To re home the kitten

[Holliego]

So, since getting our kitten my DH has been really struggling with his asthma. My Dd and I love him to absolute bits and don’t want to re home him! Please any suggestions? He said he hasn’t stopped sneezing and can feel it in his lungs. I’m actually devastated because obviously DH comes first

I have asthma as in just plain, straight-up asthma and also asthma triggered by allergies. I can feel plain, straight-up asthma coming on if I'm coming down with a cold I always know if it's the type of cold that will cause a chest infection and asthma attack and require steroids before it happens but my allergy-triggered asthma is immediate upon being exposed to the trigger (cats, birds, dust, grass pollen, and straw/hay). I don't feel it coming on over the course of days.

It's the dry air with central heating that can irritate asthma. Stick a damp towel on the radiator when the heating is on. It helps.

Oh OK, so you can see why he'd not want anything making them worse then?

So he should just suck it up and feel even worse? 🙄

My DH has asthma. He is allergic to dogs but not cats (thankfully, as I’m a crazy cat lady!). When we first got together, he thought he was allergic to cats, but then discovered that he was actually ok with my cat. (We have 3 now and he really is ok.)

He doesn’t have a bad allergy to dogs, he’s ok with visits to households with dogs, for example my DSis’s family. His medication helps with in those circumstances, too.

But I wouldn’t put him through having to live with a dog. (I don’t want the responsibility, which helps when I have to say no when one of our DDs asks if we can have one.)

It’s possible that your DH has a similar type of allergy to cats. Or it could be that he’s concerned that he might be, but actually isn’t.

I agree that it would be a shame to give up the kitten before you know for sure whether your DH is actually allergic to it. But if he is, it would be unfair to expose him to a pet that he’s allergic to.

No, but this isn't about the kitten is it

You clearly don't like the bloke from your comments

I spoke to the pharmacist who advised there are so many different asthma inhalers, he just hasn’t found the right one for him. I am going to get him to call the asthma nurse tomorrow as it isn’t just the cat that is bringing these symptoms on like I said. Obviously his asthma isn’t being managed correctly

Eh? An inhaler isn't going to stop him being allergic to cats. They are two different things. You can have asthma without being allergic to cats, and you can have allergies without having asthma, but in a lot of asthmatic people allergies can trigger asthma symptoms/attacks. Changing his inhaler isn't going to make him less allergic.

She said when you have allergic asthma, different inhalers can help the symptoms

Yes but you're still supposed to avoid or remove the source of the allergen. It's not safe or healthy to continue to expose yourself to something that triggers asthmatic symptoms.

I mean my nans in her 70s, badly asmathic, has always been very allergic to cats and dogs, recently had blood clots on her lungs yet now has had decided to keep 2 dogs. She just takes an antihistamine and uses her inhaler.

My brother overcame his cat allergy for my parents' cat. He was an adult, could have moved out and wanted free rent. He was also a severe asthmatic and the cat gave him breathing problems.

• petal cleanse
• pet grade vacuum cleaner daily
• cat never goes upstairs ever
• cat not on carpeted areas. Replace carpets in living room with hard floor if necessary.
• cat doesn't go on furniture like sofas
• cat bedding gets washed regularly on its own wash
• prescription medication

But that doesn't mean you should continuously expose yourself to the allergens regardless.

The inhalers are there just in case.

I think I am just going to have to re home him

This is really sad.
My DH is asthmatic and was allergic to cats when I met him (he also despised them). I came with a cat or not at all so he resolved to power through it. It took about a year but eventually his allergies calmed down and now we have three cats instead of one and my husband actually really loves them. (He wanted three cats as well by the way I was fine with one!!) Others might not be so lucky though.

I really really don’t want to re home him! But I feel so bad if husband is suffering. This is so so hard. I’ve wanted a cat for so long and he is so lovely? How do I even re home him? Do I sell him? I don’t even want money but I want people to serious about taking him in. I just don’t know 😭

What was your husband symptoms? Was he wuite bad?

if he hasnt actually had symptoms yet the hes jsut catastrophising

get him to see the nurse about his asthma

I'm allergic to cats but have lived with several over the years and it took me approx 3 months to become desensitised. I managed by taking antihistamines, using an inhaler and eye drops and being scrupulous about washing my hands after touching the cat.

And Petalcleanse is brilliant stuff, I used that with the last 2 cats and it worked really well.

I’m just worried he is going to get worse. Worried about my daughter bonding with the cat etc

Did you not know your husband had allergies . My parents took a puppy away from me as a child and I've never forgiven them .

I didn’t know he was allergic to cats no, because he has been fine with the dog I thought he would be fine. I don’t think I will forgive myself to be honest. I have bonded with him and would absolutely love to keep him but everybody is telling me I am cruel, it’s lose lose this situation. Do I keep the cat for my daughters happiness? Help me

@hattie43 it's not like she got the cat without consulting him 🙄

It honestly sounds like there's nothing wrong with him at all!
I have asthma, DH has asthma and a cat and horse allergy. It's not a slow gradual thing. That's the whole point of asthma/allergic reactions, speed is a fundamental characteristic of asthmatic and allergic reactions. If I'm around a smoker or someone sprays deodorant I instantly start struggling to breath and coughing. If DH is around a cat he instantly comes out in rashes and starts struggling to breath.

Is he taking antihistamines everyday. If one doesn't work very well then he can try a different type. He can try a different inhaler. Why would the first port of call be to get rid of a pet when he won't even try and doesn't even seem to be struggling. He just wants attention and sympathy.

Studies (or possibly just one study) have shown that cat dander makes asthma worse even without a specific cat allergy. Cats and asthmatics are basically not a good combination, although plentry of asthmatics put up with the symptoms because they love their cats. The allergy may become suppressed, or stay the same, or worsen- there's no way to tell. As a child my allergy to dogs became suppressed, my cat allergy stayed the same but my allergies to horses and rabbits became life threatening so my parents had to rehome. If they'd acted earlier I would have spent less time in hospital but it took a while to disentangle what was happening.

I would never forgive myself if he ended up in hospital. I will never forgive myself for re homing him either.