Daughter hates her name wants to change it.

[Laurenw16]

my 13 year old daughter keeps expressing to me how she dosent like her name which is “Elizabeth” I neve imagined her ever saying this because i purposely picked the name Elizabeth to avoid this happening, it was a name I knew thought she would be happy with, it’s a classic no nonsense name. In her eyes she says it’s old fashioned and “no one her age is called it” she probably thinks that because of the queen. She wants to change her name to a popular name when she was born she suggested Emily because according to her “it’s the most pops your name in my generation and it’s cool”. I’m just not sure what to do it’s really upsetting her feeling like she’s embarrassed of her name, to be honest I’m more upset because Elizabeth is such a timeless name I never thought she would even want to change it. She will probably get over it when she’s older and gets passed the teen stage. What should I do?? Should I let her change her name or just make her carry on with having a name she hates

I think it's a great name and there are so many other options you can use from it like others have said.

As for it being old-fashioned, loads of small girls are called names now which I associate with my great-aunt's generation. Examples include names like Florence, Ivy, Elsie and Ada. By the way one of the top names is Eliza, so she could use that and not be old-fashioned at all.

"My daughter is 18, hip , cool and called Elizabeth . Her name gets shortened to Lizzy,liz."

Do noone actually calls her Elizabeth 😅
Which really is the whole thread. Everyone knows dozens of Elizabeth's but they all get nicknames...

For good reasons though. It is a very adult name. Or retiree name.
Just change call her by her chosen name. But don't change anything legally. Too easy

One of my husband's relatives was called Betty and she hated the fact her parents hadn't called her Elizabeth. Sometimes people used to assume that she was Elizabeth and she'd get letters to Mrs E. Surname!

Everyone knows dozens of Elizabeth's but they all get nicknames

well that's because it's quite a mouthful and people are lazy. Lets face it they can't even say sunglasses and shorten it to sunnies, so they're not going to make any more effort with someone's name. My mum purposely chose a name for me that can't be shortened (well it technically can being two syllables, but it's not that usual for people to do it).

Elly would be a good compromise.

Surely the coolest short version is Zabe?
Anyway. I would tell her she can be known as whatever at school and can change it in 2 years if she is happy.

I've never actually met someone called Elizabeth so actually goes by Elizabeth.

The ones I know go by Liz, Lizzy, Beth, Elle, and Betty. Ages range from teens to 80s.

I agree with others, draw up a list of normal nicknames for Elizabeth and ask her if she'd prefer any of these. Then you can work together to enforce the new nickname.

Ones I can think of:
Liz
Lizzy/Lizzie
Beth
Eliza
Elle
Ellie
Effie
Buffy
Bes
Bessie
Bette
Betty
Betsy
Lilibet
Lisa

Elizabeth must be the easiest name to “change” without going through the process of actually changing, surely? So, so
many shortenings: Liz, Lizzy, Eliza, Bet, Betty, Bess, Betsy, Eli, Libby, Beth, Liza, Eliza etc. And it’s likely to be much easier to get it to “stick”; you appear as “Elizabeth” on a list and say, “oh gosh - it’s Betsy please”, then no one thinks anything of it. The danger with the totally changing her name to Emily is that she becomes known as “Elizabeth who’s now Emily” and people think it’s rather odd. And it does follow you round because you do have to declare previous names on job applications etc. Much easier just to adapt the name she has and luckily very easy to do so with Elizabeth.

If she wants to be called Emily (rather than simply not wanting to be called Elizabeth) she's not going to be fobbed off with Lizzie, Betty or any of the other variants of Elizabeth. Let her use Emily and see whether or not it sticks. Lots of people use names that aren't their given names.

I have an Elizabeth, now in her twenties. We used a conventional short form of her name from birth. In her early teens she chose to call herself Zabeth for a while, but she went back to the original when she changed schools at 15.

It's only dropped out the top 50 in the last few years, there's tons of Elizabeth's around. It's hardly Joan or Edna

I mean if she wants to be called Emily let her adopt that as a nickname. She should probably know that Emily is a bit of a meme name online, a bit like Karen, but a young left wing version.

