Daughter hates her name wants to change it.

[Laurenw16]

my 13 year old daughter keeps expressing to me how she dosent like her name which is “Elizabeth” I neve imagined her ever saying this because i purposely picked the name Elizabeth to avoid this happening, it was a name I knew thought she would be happy with, it’s a classic no nonsense name. In her eyes she says it’s old fashioned and “no one her age is called it” she probably thinks that because of the queen. She wants to change her name to a popular name when she was born she suggested Emily because according to her “it’s the most pops your name in my generation and it’s cool”. I’m just not sure what to do it’s really upsetting her feeling like she’s embarrassed of her name, to be honest I’m more upset because Elizabeth is such a timeless name I never thought she would even want to change it. She will probably get over it when she’s older and gets passed the teen stage. What should I do?? Should I let her change her name or just make her carry on with having a name she hates

Kids these days are changing their names more often than ever. No one is going to blink an eye at an Elizabeth becoming an Emily. Not when they’re choosing names like Sparrow, Sirius, Vole, Ash, Castor, Moss, Rainbowstar and suchlike. Amongst my teen DC it’s almost every month that a friend is changing their name- and yes the ones listed above are actual name changes. I’d be happy my DD chose a normal name instead of choosing one like the ones above.

I don’t blame her.. it’s to me the name of an old person. However, maybe she would try Ellie, Ella, Liz, Lizzy, Beth or Betsy? A lot more trendy and she might prefer?

I know a few Liz' - one in her 60s, one in her 30s and one in her 20s.

I'm in my 50s. I have an "old fashioned " name. Which is only used by work colleagues, people I have no intention of getting to know well or officials. Growing up it was used by teachers or my parents only when angry with me. I'm known by another name to family and close friends. My Mum gave it to me when I was a baby. People who I didn't intend to get to know well but who I now know well use both.
It works out fine.

I agree with @Singleandproud why are you pandering to your 13yo? So she hates her name? A lot of children do at that age. It’s what they do. But they get through that stage. If she still hates it by the time she’s an adult, then crack on and change it then.

I went through a stage of envying my classmates names and I am so glad my mum wouldn’t entertain my desire to be called a particular name. (Which I can see now is an awful name which hasn’t aged well). Elizabeth has many variations if she can choose one for a shorter nickname?

I wouldn’t let her change it until she’s 18. She can use one of the many shortened versions, or be known as something completely different.

Izzy, Lizzy, Beth, Eliza, Betty, Bet, Liza... so many short names within it. Does she not like any?

Elizabeth is a beautiful name. Much more interesting than boring old Emily, which is also a ‘grandma’ name!

I would let her be a "known as" for a while to see how it sits with her, whether she uses it etc. Both my children have had children in their classes that have changed their names several times over so I am sure the parents are pleased they didn't go down the legal route. However, I would lay out the shortened versions of Elizabeth so she can see if she likes any of those.

I do think with the Jubilee that the name Elizabeth has very much been brought up daily but I wonder if she is bowing to peers telling her that her name is old fashioned. It isn't, according to ONS it is still in the top 100 for 2020.

Depending on when she turns 16 if her name does need to be changed legally, consider her GCSE certificates. My name was changed but I disliked it from being around 4 or 5 years old and had the full backing of my parents.

I love the name Elizabeth and know lots of teens with the name, some who use nicknames and some who don’t. It’s not an “old lady” name- it’s popular in all age groups.

That said, no issue with Her wanting to be know as another name. I suspect it will last about 6 months then she’ll be back to Elizabeth or whatever her preferred abbreviation is.

So I’d be fairly relaxed about an informal change. Don’t do anything about her legal name until she’s old enough to do it herself.

Hi @Laurenw16

I’m a former Elizabeth, hated my name and changed it when I started university and could have a fresh start.

When I was at school there were multiple other Elizabeth’s, and I hated it. I hated all the diminutive forms of Elizabeth and my friends called me Lizzy or Liz which I loathed. My brother had a beautiful name, french and unusual ( with two lovely middle names that just rolled off the tongue) and I hated my plain Jane name in comparison (with one middle name that was just an ugly male surname of a lost line of the family) .

