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Daughter hates her name wants to change it.
222

Laurenw16 · 21/06/2022 02:27

my 13 year old daughter keeps expressing to me how she dosent like her name which is “Elizabeth” I neve imagined her ever saying this because i purposely picked the name Elizabeth to avoid this happening, it was a name I knew thought she would be happy with, it’s a classic no nonsense name. In her eyes she says it’s old fashioned and “no one her age is called it” she probably thinks that because of the queen. She wants to change her name to a popular name when she was born she suggested Emily because according to her “it’s the most pops your name in my generation and it’s cool”. I’m just not sure what to do it’s really upsetting her feeling like she’s embarrassed of her name, to be honest I’m more upset because Elizabeth is such a timeless name I never thought she would even want to change it. She will probably get over it when she’s older and gets passed the teen stage. What should I do?? Should I let her change her name or just make her carry on with having a name she hates

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

LateAF · 21/06/2022 02:31

Let her change it and keep Elizabeth as a middle name. That way when she’s older she can choose if she wants to start using Elizabeth again.

Elizabeth is an older name - diminutives such as Lizzie or Eliza would have been more timeless but less “old”.

I changed my name when I was 4 to my middle name and one of my siblings changed their name at 8. Both of us haven’t regretted it and we’re both glad our parents supported that decision without fuss.

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romdowa · 21/06/2022 02:32

With so many nicknames for Elizabeth, I'd encourage her to maybe explore them first before going down the route of changing her name entirely.

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LookAtThatCritter · 21/06/2022 02:37

I’d let her be called whatever she wants, but definitely no legal changes until she’s 18 and has used the new chosen name for a few years. At this age she’s just exploring who she wants to be and no one should keep a name they didn’t get a choice in just because their parents like/chose it (that’s just my opinion though, obviously everyone has different parenting styles and I’m not saying anyone else’s differing opinion is wrong!).

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TheGirlOnTheDragon · 21/06/2022 02:49

Why can't she jusy use Emily as a nickname? Many people are known by names that are not their full name.

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Whitewolf2 · 21/06/2022 02:49

As others have said has she seriously looked at all the possible different shortenings of Elizabeth? Beth, Eliza, Liz, Ellie - to me Ellie is similar to Emily!

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Topseyt123 · 21/06/2022 02:54

I'd maybe consider letting her add Emily as a middle name.

In reality though, I would probably try hard to steer her towards considering one of the many shortenings of Elizabeth. Liz, Lizzy, Libby, Beth, Bethany, Betty, Bett. Bettany.

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lugeforlife · 21/06/2022 02:57

Fwiw I love the name and would have used it except it's my cousins name. I wanted a Beth.

Is there really no shortening she could pick - Libby, or Ellie like a pp suggested? My dds are that age and both have an absolute ton of friends in the Ella/Ellie neck of the woods (only one Emily though).

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FlissyPaps · 21/06/2022 02:58

Aw OP this must be so hard to hear. And I can understand you feeling torn between keeping her name as the one you chose and her changing in.

I agree with PPs to encourage her to use Emily as a nickname. Or any nicknames of Elizabeth - Liz, Lizzie, Libby, Lilly, Elle, Ellie, Beth, Belle

My name (begins with A and is actually one of the Queens middle names), I hated it as a child. It felt very old fashioned and too long. But now as an adult I love it, and I get called so many different nicknames from it. Your daughter might feel the same. She may hate it as a child, but grow to love it as she gets older.

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Marvellousmadness · 21/06/2022 02:58

Imagine being a teen. And your name is "elizabeth".
Your Name would be like a grandma name
No wonder she hates it.
Let her choose what she wants
Maybe shell go back to the name 'Elizabeth ' when she is older

But yeah i wouldnt wanna be a teenager with a grandma name either

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GeorgiaGirl52 · 21/06/2022 03:03

Emily Elizabeth has a nice flow.
You are so right about Elizabeth. It is Ellie, Eliza, Liza, Liz, Lizzy, Lizabeth, Beth. Bethy, and even Bethel at a stretch.

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Luredbyapomegranate · 21/06/2022 03:08

Marvellousmadness

Imagine being a teen. And your name is "elizabeth".
Your Name would be like a grandma name
No wonder she hates it.
Let her choose what she wants
Maybe shell go back to the name 'Elizabeth ' when she is older

But yeah i wouldnt wanna be a teenager with a grandma name either

Elizabeth is a pretty popular name right now. if it’s too formal try a shortening

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Fleur405 · 21/06/2022 03:09

Soooooo many nicknames to chose from with Elizabeth. I have an unusual names as my dad is not British. I also went through a spell of hating it when I was young but grew to love.

