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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To re home the kitten

224 replies

Holliego · 05/09/2022 21:55

So, since getting our kitten my DH has been really struggling with his asthma. My Dd and I love him to absolute bits and don’t want to re home him! Please any suggestions? He said he hasn’t stopped sneezing and can feel it in his lungs. I’m actually devastated because obviously DH comes first

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Holliego · 06/09/2022 16:07

from what I have seen he doesn’t look like somebody who is struggling? But I wouldn’t know as I don’t have asthma

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Holliego · 06/09/2022 16:12

He also said it doesn’t affect him whilst he is sleeping?

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notapizzaeater · 06/09/2022 16:18

My DH was allergic, we upped his anti histamines, uses the petal cleanse wipe stuff for a couple of weeks then he was fine with the cat. How long have you had the kitten ?

GooglyEyeballs · 06/09/2022 16:18

@Holliego My DH wheezed, coughed, eyes streamed, and needed his asthma pump more regularly than usual when he started living with a cat. Now he still has asthma but he will literally fall asleep on the sofa with one cat on his chest, one in the cross of his arm and the other on his legs and be fine.

Holliego · 06/09/2022 16:20

Only had him since Saturday. If he was going to have a really bad turn with asthma, would it have happened by now?

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WiddlinDiddlin · 06/09/2022 16:20

I think he's done a number on you, guilt tripping you..

If he was struggling he'd be having asthma attacks, wheezing and sneezing far more than usual, possibly itchy face/eyes/runny eyes etc.

I think its MUCH more likely he hasn't been managing his asthma/allergies properly, ie finding the right inhalers, going to the drs, ensuring the house is set up to be as dust/hair free as possible...

And is putting that on you/the cat because he can.

There are as other people have posted, lots of solutions, it sounds like he'd probably benefit from an air filter, from as few soft furnishings as possible (though how anyone keeps a cat off a sofa I do not know, a throw you can wash regularly would help there!), decent allergy-recommended vaccuum cleaner etc... and he should be fine.

PurpleWisteria · 06/09/2022 16:24

Holliego · 06/09/2022 16:20

Only had him since Saturday. If he was going to have a really bad turn with asthma, would it have happened by now?

I've answered this once. Stop grasping at straws and get rid of the cat.

Porcupineintherough · 06/09/2022 16:25

speed is a fundamental characteristic of asthmatic and allergic reactions

Not necessarily. Actually it's a gross oversimplification.

Maybe his first reaction is to get rid of the cat because it's a new pet so sime to rehome/return to the breeder (certainly easier now than I 6 months)? Maybe he's under the impression that his health and comfort is more important to the family than a new pet? I mean, clearly it's not but hey, it's a reasonable assumption.

Porcupineintherough · 06/09/2022 16:26

Holliego · 06/09/2022 16:20

Only had him since Saturday. If he was going to have a really bad turn with asthma, would it have happened by now?

No. Took me 18 months to go from nothing to life threatening.

Fluffycloudland77 · 06/09/2022 16:31

Looks like you’ve got a bit of time to get the life insurance upped then.

Holliego · 06/09/2022 16:46

It’s ok saying just get rid of the cat but it’s not as easy as that!!!!!!!

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Johnnysgirl · 06/09/2022 16:49

Holliego · 06/09/2022 16:46

It’s ok saying just get rid of the cat but it’s not as easy as that!!!!!!!

It is, actually.

Holliego · 06/09/2022 16:57

No it isn’t, my daughter will be distraught! I will be devastated too. Husband seems fine if I’m honest

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Fluffycloudland77 · 06/09/2022 17:02

Dh was allergic to our Bengal, or so he always said (he was just grateful the Bengal wasn’t allergic to him because we both knew who end up in the shed with a bed) and when the Bengal died we were both waiting for his wheezing to go but it didn’t.

It reduced when we put hard flooring in most rooms and dust mite proof covers on everything in the bedroom <insert dirty joke here if you want to>

Worryant · 06/09/2022 17:17

I got my cat and two weeks later starting dating my other half who would end up being my husband. As I was never going to get rid of my cat for a man I’d just started dating he had to deal with it! He has asthma and went on a steroid inhaler, it was fine to be honest. We had all hard flooring and when we moved from a flat to a house it got even better. He did get used to having her around and it did improve a lot with time.

LoveCatsButAllergic · 06/09/2022 17:19

I haven’t read the full thread @Holliego so I’m sure some/all of these have been suggested. I found I was massively allergic when we got a kitten and I couldn’t bear to say to children we’ll get rid so I’ve managed it

Firstly keep the kitten out of your bedroom and if your dh works from home keep kitten out of where he works as well. He needs to not stroke the cat and if he does wash his hands straight after.

Wash the kitten weekly using Allerpet Dander Remover Allergy Solution, you can get it on Amazon, bottle lasts ages. Kitten won’t like it but it will keep their fur lovely and soft. Two person job, we have a little lukewarm water in sink, one person gently but firmly holds kitten at neck (be careful) other uses jug to wet fur, little bit shampoo rubbed all over except head then rinse off and towel dry. Need to start doing this when they are a kitten, they will never like it but they will get used to it. This is really really effective.

Vacumn thoroughly and regularly with cleaner with good filter. Ideally it shouldn’t be your dh who vacumns.

I’d also suggest Air purifier in rooms where your dh and kitten are likely to be in eg living room. I mostly use AirFree purifiers that don’t need filters. More expensive up front cost but you don’t have to keep buying filters.

I use Anti histamines occasionally and have inhalers but the above measures manage it really well. I’d have never believed it when we got the original kitten as I was in a desperate state with nose constantly running, eyes bunged up and wheezing but I can now comfortably live with two cats.

LoveCatsButAllergic · 06/09/2022 17:24

Oh and get your dh to measure his peak flow and keep track of it. If he doesn’t have his own meter they are very cheap. His local asthma nurse can show him how to monitor it.

Fladdermus · 06/09/2022 17:28

My husband is allergic to cats as they trigger his asthma. We have cats. He found it harder in the early days. They don't bother him now but he does react to other people's cats. My DD has 3 cats and he really struggles at hers but has realised it's not so much the cats but the dust from the cat litter that triggers him. So she now keeps the litter covered and has a robot vacuum and he's coping better.

ILikeHotWaterBottles · 06/09/2022 17:33

If he seems fine, then maybe he is just being an arse and just doesn't want it around? Regretting saying yes since he doesn't like cats?

If he wants it gone, HE explains it to your daughter, not you. He doesn't get to opt out of parenting and leave bad news to you.

BadNomad · 06/09/2022 18:32

Just prewarn your daughter. Tell her the cat is making daddy a bit sick, you're going to see if he gets better, but if he doesn't the cat might need to go to a new home.

Holliego · 06/09/2022 19:18

Yes I will give her the heads up. I also haven’t seen him all day I’m scared he might be stuck somewhere?

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Motnight · 06/09/2022 19:29

Holliego · 06/09/2022 19:18

Yes I will give her the heads up. I also haven’t seen him all day I’m scared he might be stuck somewhere?

Your husband?

Holliego · 06/09/2022 19:30

@Motnight no the cat 😂😂

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picklemewalnuts · 06/09/2022 19:42

He totally needs to get an appointment with the asthma nurse. He agreed to a cat presumably. I don't think it's fair to upset everyone else before he's done all he can to cope.

Holliego · 06/09/2022 19:44

Is it normal for cats not to come of their hiding place all day?

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