Elizabeth has so many opportunities for a shortened version though;Lizzy,Beth,eliza,Lily,Betty etc

My DD is called Elizabeth (24), she gets called Lizzie by most of her friends and some, some people also use her full name. At home she gets called Bettyboo

I'm an Elizabeth and I love that the name is timeless and versatile. No one could guess the decade I was born from my name unlike trendy "of the moment" names which do date. I do use a shortened version most of the time but when I'm going into negotiations with an opponent (lawyer) I always introduce myself as Elizabeth Surname. It sounds very official and not to be messed with!

When I was little my mum was insistent the name should not be shortened. She thought Lizzie "sounded silly" but she'd lost that battle by the time I was 6 or 7.

I do have some sympathy for your daughter. My argument (above) that I should be allowed to use my preferred diminutive was premised on the basis that "that is what I want to be called". I think I'd tell her she is free to experiment with asking her friends to call her a different name but you aren't going to allow her to change officially. When she's 18 she can do as she likes. My son went through a phase of wanting to change his name to Ricardo. After a couple of months he forgot about that. Then he started using his middle name but that faded as well. He's now nearly 18 and I've reminded him he can change by deed - this is really to do with his double barrelled surname which we've always said we'd be happy for the kids to trim down once they were old enough to decide. But he's decided to keep the lot, first middle and both surnames. Your daughter might feel the same in a few years (or might not!)

Not really the point of the thread but to me Emily sounds far more old fashioned than Elizabeth! Probably because when I was young there weren't any child-Emilies - they belonged in the world of Dickens and Bronte!

There are so many derivatives of Elizabeth she must be ok with one of them!

Depends what her school is like as well, although there are a million nicknames for Elizabeth, it doesnt matter if the school won't call her it or its still on the register.
Same with Emily as well, she can be 'known as' all she wants but she will still get called Elizabeth 15 times a day if thats what they are used to.

This is less likely if you do it for her as a parent with the school if being 'k own as' is something she decides to do.

This wont be all schools but one I worked in last week was like that and Ive been in others the same

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds as though you're one of those parents who's always insisted on calling her by the full length name. Elizabeth must have more diminutive options than any other name on the planet, so it's odd that she isn't already called by one.

I have a Ben, a Jim and a Tom on the fringes of my family (all in their 30s) , and their mothers insist on calling them Benjamin, James and Thomas. You can see the guys wince every time, and I find it jarring too. It's not who they are now or have chosen to be.

Surely everyone when choosing a name for their kids, bears in mind the diminutives, because we know that's what they'll be called in the end. Especially if they have a four syllable name.

Have you gone through all the diminutives of Elizabeth with her:
Liza, Eliza, Libby, Liz, Lizzie, Beth, Lisbeth, Elsbeth, Ell, Ellie, Ells, Betty, Bette, Bessie, Bess, Lila, Lily

No name has more nicknames. Does she not like any of them?

Effie is no less different to Elizabeth than Emily, though.

I'd let her call herself Emily if that's what she wants. It's not like she wants to be called Thunderduck or something. She can change it legally when she's 18 if she wants to.

I'm an Elizabeth and variously known by friends/family as Liz, Lizzy, Lila and Betty. It's such a versatile name. When I was your DDs age I didn't like it either but have come to love it. I still sometimes blank it when at the doctors and they call the full name, though!
I'd definitely encourage her to choose a derivative. If she likes Emily, surely Ellie or Lily would suit? Izzy or Libby?

This. I had a group of 5 friends at school, all of whom were known by their nicknames day to day.

She can change her own name including surname at 16 without any parental permission. I know someone who wanted to change his surname (father's) to his mother's name and researched it. He hasn't done it so far.

Elizabeth is one of the names that has the most nick-names as people have pointed out - does she really not like any of them? I wonder why she has picked such a bland name as Emily. Sounds like there is something else going on and she is focussing on her name as the thing that is making her stand out and it is really something else behind this.

There are so many cool shortenings: Betsy, Betty, Eliza, Libby. I do think Elizabeth is a bit fuddy duddy and not very cool so I do get her.