, but the additional meds have made my life a lot more normal.

However, I don't have asthma - have a blue inhaler because I had one incident of asthma-like symptoms when I had whooping cough and they wanted me to have it as a precaution.

I hope you can find a way to keep the kitten!

This is how I got my ragdoll. The original cat's owner's wife became very allergic. They tried everything, including regular anti-histamine injections, but nothing worked I'm afraid.

I don't know the details but I have come across 2 vets who were, 'desensitized' .

www.allergicliving.com/2020/10/13/nothing-to-sneeze-at-new-strategies-for-controlling-cat-allergy/

www.cats.org.uk/oxford/feature-pages/living-with-cat-allergies#:~:text=According%20to%20Allergy%20UK%2C%20an,for%20three%20to%20five%20years.

Keep the kitten, dump the husband. You sound like you’re very unhappy. Maybe the kitten is a catalyst for change (pun intended).

I would explain allergies to your dd, and rehome the kitten.

This isn't about the cat, is it?

Only a few days isn't long enough and presumably DH is capable of removing himself from teh house and using inhalers if he feels like a serious asthma attack is going to happen.

I get rather snotty/wheezy/runny eyes when exposed to 'new' animal fur and it takes a week or so to go.

On top of the Petalclense - hepa filtered vacuum, air filtration, damp dusting and anti-histamines. DH should launder his clothes more often and consider using a dryer as they remove pet hair far better than line or airer drying ever will.

And keep the kitten downstairs or at the very least, out of DH's bedroom.

Theres a lot of folk out there managing allergies and asthma and keeping a pet that can trigger it, two of my friends have really mega serious asthma and both have hairy pets (one a dog, one a cat).

I was diagnosed with asthma after we had our dog. I take Montelukast which was a game changer and we still have our dog. Keep the kitten out of the bedroom though and definitely not on the bed

😳

How long have you had the kitten? I'm allergic but grew up with cats and dogs. When I went to university it would take me a couple of weeks of sneezing and wheezing when I came back home before I adjusted and could tolerate them again.