Page 5 | Going back to work 2 weeks after birth?

SlagathaChristie · 14/08/2022 14:50

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 14/08/2022 12:58

newborns need their mums ideally- so I wouldn’t choose to be away- obviously if the other option was no money then yes it’s better to work. But I agree a newborn needs it’s mum at home for longer than 2 wks.

Completely agree with this. 4th trimester and all that.

calmlakes · 14/08/2022 14:50

It is very odd that every other type of major abdominal surgery would have more than two weeks sick leave.

Your husband returning to work after you have been pregnant and given birth is neither here nor there.

Work out what works for you but I wouldn't copy the USA and I live there.

PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 14:51

Janedoe82 · 14/08/2022 14:48

parentinfantfoundation.org.uk/why-we-do-it/building-babies-brains/

Breastfeeding optimises baby brain development and attachment. Men can’t do it.

I 100% promise I am not deliberately being mean- I went back to work with my eldest when she was very young- 5 days a week and it is a huge regret now that I know the science around attachment. You can’t get the time back.

Neither can many women

Stop spouting shit

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 14/08/2022 14:53

Janedoe82 · 14/08/2022 14:48

parentinfantfoundation.org.uk/why-we-do-it/building-babies-brains/

Breastfeeding optimises baby brain development and attachment. Men can’t do it.

I 100% promise I am not deliberately being mean- I went back to work with my eldest when she was very young- 5 days a week and it is a huge regret now that I know the science around attachment. You can’t get the time back.

That talks about parents in general. And up to 3 years old. Not that a parent must stay at home all the time to have a bond with their child.

luxxlisbon · 14/08/2022 14:54

Janedoe82 · 14/08/2022 14:48

parentinfantfoundation.org.uk/why-we-do-it/building-babies-brains/

Breastfeeding optimises baby brain development and attachment. Men can’t do it.

I 100% promise I am not deliberately being mean- I went back to work with my eldest when she was very young- 5 days a week and it is a huge regret now that I know the science around attachment. You can’t get the time back.

So 75% of the uk population have a poorly developed brain since less than a quarter are breastfeeding by even 6 weeks?

Babies need a primary caregiver to love, nurture and attend to their needs. They won’t know the difference between that being a mum, a dad, a granny or a bloody monkey.

The fact is most women in the Uk don’t breastfeed and their babies are just as developed and loved as the small minority who do breastfeed.

Janedoe82 · 14/08/2022 14:57

Look- no body wants to leave their new born ideally.
I 100% stand by my comments that babies ideally need to be with their mothers for longer than two weeks.

This fact isn’t changed because of societal pressures forcing them back to work.

I work in the field and have worked with children who have been in care and who did not have a strong neurological attachment to the mother from birth. It causes life long problems.

Sunnyqueen · 14/08/2022 14:57

I mean I'd rather be poor and with my baby personally. I think it's quite sad that your in this position... I'd rather dad goes back to work for the first 6 months at least.

PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 15:00

Janedoe82 · 14/08/2022 14:57

Look- no body wants to leave their new born ideally.
I 100% stand by my comments that babies ideally need to be with their mothers for longer than two weeks.

This fact isn’t changed because of societal pressures forcing them back to work.

I work in the field and have worked with children who have been in care and who did not have a strong neurological attachment to the mother from birth. It causes life long problems.

Children in care have attachment issues due to attachments being broken.

You may stand by your view but they're not backed up by anything you've posted in the attempt to give your opinions validity.

A child needs a primary care giver. It doesn't matter the sex of that care giver, or even if they're related - hence attachment issues being not seen in foster to adopt placements.

PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 15:00

Sunnyqueen · 14/08/2022 14:57

I mean I'd rather be poor and with my baby personally. I think it's quite sad that your in this position... I'd rather dad goes back to work for the first 6 months at least.

Do you think it's sad for men going back to work after 2 weeks with a SAHM ready to take care of the baby?

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 14/08/2022 15:04

Janedoe82 · 14/08/2022 14:57

Look- no body wants to leave their new born ideally.
I 100% stand by my comments that babies ideally need to be with their mothers for longer than two weeks.

This fact isn’t changed because of societal pressures forcing them back to work.

I work in the field and have worked with children who have been in care and who did not have a strong neurological attachment to the mother from birth. It causes life long problems.

So please show studies to back up the claims you are making.

Janedoe82 · 14/08/2022 15:05

Attachment issues not being seen in foster to adopt placements??? Are you for real??
wise up.

PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 15:06

Janedoe82 · 14/08/2022 15:05

Attachment issues not being seen in foster to adopt placements??? Are you for real??
wise up.

They're not

Since the primary attachment is being formed with their future primary care givers.