I’d encourage her to chose a nickname she likes but keep her actual name.

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Remaker · 21/06/2022 03:12

You made a good choice which has loads of nickname options. If she wanted an unusual or out-there name then I can see the point in changing. But if she’d be happy with Emily then why not Ellie or Ella? I know an Elizabeth who changed at that age and she’s now 30 and still known as Ella.

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Peakypolly · 21/06/2022 03:14

I know two teens called Elizabeth - one is known as Lil and the other as Beth - and a tween known as Libby. It is a classic name and your DD has so many options to make it her own.
I would discourage an official name change at 13 but she can always do so when an adult.

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CatsandDogs22 · 21/06/2022 03:14

There are so many nickname options before jumping to a drastic change like that.
Especially at 13 and l her choice being “because it’s popular” - that’s not a well thought out reason. Has she thought about being called Emily H/ Emily G/Big Emily/Short Emily/ Emily who used to be Elizabeth - for the rest of her life?


I work with an Elizabeth who goes by Lil. Lilla is also a diminutive of it plus all the obvious ones.

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sashh · 21/06/2022 03:33

I don't see why she can't use Emily as a nick name.

Perhaps one of the diminutives of Elizabeth or a foreign version like Isobel.

What about Libby? Buffy?

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Daphnethefox · 21/06/2022 03:56

Yabu
I'm 28 and I remember always hating my name when I was growing up as it was unusual at that time. (Ruby May)
I remember being soooo angry at my mum for not giving me a popular name like Jessica or Bethany.
Now I'm older I think my name suits me and I'm pleased I was never given a say in changing it.

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HoppingPavlova · 21/06/2022 04:00

Let her call herself whatever she wants and if she wants to change officially at 18yo then she can do so. It makes sure it’s not a fad and the new name she has picked doesn’t also fall out of favour.

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Alwayspaintyournails · 21/06/2022 04:01

I know SIX Elizabeths

2 x Liz (68 and 67)
2 x Libby (9 and 41)
1 Beth (17)
1 Elle (2) who is named after her grandmother

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Joystir59 · 21/06/2022 04:04

Let her change her name to something she likes.

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nettie434 · 21/06/2022 04:16

Lots of people use a different name to their given one. I'd let your daughter ask people to call her Emily without needing to change it officially. It's even possible these conversations might change her view of Elizabeth if other people tell her how much they like it.

Some people like having an unusual name. Others feel very self conscious. Emily has been a fairly popular name for the last 30 years or so whereas Elizabeth has become less commonplace.

There's not much you can do in the long term as people can change their name by deed poll once they are 16. From your point of view, it's probably better that she doesn't change her name officially and has the option of switching back to Elizabeth or a diminutive at a later date if she wishes without needing to change any official documentation. This is more likely to happen if she can call herself what she wants without making a thing of it.

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WarmBeerAndSandwiches · 21/06/2022 04:31

In Skins Effie was actually called Elizabeth. I’ve always though Effie was lovely and it’s quite ‘cool’ - perhaps she could consider it as a nickname.

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Blueeyedgirl21 · 21/06/2022 04:36

Have you insisted on no nicknames? I know lots of youngster Elizabeth’s - they’re all Lizzy, Beth, Betsy, even an Elle and a Bess.

seems weird she uses the long form at all?!

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ohmygloshes · 21/06/2022 04:36

Elisabeth is an old fashioned name for this age. I agree that there are lots of shortened versions she could choose from. Fitting in as a teen is hard. I'd let her be called what ever she likes.

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MissedItByThisMuch · 21/06/2022 04:59

I’m in Australia not the UK but my 4 teens/early 20s kids all have/had at least one (and in one case 4!) Elizabeths in their school year. I also know multiple younger and slightly older Elizabeths. So I wouldn’t say it’s old-fashioned or uncommon. But her feelings are her feelings. I’d do like pps suggest and let her call herself Emily but not officially change, or encourage her to explore more popular/modern nicknames - Elle/Ellie/Ella springs to mind. She’s quite likely to end up loving her beautiful, versatile, classic name in the future.

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