The older I get, the less responsibility I want, is this normal ?

[LovelyYellowLabrador]

Does this seem normal to you ?
im mid 40s

YANBU. I feel like this too- I want to get rid of loads of stuff, live a simpler life, change jobs etc. But I am still responsible for my kids so I am doing it bit by bit!

What age did you start to feel like this everything ?

I’m the same and I’m 28 but I’ve always been like this to a degree. I like simple living.

Me too OP. I used to think I wanted to climb the career ladder, now I really can't be arsed. Quite frankly I'd rather finish work on time and then potter round my garden.

Me too. I’ve just hit 45 & cannot be arsed. I’m self employed so no career ladder as such but I’ve started refusing work that causes too much aggravation.

I am 57 and I have definitely slowed down and genuinely enjoy my job as a nurse but left the NHS mid 40s because it was too stressful!
At home i now have stopped being the brains for the family.
I am now not so inclined to do other people washing,cooking etc if the children are at home for any particular reason!!
Husband has retired and I deligate housework etc to him …
I genuinely can not be arsed any more!!
Son back from Uni now and has gone off with friends for a few days on our boat…his room is a mess and am just going to close the door and he can sort it out when he gets back !

Yes same, it’s mainly at work but other areas too. I’m 37, no longer want any responsibility at work, don’t want to manage anyone etc. I’d rather be home doing things around the house, basically I just want to do the bare minimum so I get paid enough to fund my leisure activities.

I think for me the pandemic started it off, realising that work doesn’t define me, I am more than my job title.

Me and I am mid 40s. I can cope with children, work and Dh but find wider family and friends neediness suffocating. I don’t have the bandwidth

Seems very sensible to me! I'm only 33 and want as little responsibility as possible, lol.

I hear you!! I've been like that since my mid 20s. I'm now in my mid 30s and cherish having next to no responsibility. It's nowt to do with laziness but I realised the hard way just how precious and precarious my mental health was and took steps accordingly. I do not want to carry anyone's burden. Not on my shoulders, thanks.

Totally with you. I’m late 40s and had a well paid career until covid. It made me stressed, anxious and I used to dread going to work. Now I do a hybrid admin role as well as a zero hours job doing outside stuff and I love it. I couldn’t bear to go back to the high-flying role under so much pressure.

Me, and I don't know what to do about it! 39, kids both in school now. Logically I should be upping my game about now... Instead I'm putting off upping my hours...

I'm 50 and I've never been keen to take on lots of responsibilities tbh! I have work, and dc and a house to look after (the latterctwo jointly with dh). That's plenty of responsibility for me.

Honestly? I can't wait for teen DC to finish growing up and have already vowed no more pets because I cannot wait to be free of being responsible for them all. I'm 47, very definitely perimenopausal and it would appear the idea that you lose your desire to nurture as hormone levels decline is true in my case.

My two dc and 3 cats is more than enough responsibility for me.
I don't take on anyones crap. I used to be a massive people pleaser - then I saw the harsh reality side of people. I will never put myself back in that position.

Same, I’m mid 40’s.

In the last few years I’ve given up being the organiser and host for friends and family and events, someone else can take a turn (but they’re not).

I’m self employed and business is good but I have gone from wanting to grow it and take it to the next level, to now having stopped taking on new client projects - I’m winding work down.

I love my dog to pieces but when he’s gone I don’t want the responsibility of even looking after a goldfish. I’ll never have a pet ever again.

DH and I are planning to downsize the house in about 5 years and be mortgage free. I’ve already started de-cluttering the house. I want a simple life.

I just want to do the bare minimum so I get paid enough to fund my leisure activities.

^That’s my plan for my 50’s.

I'm 57 and feel the same, my new boss is trying to 'develop' me , I told him I peaked years ago and would rather just get on with my job as it is.

I could have written this op!

I am 40 and feel the same, I’m single with 2 teens (one going to uni in September), I’m looking forward to having less responsibility. I am just looking at a career change to a job that has less responsibility, I’m happy to take a lay cut to have less stress in my life.

I hope it's normal, it started for me at about 40. I think when the novelty of independent living as an adult wears off and all the excitement of setting up home, starting a family etc has passed you're left with the realisation that being a grown up is filled with relentless, boring tasks. I'm sitting here trying to muster the enthusiasm to sort out car and home insurance, both of which run out next week.

I'm definitely feeling like this, mine seemed to correlate directly with the start or perimenopause. Seriously CBA with anything since then.

I've always been like this, I'm in my 30s. I'm a low maintenance person generally, anything from appearance eg don't have my nails done, do my hair at home and so on, don't have many clothes and I don't have loads of stuff. I'm happy with a simple life, content life. I've worked at the same place for a fair while but my current job is actually less stressful than before and it doesn't 'come home' with me, the money is the same but not much career progression from this point.

However, my dad has dementia (he's incontinent and yesterday I caught him just as he was about to fall over 😩) and my youngest has SEN so things can be full on and stressful!

I hear you. I’m mid 40s. There’s a promotion coming up at work. I think I just can’t be arsed. I was asked what I wanted to do at my last IPR. I said “coast for the next decade.”

@ZaraSizeMedium We lost our cat earlier this year and I also would never have another pet, I don't even want grandchildren tbh , I seem to have lost all capacity to take on anything that requires emotional input.

Yes but to some extent I've always been like this
Never wanted marriage, children

Did want a big career but couldn't cope so freelance now

Used to do volunteering but post lockdown, don't want to restart

Hate hate hate feeling responsible for elderly mother - dad gone and honestly
I don't know how I would have coped with two parents, looked after him before he died but hated that responsibility

Used to be on residents association for my block of flats, have withdrawn now

Used to think I'd get a cat when I move to a bigger place but now thinking that might be too much responsibility.

This has all happened over about 4 years, am now 46.