Going back to work 2 weeks after birth?

[Jacklinjane]

I'm 34 and have one child who is coming up to 21 months. LO has a disability and his dad gave up work to take care of him while I returned to my job 3 weeks after having a caesarian section. I work in IT so it's not a physical job. I expressed at work and had a little fridge beside my desk and everything worked.
The plan with the next one is to do the same but after speaking with GP today she's said I'll likely need another section. So I've started making preparations for this and my friend yesterday told me she thinks I'm not being fair on new baby or LO1 by going back to work that soon.
For context, I get a basic wage but I get huge bonuses every month that are almost triple my basic wage. Maternity doesn't scratch what I earn and what my mortgage costs.
My husband would be going back after 2 weeks if he was the one working so why is it not fair that I am? My work are accomodating and no one even minded the loud humming of my breast pump for so many hours in the day! If I'm physically able to go back, why should it matter?

My husband would be going back after 2 weeks if he was the one working so why is it not fair that I am?
To allow your body to physically recover ?

Your husband could go back after 2 weeks because physically nothing changes for him.

For the woman your body has been through a trauma, especially a c section. You can't drive for 6 weeks, you can't even lift anything for first week or so. How will you get to work? Advice after a c section is rest

You do you. Everyone's circumstances are their own. And if it's not good enough for your friends, hell mend them.

Absolutely your choice.

i get the financial aspect and right now more than ever that matters.

After my second C section I would have been able to do this if I wanted. After my first I wouldn't have been well enough, I'd had a PPH and was anaemic, sore and by 2 weeks hadn't been out of hospital long.

Keep an open mind and see how you feel.

It is too soon. Your baby needs to be with you to form a strong attachment and ensure their brain develops properly- that is fact.

It's major abdominal surgery. That's why.

If you're physically and mentally fit to do so and your baby is settled without you, do it.
Might be best not to make any concrete plans until the new baby is here though.

How long is your commute? Personally with even my ‘easy’ birth I’d have needed 4 weeks off to recover. The hard one would never have been able to go back before 6months from a physical point of view.
We’re all different though. If you feel physically and mentally well enough I don’t inherently think there is anything bad about a baby being left with who will be their primary carer and other parent.
But could you check the SMP rules. Mat pay in the first 6 weeks might be based on an average of your pay? If you could take 6 weeks that would be great (and I would say the same to a dad).

Your company should be doing a risk assessment at the very least otherwise it could negate their insurance for employer liability.

Think about a couple of things. How you were after first CS doesn’t mean the 2nd will be the same. I know that form experience- so don’t commit

Remember your body needs to recover not just form birth but form the job of growing that baby and then feeding it with your expressed milk. Every ounce or mg of that baby has come form your body. Your bones have demineralised, your hormones have been doing things for 9 months that need to get back into a different pattern, all your ligaments have weakened. Very thing that baby has needed to grow from 2 cells to a 7lb baby and then 30lb at end of breastfeeding has come entirely form your body- there’s no magic involved. All your anatomy y has been wired to direct your energy and reserves into building that babies anatomy. Please don’t underestimate that.

many of side effects of c section don’t show for years. We still get issues with pelvic floor, we get adhesions, we get issues with back pain - my spine is now actually twisted slightly due to adhesions and causes me sciatica- it’s 29 years later and floors me during an attic. I have been told by countless physios that I should have been doing specific physio exercises for months after - but that wasn’t something people were told about in those days- more “you’re alive, the babies well , so everything was successful”. You must ensure you have time and space in your life to focus on this and not just work and then looking after the baby.

If I was in your situation I would be looking at phased return ..gradually increasing hours but ensuring I carved out time for my own healing as well.

If you feel up to it physically and mentally then it's up to you.

Its none of your friends business.

I would give it at least 6 weeks, I’ve had three and while I recovered really quickly and easily with my first my next two were much harder and doing too much too soon will hinder your recovery. DH would go back after two weeks because he hasn’t physically been through pregnancy and birth so doesn’t need to recover from that.

That should say I’ve had three c sections

I had my second section 8 weeks ago and it was an absolute breeze. I was back driving 10 days PP (total myth you can't drive for six weeks!) and 90% normal by 2 weeks, so I could absolutely have done that this time if it was just sitting at a desk doing work and I wasn't having to do any childcare. My first section was harder, I guess cos it was an emergency.

Can you see how it goes and make a decision then? If you have the same experience I did I think you'll be absolutely fine, although of course everyone's experience is different.

I also felt so much physically better the day after giving birth than the last few weeks of pregnancy too!

I had a C section and was fine at 2 weeks but just see how you feel.

I understand the financial pressure, I'm a single mum also in the IT industry. Can you leave it open with your company? Say what your plan is but give them a best and worse case?

My first spent enough time with me and had plenty of time with his dad, our bond is still great and his brains doing fine.

A cousin of mine went back after 2 weeks, she is a GP and her husband is a SAHD. Do whatever works for you.

I think you have to see how you are after the birth. It's the recovering from surgery aspect that is most important, but of course with birth there's a load of extra hormones added into the mix. I did go back 2 weeks after my second baby, but with hindsight it would have been better if I could have taken off longer to recover.

It's your choice...in the US you'd probably be forced to...but I personally wouldn't want to. Way too soon for a newborn to be without both parents imo. Who looked after your baby last time - would this baby be with them too?

OP, I was going to say ignore this comment but it looks like you already shut it down. Good. You clearly said in your OP that your husband is a stay at home dad. What is important for the baby’s brain is that they form an attachment and feeling of safety with a primary caregiver - it does not need to be the mother, or the child’s birth mother. Statements like this are what make adoptive mothers worry they’re never enough and terrorize women who live in societies like the US, which have no paid maternity leave by law, so they must work like you are planning to.

If anything, yes, I would be more concerned about the toll on your physical health. Is it possible that you could have a plan for hybrid-working or WFH (with a home office separated from your children, since your husband is there and confident to handle the children, I assume it would not be an issue like others trying to work from home alone with a baby?) if you don’t feel well enough for the normal office in two weeks? Often IT has a bit more leeway for this, especially if planned ahead.

Returning to work two weeks post-partum is completely normal in the US. I don't think its a situation women should be forced in to, but if you are happy with it being the right choice for your family and you are feeling physically ready, then go for it.

Looking after a toddler and a baby isn't a walk in the park either, physically speaking. Personally i think it would have been physically easier for me to be at work (desk job) than to be on maternity leave looking after multiple children once my DH went back after his paternity leave.

If you're in a country where that's legally allowed (in mine they wouldn't be allowed to let you work yet), why not. It is what it is, your child has a caregiver and there's no shame in needing money to look after your family.

Your body, baby and choice. Do whatever’s right for you however I recently had an elective section and they say 6 weeks recovery for a reason. Can you allow for 6 weeks but if you feel up to it go back sooner? I was out and about after a couple of days but the more I did the more discomfort (not really pain) I experienced. Baby’s almost 12 weeks and in the last 2/3 weeks I’ve strangely felt very motivated when it comes to work and even though I’m taking 12 months plus leave I’m spending a bit of time when he’s asleep putting ideas down on paper, though it may be different if I had to!

Was about to say no until I read your post. That baby is loved and cared for. As long as you feel fine.

I did take a bit longer to recover with my second c section.