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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not know what to do with myself during the day

212 replies

Asdson2022 · 03/09/2022 21:32

All 3 of my children now attend full time nursery/school. I'm a sahm unable to get a job. So the obvious answer isn't possible.

The issue is i can't commit to anything and i dont want to spend my days cleaning and being alone :(
Any ideas?

OP posts:
Pacca · 03/09/2022 21:34

You know you're just going to get loads of people asking why you 'can't' get a job.

Why can't you get a job?

WhiskersPete · 03/09/2022 21:36

Why can't you get a job?

Polimolly · 03/09/2022 21:36

You can work, study, have another child, become a lady of leisure, go to the gym, read... it all depends on your circumstances. Are you ok not earning?

JaceLancs · 03/09/2022 21:37

I started doing voluntary work which then led to paid work which I fitted around school hours and holidays until DC were 11 then worked FT

Whataretheodds · 03/09/2022 21:37

Volunteer.

Undermearmour · 03/09/2022 21:37

I'd be in the gym everyday.

StateOfTheUterus · 03/09/2022 21:38

Volunteer for a charity?

BendingSpoons · 03/09/2022 21:38

Volunteer? Your kids school would probably love you to come in and read with the kids. It may help with work opportunities in the future.
Join a gym? Classes are a good way to have more structure.
Do an online course? Work related or not.

AnneLovesGilbert · 03/09/2022 21:38

As above about the job situation. Volunteer? Why do you think you can’t stick to anything?

Other than all that, what do you enjoy? Bake bread, garden if you have one, go for walks, exercise, knit, learn a language, paint your nails, get a pet, read, watch films, meet people you can have coffee or exercise with.

UpYourOwnAss · 03/09/2022 21:38

Why are you unable to get a job? I work night shifts part time In retail, to get around not having to pay for childcare and being around for the school run.

But I understand how you're feeling. I try to fill my days with seeing friends, house work and or chilling! Sometimes catching up on sleep.

Flowerytoe · 03/09/2022 21:39

Learn a language or musical instrument.
Self study or go to local college
Go to the gym
Follow exercise videos on youtube
Read
Meet or make friends.
Redecorate the house.
DIY/ house maintenance
Batch cook
Gardening
Volunteer

oviraptor21 · 03/09/2022 21:40

Agree with the above.
Voluntary work, study and exercise kept me busy when I wasn't able to go back to work due to childcare needs.

TheRookie · 03/09/2022 21:40

I'd probably volunteer a couple of days, if I didn't have to work! Although getting a wee enjoyable job would be nice just for a bit of adult company!

Tierne · 03/09/2022 21:42

Get a job

Tothepoint99 · 03/09/2022 21:42

Polimolly · 03/09/2022 21:36

You can work, study, have another child, become a lady of leisure, go to the gym, read... it all depends on your circumstances. Are you ok not earning?

Have another child!!??

alltoomuchrightnow · 03/09/2022 21:42

why on earth would you not work?

FrownedUpon · 03/09/2022 21:43

Study with a view to entering a career you’re passionate about. Don’t just waste the next 20+ years of your life.

Original poster
Asdson2022 · 03/09/2022 21:44

I didn't mention why i can't work as it's not relevant.

My ds has a disability that caused me to lose my job due to the fact i wasn't working even half my shifts due to hospital appointments/admissions and school refusal/needing to be picked up early. So since dh is the highest earner i become a sahm

OP posts:
alltoomuchrightnow · 03/09/2022 21:44

How do you manage for money?
Do you feel financially secure not earning?

alltoomuchrightnow · 03/09/2022 21:44

sorry read your last message.

BloodyCamping · 03/09/2022 21:46

Could you dog walk for a bit of money?

help in a food bank, soup kitchen or community setting for the elderly

train for a new career

complete an open university course online

Read, learn a new skill, get fit,

redecorate, grow vegetables,

work or volunteer in school

meet friends

AnneLovesGilbert · 03/09/2022 21:49

It’s relevant only in as much as it impacts other suggestions eg volunteering.

So what do you like doing? What makes you happy and feel fulfilled? It sounds like you might benefit from a project you can pick up and put down. Do you like DIY? Could you learn how to sew a huge beautiful quilt?

Original poster
Asdson2022 · 03/09/2022 21:49

I would love to volunteer but it still needs a commitment i can't just now. I have looked at online courses but i wouldn't get much social interaction out of it.

OP posts:
Caroffee · 03/09/2022 21:49
  • study with the Open University
  • go to events at your local library i.e. reading cafe, knit and natter
  • find local guided walks to go on
  • join a choir
  • volunteer
Tierne · 03/09/2022 21:51

I think starting a sole trader business that allows you to pick your hours would be great for you. Thinking of an idea, researching, doing any necessary training, coming up with the concept and marketing etc etc. Could be very all consuming and empowering.