Daughter hates her name wants to change it.

[Laurenw16]

my 13 year old daughter keeps expressing to me how she dosent like her name which is “Elizabeth” I neve imagined her ever saying this because i purposely picked the name Elizabeth to avoid this happening, it was a name I knew thought she would be happy with, it’s a classic no nonsense name. In her eyes she says it’s old fashioned and “no one her age is called it” she probably thinks that because of the queen. She wants to change her name to a popular name when she was born she suggested Emily because according to her “it’s the most pops your name in my generation and it’s cool”. I’m just not sure what to do it’s really upsetting her feeling like she’s embarrassed of her name, to be honest I’m more upset because Elizabeth is such a timeless name I never thought she would even want to change it. She will probably get over it when she’s older and gets passed the teen stage. What should I do?? Should I let her change her name or just make her carry on with having a name she hates

It's something children should not change but respect because it is a gift of love from their parents.

Even if that gift is Bertha or Doris? I'd like a gift receipt please.

Tend to agree

I'd rather be an Elizabeth than one of the thousands of Olivia, Ella, Ellie Sophia, Ava, Eve and Emily, etc be unique & proud. The girls with the popular names have to work at making themselves unique to all the others.

100 % love unique names.

I know an young cool Elizabeth that is Betsy. Lovely

Classic reason why having alternative middle name(s) is a good idea. Elizabeth has so many diminutives that it's a really great name to have.

I don't think it's that old fashioned.

I know an Elizabeth of about your DD age, she goes by Libby.
I also work with 3 Elizabeths:
One goes by Liz, one by Liz or Lizzie and the other is Elisabeth. They are all in their 40s or 50s.
I also have another good friend who was Lizzy as a teenager and is now Liz and another who goes by Beth.

I think Elizabeth is a lovely name with so many variations. I love Eliza too.

First off, no judgement here. I put a lot of thought into my son's name. When he got old enough he changed his name. I was not upset.I tried to simplify it for myself; If I bought a shirt for him that I loved I would not expect him to wear it just because it pleases me. Your daughters name is a large part of her identity, if she doesn't like it should she have to keep it? I still call my son by the nickname he had growing up, and he's good with it. When we're meeting new people I use his legal name. Good luck to you!

I think you need to think about the big picture and about the message you could be sending her that her wishes (consent) doesn't matter.

My mom named me Jimmie and I hated it growing up. She thought Jimmie Lynne was a cute name for a girl. The kids at school didn't agree. Neither did I as a child... Now I rather like my name. It's original. I've never met another woman named Jimmie. Though I do sometimes wish that I didn't have to have a conversation about how I got my name EVERY SINGLE TIME I MEET A NEW PERSON.

In middle school I used the name J-Lynne. My mother wouldn't let me use just my middle name.
I did eventually go back to using Jimmie in high school, but my grandmother on my father's side, who also hated the name Jimmie, continued to call me J-Lynne for the rest of her life despite my repeated requests for her to stop.

A person's name is deeply personal, but it's also something we don't choose for ourselves. Our name is a gift given to us by our parents. Unless her name conflicts in some way with her core identity, my advice is to call her whatever she wants to be called, but tell her she can change her name legally once she's an adult.
If I had legally changed my name when I was her age, I would have regretted it.

Why? Was there someone famous called Margaret who was really horrible?

I can understand why you might not want to be called Myra, for example - I probably would have changed my name or used my middle name!

I was being teased mercilessly back then for being called Beth? Why? Because of Little Women? Why would it be teaseworthy?

I don't remember people being teased about their names when I was at school although someone with the surname Hart said he got called Farty Harty...

You can, but only by deed poll. Parents can't change it after a year after your birth (or maybe birth registration).

I got bullied in school about my middle name why? I think I am missing something major here about the name Margaret.

@Laurenw16

Elizabeth is no more 'old fashioned' than Emily. She is being silly. I wouldn't let her change it, she will regret it. Elizabeth is a lovely name, and you can get so much mileage out of it. As has been said, so many different names can come from it. Liz, Lizzie. Beth, Eliza, Ellie etc etc.

LOADS of people hate their name when they're kids. I hated mine. Mine is verrrrrrry unusual, and I sooo wanted to change it as a kid (well, probably from about 8 y.o to 16 ish...) SO glad I didn't now. Everyone comments how lovely it is, and how they would love to have such an unusual name!

Why? Was there someone famous called Margaret who was really horrible?

Have you really never heard of Margaret Thatcher or are you a fan of hers so don't think she was horrible?

Apologies if the former rather than the latter!

@Dillydollydingdong

I was taught at law school that you can't change your first name. Why doesn't she just adopt a nickname? Lizzo is current.

That's really cringe It would be like someone being called Wendy, and saying 'ya know what people can call me Whitney,' or someone being called Beatrice and telling people to call her Beyonce. Just no. Lizzie yeah, not Lizzo!

Oh For fucks sake. SO NO-ONE must EVER be called Margaret again, 'because Thatcher!' Grow up.

@Dillydollydingdong

I was taught at law school that you can't change your first name.

Eh? Of course you can as soon as you're 18:

In the U.K. you can change your name (or your child’s name) at any time.
Changing your name is a legal matter, which means there isn’t an “official” place where you go to register a change of name. In law, you can simply adopt a new name and start using it.
But you’ll need a deed polll* (or some other kind of formal document) to update your passport, driving licence, bank accounts, and other official records to be in your new name.

@PurpleButterflyWings

Jesus, calm down!

The poster specifically said it would have been tough having the name in the eighties (quote below) and I assumed that was why as Thatcher was in office then!

Having Margaret as a first or middle name must have been hell in the 1980s, to be fair.

I don't think it's the case any more and Maggie is a really lovely name, as it happens 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think it's a really old fashioned name too and I always have & I'm 60! Nickname is the way to go as anything she chooses at 13 she won't like later probably.

Elizabeth is a nice name ... Not really 'yooneek' though is it?

Another nickname that I only very recently learned about is Lolly. It's typically a diminutive of Laura or Lauren, but it can also be a diminutive of Elizabeth.

That said, if this continues for a year or so, and her wish continues to be for the same name, then let her change it. By then, you'd know it's not just a phase.

My name is Elizabeth and I went through the same thing as a teenager. My mom just told me it isn't that simple but told me that I would literally have to fill out paperwork with government agencies, schools, medical offices,etc to update records and wait to get the updated necessary paperwork (birth certificate, ss# card, medical records,etc)..so I just went through a variety of nicknames. I grew out of it. I had a different nickname for each teacher every year (multiple teachers in Jr High and HS). It really confused my mom. Lizzie being one of them and is actually on my HS diploma (I regret that one at my HS graduation). But I'm 33 now and now friends refer me to as QueenElizabeth as that is my gamer tag. I would explain what comes with name changes and say, if
you feel this way (after the age it no longer it takes parents consent), you can change it and deal with the headache that comes along with it.