Daughter hates her name wants to change it.

[Laurenw16]

my 13 year old daughter keeps expressing to me how she dosent like her name which is “Elizabeth” I neve imagined her ever saying this because i purposely picked the name Elizabeth to avoid this happening, it was a name I knew thought she would be happy with, it’s a classic no nonsense name. In her eyes she says it’s old fashioned and “no one her age is called it” she probably thinks that because of the queen. She wants to change her name to a popular name when she was born she suggested Emily because according to her “it’s the most pops your name in my generation and it’s cool”. I’m just not sure what to do it’s really upsetting her feeling like she’s embarrassed of her name, to be honest I’m more upset because Elizabeth is such a timeless name I never thought she would even want to change it. She will probably get over it when she’s older and gets passed the teen stage. What should I do?? Should I let her change her name or just make her carry on with having a name she hates

Elizabeth is very old fashioned and a stiff formal name.
I agree with your dd.

I know children called Eliza, Beth, Bessie, Betsy, Elle and Betty, all of which can be diminutives of Elizabeth. So I'd go with previous suggestions of listing of all the possible versions and seeing if she'd be happy with one of those.

Do you actually refer to her as Elizabeth?

I know a few parents who insist on their kid using their full name and it's really eye-roll inducing.

It costs money to change your name officially (and then there's passports etc) so I'd tell her she has to wait and change it herself when she's working.

Is she not happy with Beth, Lizzy, Liza, Ellie etc?

People are seriously saying that the OP should allow her 13-year-old daughter to change her name legally because her daughter wants to be cool?

Emily is fine as a name, but come on. Surely the responsible thing to do is say she can go by whatever nickname she wants for now, and if she's still unhappy at 16 then they can discuss the possibility of a legal name change. Part of being a parent is ensuring that children don't make foolhardy decisions at the age of 13!

If anything, Emily as a name is likely to date (slightly) more than Elizabeth, which the daughter might not like when she gets older

Emily is a perfectly good name, but so is Elizabeth. They're not even that different.

She can legally change her name at 16. My DD did.

Lillibet is a lovely name Xx

Or Lizzo!

A child at my school changed her name so she could buy bracelets etc. at gift shops with it on. She was about 10. I thought that was a bit ridiculous.

I would let her change it legally now otherwise her exam certificates will be in her old name.

She is old enough to decide what she wants to be called. A name is just a name.

Life is too short to be stressed about your name.

Changing a name is such a faff from a paperwork pov. It'd encourage her to pick a shortened version of Elizabeth. It saves having to change all her paperwork.

I think people with longer, traditional names tend to fall in and out of love with them. I know a few people who opted for different versions of their names at different points in their lives eg so friends from school call them Libby; friends from uni call them Eliza; family call them Beth; parents call them Elizabeth.

Don't let her formally change her name. She's 13! She can make this decision when she's an adult, if she still wants to.

Instead, encourage her to pick a nickname. Maybe Lily? Much more youthful and current.

She's 13, of course she hates her name, she'd be saying the same if you'd named her Emily! She probably also hates her nose, her thighs, and the car you drive.

This is almost always something kids grow out of. And she has the most versatile name possible - there are so many nicknames she could choose, without the administrative faff and awkwardness of a formal name change. Let her at least get through her teens without making big alterations like this.

The old name exam certs isn't a problem, many people go by names tgat are not their name as per the birth cert. but I agree a name change is not a hill to die on.

Use her middle name perhaps? Plenty of people do.

My great grandmother was Eliza and had a younger sister called Elizabeth! My nan was Betty, just that, not short for anything.

I wouldn't do anything legally.

If she wants to go by a different name, that's fine, but I would encourage her to go for someone like 'Ellie', 'Lizzy' or 'Beth', a shortening of her name. That way it's not such a drastic change and she can always revert back to Elizabeth when she's older.

DD who is 7 knows quite a few Elizabeths, but all of them are known as “Lizzy”.

You say she hates her name, so yeah, I'd change it. Emily is lovely.

For everyone suggesting nicknames, I'm sure the family already tried different ones.

I would let her change it legally now otherwise her exam certificates will be in her old name.
^this

Changing your name at any age will make some things more complicated (applying for passports, visas, waivers, etc.), but changing it earlier creates less hassles.

Parents are far too precious about the names they chose. I've said this in other threads, but I believe things would be much better if every child on turning into a young adult chose the name they wished to be known by as an adult - whether that's consciously reaffirming the name they were given as a baby, or choosing a new one.

When she is 18 she can do what she likes. I went through the stage of reversing my two names and once i got over the silly teen bullshit, I couldn´t understand what possesed me. So make the right noises, encourage her to choose a nickname, and wait for the worst teen years to pass.

I knew a few kids at secondary school who started using another name (usually a middle one) in their teens. Our oldest uses another name now as they identify as non-binary - fortunately it's a lovely name and probably suits them better than their given one. Whether or not they remain identifying as non-binary I think the name might stick - my husband has said that if they still want it when they're old enough to do the paperwork themselves, they can legally change it.

Dd who is a few years older had at least 2 if not 3 Elizabeths in her class, they all have to be referred to using their surnames to distinguish. I thought it was still a pretty popular name

I actually did this legally after I was 18. It didn't take long for it to dawn on me that the awkwardness of a name change far outweighed the awkwardness of not liking my name. I then had to change it back and am left with documentation from that era that I will forever have to explain. I am now completely at peace with my name and realise that the issue was not really about my name but general youthful self-consciousness. My rule of thumb would be not to legally change a forename at any age, unless it's objectively awful.

It’s funny to me that an Elizabeth who hates their name for being old-fashioned wants to change to something as equally trad and middle of the road as Emily.
If she’s against any of the 101 shortening of Elizabeth, I’d probably just humour her. I’d guess it’s just a phase.

A 13 year old wanting to change her name? Yes, sounds about right from entitled kids. I had an old fashioned middle name growing up. I had to live with it. Putting it on birth certificates, passports, driving licences, hiding it from others, when asked. There's nothing wrong with Elizabeth, which can't be shortened to a princess sounding nickname.