You don't seem very clued up on the issues you're bringing up to validate your opinions

It's quite well known that attachment issues in care are down to broken attachments, not lack of forming them in the first place. Which is what you are discussing.

lillg · 14/08/2022 15:07

Sorry if it's already been said, I've not read the whole thread. I'm pretty sure maternity leave is calculated at 90% of your pay for the first 6 weeks and that is worked out using the previous 3 month's pay, including your bonus....so you shouldn't be much worse off financially if you were to take 6 weeks off.
Money is only one aspect of the decision though. Do what feels right for you any your family. I took 4 months off and my husband is now taking the remaining 8 as shared parental leave. I'm in the lucky position that I can work from home half of the time though, so am feeding between meetings etc.

Janedoe82 · 14/08/2022 15:17

Pollyrockets you are incorrect. Attachment starts from the womb.

MajorCarolDanvers · 14/08/2022 15:18

I couldn't manage a trip to Tesco's 2 weeks after my second section never mind going back to work.

It's about time for you to physically recover.

MajorCarolDanvers · 14/08/2022 15:18

Janedoe82 · 14/08/2022 10:54

It is too soon. Your baby needs to be with you to form a strong attachment and ensure their brain develops properly- that is fact.

Dad will be caring for baby.

Topgub · 14/08/2022 15:19

@Louise0701

I didnt say you said anything.

I asked you a question

When is it suitable for a parent to back to work in your opinion?

PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 15:19

Janedoe82 · 14/08/2022 15:17

Pollyrockets you are incorrect. Attachment starts from the womb.

It really doesn't

Maybe read up on bowlby and ainsworth and get an actual understanding around attachment theory.

You're talking from your backside, have provided one link which doesn't even say what you think it does and are just perpetuating the same lies.

Sallyh87 · 14/08/2022 15:20

Janedoe82 · 14/08/2022 14:48

parentinfantfoundation.org.uk/why-we-do-it/building-babies-brains/

Breastfeeding optimises baby brain development and attachment. Men can’t do it.

I 100% promise I am not deliberately being mean- I went back to work with my eldest when she was very young- 5 days a week and it is a huge regret now that I know the science around attachment. You can’t get the time back.

So all those women who were unable to breast feed, I assume their babies brains were poorly developed? As someone who was unable (due to having to take medicine to prevent blood clots), I find this deeply offensive. And also I think it is complete rubbish as my 2 year old is incredibly advanced and clever . Potentially PFB symdrone but I’m okay with that 😂

PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 15:20

MajorCarolDanvers · 14/08/2022 15:18

I couldn't manage a trip to Tesco's 2 weeks after my second section never mind going back to work.

It's about time for you to physically recover.

The OP has already successfully returned to work 3 weeks after her last section...

Amichelle84 · 14/08/2022 15:20

Why is it likely you will need another section? Did they say? Just because you had one doesn't mean you have to have another.

I had a section with my 1st and a natural with my 2nd 14months later.

DancingBeanstalk · 14/08/2022 15:22

Jacklinjane · 14/08/2022 11:59

But my friend wasn't concerned about my physical health, I understand the worry there. She is saying it's not fair on my children.

Show quote history

Because it isn’t. You can’t properly bond with your child regardless of how much you protest that you can.

They need you… and when they’re newborn you’ve chosen to work instead of being there for them and being their safe space.

You're being very selfish.

MajorCarolDanvers · 14/08/2022 15:23

@PollyRockets I was describing my experience. Not the OPs.

Revolvingwhore · 14/08/2022 15:24

Jacklinjane · 14/08/2022 10:46

I'm 34 and have one child who is coming up to 21 months. LO has a disability and his dad gave up work to take care of him while I returned to my job 3 weeks after having a caesarian section. I work in IT so it's not a physical job. I expressed at work and had a little fridge beside my desk and everything worked.
The plan with the next one is to do the same but after speaking with GP today she's said I'll likely need another section. So I've started making preparations for this and my friend yesterday told me she thinks I'm not being fair on new baby or LO1 by going back to work that soon.
For context, I get a basic wage but I get huge bonuses every month that are almost triple my basic wage. Maternity doesn't scratch what I earn and what my mortgage costs.
My husband would be going back after 2 weeks if he was the one working so why is it not fair that I am? My work are accomodating and no one even minded the loud humming of my breast pump for so many hours in the day! If I'm physically able to go back, why should it matter?

Sure - just leave it under a bridge. Why bother having kids? How depressing.

Janedoe82 · 14/08/2022 15:26

Sallyh87 The key is in the word ‘optimises’.

Pollypockets- I have worked with many kinship carers who have had babies from birth. The children still have attachment issues despite having a primary carer.

I appreciate what I am saying is not what people want to hear but that doesn’t change the fact that babies thrive BEST when with their mother, ideally being breast fed.

That doesn’t mean that all children who don’t experience that start do badly, it is what is statistically shown to have the BEST outcomes for babies.