To ask what "outside help" you have?

[Gemma273]

I feel like I'm literally drowning in housework, life, just everything tbh. We have 2 children and zero help whatsoever, my husband and I have juggled WFH (both of us full time) since the pandemic with our now 3 year old and I've just had a baby. I am able to do work at night that allows me lots of time with my dc during the day. I feel like everything just accumulated during this time and I can't get on top of it. Husband is very hands on with housework and kids so no faults there.
All other families we know seems to be nailing it all but my husband pretty much summed it up, all the people I've been thinking about have "outside help" - one friend has her parents come and do breakfast and dressing her 2 kids every single morning to help them out and has them overnight one night every weekend, another has her Gran do all her washing for their full family and she goes there 4 out of 7 nights for dinner. Also most of them have their children in nursery even if they don't work, just to give them a break and all of our friends kids have regular overnight stays with family at least twice a month.

I'm not really sure what I'm hoping to gain from this post but in a way wanted to vent but also to realise it is normal and most people don't have lots of help.

We have no help and have done it all ourselves

Our Roborock is the only outside help we have .. she's amazing !

I don;t have any outside help - our families live too far away. I don't have any other mum friends that don't have any other help at all, I think most people have someone local

Are you saying you both work full time and use no childcare? That's not normal or healthy.

I don't have any help, nor do I have an husband/partner.

I have no help. My mum is elderly & the other grandparents aren’t interested & don’t live close by anyway.

I have 1 DD, a dog & cat & a house to run & I struggle. There aren’t enough hours in the day.

I know more people in my situation than ‘with support’ though.

it’s tough & I don’t have any advice but you’re not alone.

& I am on my own with no partner.

Most people who work have childcare whilst they are working.

My children go to childcare while i'm working, i put washes on etc while i WFH.

Cleaner once a week. No family help but I work term time only which is obviously hugely helpful
for childcare!

We have no help from anyone.
That being said you are working full time when you have just had a baby, that sounds more like the reason you are overwhelmed?

Parents for childcare but the house plus renovations is our responsibility. We have to be organised and have tech to help. We use the little things to make life easier so 5 sets of school uniform go in the washer at the end of the week. DS has two school coats on rotation with a spare older coat as a backup if he's filthy two days running.

With the house our prekind standards have slipped the house is no where near as clean or tidy but it's fine. We've bought a robot hoover that so far seems great even if I'm not sure about the base.

We've talked about a cleaner but I'm the sort of person who would have to clean before she came so no real point. Invest in a steam iron to cut ironing times.

Hello fresh can be great or batch cooking also helps.

Confused - you've just had a baby but you're working full time? I WFH full-time but kids are at school - when they were younger, it was nursery. There's no way I could do both (regardless of any outside help).

Grandparents too far away for day to day help but they have DC in the holidays (and will come for exceptional circs). We use after school club two days a week. Otherwise it’s all us. Two DC, 9 and 6.

If you can out source jobs (and can afford it!) then do!
How can you both work full time and you have no child care (with a baby!)

We have childcare during the working week.
Don’t have any extra childcare outside Mon- Fri nursery hours.
Grandparents babysit approx one evening every few months.

dd is 4 and has slept at grandparents twice in her life so DH and I could go out

Oh and no cleaner or gardener or anything like that

Youngest Dc 3.5 starts preschool in September for 3 days (9-3) & other 3 Dc will be back at school. That’s it for us. Dh works full time, I study part time (full time next month) & sahm since COVID started. No family, no cleaner etc. In our social circle most have family help of nights or weekends of Dc with grandparents and school holidays. A good few have grandparents who do school drop off or pick up and childcare. It’s hard work and knackered, I have bitten my tongue occasionally when they are having a moan about how hard it is.

None but I don't work and we only have 1 child. Family all live far away and we don't have any friends where we live as we moved during the pandemic.
Financially, we get a lot of help.

We have a cleaner every other week for 3 hours and my parents will do ad hoc babysitting. We pay for childcare during the holidays when they're not at school and I'm part time so can do the school runs and after school care.

Still feel there's always loads to do and not enough time!

None and it was bloody hard work at those ages. Our kids are finally old enough that we can leave them alone for an hour and it is amazing to have some time to ourselves. It will get easier.

It sounds like you have a hard situation OP but also I don’t know that many people with as much help as the friends you outlined. It is hard to see others with more help than you though I know. Well done keep going x

We have no help but have low standards, very low 😁😅

I do have Alexa though and she answers my questions sometimes so that's something 😁

I don’t have any “outside (free) help” but I do use nursery (if you consider that help given that it costs £15k a year) - working full time from home and not having any childcare isn’t really feasible (for me at least).