I love the new name I chose for myself. It has the same first letter as Elizabeth so my initials are the same, but I get compliments on my new name all the time.

However, my mum and older friends and family still call me by my old name. I don’t mind and I don’t ask them to call me by my new one as I don’t actually care, the majority of people know me by my new name, and it’s funny, what name people call me dates how long people have known me.

now I’m pregnant I feel bad for mum that I changed it, because I know I’m deliberating on names myself and I’d be hurt if they (the little bean) chose to change it. But I had to do what feels right for me, and I feel moving through the world that my name suits my personality.

I’d say she can change it but not legally. I’d also say she waits till she is older to choose something, because lord knows what I’d have picked at high school would not be the beautiful name I ended up picking at 21 when I had a better sense of myself.

I’m sorry you feel hurt and confused, I would too, but listen to your daughter. Sometimes children grown into their names and sometimes they just aren’t the right fit. Update us with what you decide.

Let her change her name. Why not? I know you chose it for her but she is becoming her own person, let her call herself whatever she likes.

I changed my own name when I was 17, it's easy to do if you are in the UK, the law allows it unless you are doing so to commit fraud. In my case I went to a solicitor and had a legal document drawn up, it's called a Statutory Change of Name for a first name (Deed Poll is only for surnames and is more complicated). I just signed in my old name and then in my new name and have been my new name ever since....

However, there is no need to go that far if your daughter doesn't want to, she can just choose to be known by another name if she prefers. You would do a great deal to boost her self esteem if you went along with her wishes. It may be after a while she gets tired of the new name or it may be that she keeps it all her life, that's surely her choice? Why would you force her to stay with a name she hates?

Does she want a common name so she will “fit in”? Is she otherwise unhappy at school? I wouldn’t let her change her name, but there are LOADS of nicknames for Elizabeth e.g. Lizzie, Liz, Beth, Izzy, Libby, Eliza.

sooooo many nicknames for Elizabeth and you can get away with spelling them however you like and even make them up so long as they are vaguely related…
Ella
Etta
lily
bella
izzi
lizi
elsa
eliza
betsy
beth
Elsbet
lilibet
libby

I saw my first mention of Elizabeth on the baby names thread recently so I wouldn't be surprised if it was due a comeback.
www.mumsnet.com/talk/baby_names/4567643-elizabeth-or-rose
Though it was a family name.
I would have thought she could have come up with a gaming type short variation of it - Theba, Leees, Zab, Elle, Ellees you can probably guess I know nothing about gaming names
My grandma was Emily. Things come round again.

There is also Bethan (Welsh).

I'd encourage Elle, Ellie, Ella, Eliza, Liz, Liza, Lizzy, Libby, Betty, Betsy, Bets, Beth. You could even work Lily really

Effie also a shortening of Elizabeth

I do find it odd that Betty is popular at at the mo - to me that really is an old-lady name. And it sounds fat! (To me, anyway.)

Whereas Elizabeth IMO is a timeless classic, with so many short versions, if wanted.

(Can you tell I’m biased?)

I think I'd try to find a nickname/shortening for Elizabeth if possible.

I'm nearly 60 & have always thought of it as a dreadfully old fashioned name for anyone of my age to be called let alone anyone younger!

I would let her change it. It’s her life after all. Presumably you’ve already explored all the nickname options for her and she’s not keen on those either. The name she’s chosen is a sensible normal name, it’s not like she’s gone for a weird celebrity name. If she changes it now rather than later all her academic certificates will be in her chosen name which will make it easier for her in the future. And like others have said, she can keep Elizabeth as a middle name, in fact you could make that a condition of letting her change it.

Let her change it. I hate my name and wasn’t allowed to change it and then it seemed too late by the time I was 18. Stuck with it now.

Is it really necessary to do it officially though? I guess if she really wants to she should get on and do it, as it will be more complicated once she's done her GCSEs and has a paper trail attached to her birth given name.

Trinny Woodall is officially 'Sarah-Jane' but clearly has been known by her nickname since she was a schoolgirl.

Not really relevant but I know of sisters called Eliza and Betsy. Umm, aren’t they the same name?

Yeah I would also go for the nickname thing.
elle, Ellie, Bethie or Libby maybe?