To not know what to do with myself during the day

[Asdson2022]

All 3 of my children now attend full time nursery/school. I'm a sahm unable to get a job. So the obvious answer isn't possible.

The issue is i can't commit to anything and i dont want to spend my days cleaning and being alone :(
Any ideas?

Wow I'm feeling very vulnerable tonight and you have pushed me over the edge
Hope your proud of yourself

Get an allotment, it's enjoyable to grow things and there are often other people around to chat to

In case you would genuinely consider volunteering if you thought it possible - I used to volunteer one morning a week for Dog's Trust. As long as I let them know if I couldn't make it they were more than happy for me to be flexible, they were just appreciative of having any extra hands to hold leads! It wasn't the biggest time commitment and I got a lot intrinsically from doing it. Plenty of charities or other volunteer sources would be more than understanding of your situation and be flexible in supporting you whilst you support them. You mentioned you would theoretically love to volunteer, what sort of thing would you have in mind? Nothing to lose by contacting some organisations and just asking what opportunities they have?

Oh just ignore the angry people. There’s a lot of them around at the moment and it says more about them than it does about you. Mumsnet generally hates sahms. The minute you mention being one - especially if the kids are school age - you’re treated as if you must be bored to death and told you must get a job. It’s very tiresome.

If you are looking for social interaction, try:
Volunteering - maybe food bank, community gardening or litter collection - anything that gets you mixing with a group of locals.
Maybe join a support group for parents of children with disabilities
Definitely some structured exercise - a bootcamp, yoga or running club. At least 2 times a week.
I'd also start up a small business - not a pyramid scheme - but something you can do from home and manage the workload that makes use of existing talents and training you have, even if it's just transferable skills.

I spend my days form-filling, phone-calling and emailing due to two children having SEN (and the battle for support that goes with it), I go to the gym 3/4 times a week, volunteer work for a social action charity, and am currently studying online for two certificates which will hopefully help when I'm ready to return to the workplace. And of course the domestic chores. The hours run out fast.

OP im in the same position as you, My childs needs mean i need to be on call at all times and able to just drop everything and get to him which makes working impossible. I volunteer in his school and since they are fully aware of his needs they understand when i cant make it or need to leave early (since they are the ones calling me)

@Afterfire
Except OP has come on looking for opinions/complaining about no interactions and has gone on to shoot down every reasonable suggestion!!!

What was the point?!

Certainly when attending art, yoga, quilting classes etc. it is fine to miss the odd week.
Go swimming. Go to the library. Walk.
Your local church may have discussion groups during the day. Or need volunteers to be around for visitors.

She only started the thread at 9.30pm today give the woman a chance! She doesn’t have to get ‘off her ass’, she wants to, and so if she’s a little be choosy about how she does that then that’s absolutely her right. But well done you for kicking a woman asking for help while she’s a little down, hope you feel great about yourself for it.

I would…
learn a language
start writing/ researching a novel
have a tidy house (hmmm…)
garden
grow fruit and vegetables
go on long dog walks
plan Christmas/ birthdays/ holidays
take up running
take up horse riding again
decorate the house

Actually, that’s the fantasy version. Really i’d:
go on MN
do extra supermarket trips to pick up what I’d forgotten
do most of DH’s business admin
tidy constantly but never get anywhere
walk the dogs
prep dinner
Do all the life admin
realise it was pick up time already and I’d achieved nothing.

Until recently I volunteered with St John's Ambulance. They ask for two shifts a month and that can be as little as 2 x 4 hours. You use an online roster system to book shifts so you just look for what's available and click if its something you can do. Usually I managed one shift a week but probably once a month had to cancel due to kids being poorly, this was never an issue to them. It was a great confidence and skills builder and helped me to get back into paid work. Best thing I ever did.

This sounds brilliant.what type of thing did you do?

Brilliantly put!

Volunteer at the school, with them knowing your DS takes priority?

How old are your kids op?

A few things I do on my days off:
Coffee with friends
Walking
Gym
Supermarket
Reading
Tidying
Gardening
Volunteer in school

Well one thing you could do is join a gym and when you drop the kids off in the morning go along to the gym and have an hour's exercise. You'll meet other women and you'll get fit. It will help you feel great for the day.

It must be really difficult if your child is refusing to go to school. You must feel incredibly stressed.

Maybe you should think ahead as to what kind of career you could have in the future. If you already have a good career, albeit on hold at moment, then perhaps you could keep up your training. If you don't have a career then think about what you enjoy doing. You can post asking for help e.g. I want to be an XXX, how do I go about it?

I did first aid at events initially then moved on to a bit of NHS support with basic care during the height of covid. Had no prior experience and was no pressure to do more than I wanted. They provide all the training and support. It's worth looking into for anyone who is unsure about what level of commitment they can offer. I left to take up a paid job with the NHS in the end.

Running (couch to 5k to start if you don’t already)

Long walks with a flask of soup

if you have relevant skills, volunteer for local repair cafe (loads popping up round us at the Mo)

grow veg and herbs (garden, allotment, community garden?)

outdoor swimming

lift weights

learn/play an instrument

write, draw, sew, take photos?

cook elaborate delicious things

redecorate

OP im in the same position as you, My childs needs mean i need to be on call at all times and able to just drop everything and get to him which makes working impossible. I volunteer in his school and since they are fully aware of his needs they understand when i cant make it or need to leave early (since they are the ones calling me)

Also in the same position and I do this too. Is that an option for you?

I work for a small charity and can think of several voluntary roles that might suit your situation. Take a look on doit.org or your local CVS to find out what's available.

Or read in your DC's school, join the pta.

Look up chattycafe and see if there's one local to you. You sit at the chattycafe table and others join you if they're also looking for some company.

Go to a gym.

Join a walking group.

See what activities your council organise. Ours does walks, craft classes, yoga groups etc.

It sounds as though an evening or night job could work for you, or something at weekends.