The older I get, the less responsibility I want, is this normal ?

[LovelyYellowLabrador]

Does this seem normal to you ?
im mid 40s

I'm 27 and feel less of a pull towards my career. I have 3 daughters, my smallest is 2 months old and I just want to prioritise them now. No faff or drama or fuss with anything unnecessary.

I cannecho so much of this but I think you have to have money for life to be simpl

All of this makes so much sense to me. I love that video

50 next year, in a 'good' job with a decent salary, and I've worked hard to get here. I put myself through university as a single parent, got postgrad degrees, worked long hours, took on more and more and more, because that seemed important. The job just gets more and more stressful and as it's public sector I am constantly asked to do more with less. And now I want to STOP. I am so over it all and I no longer give a toss. I am becoming resentful of every email that lands in my inbox.

DH wants to rent out the house and travel the world in a camper van. However, the salary is hard to give up (plus good pension scheme!) and with ds at university, a mortgage to pay and an inbuilt fear of not having 'enough' money I can't quite bring myself to take the plunge! Plus, my elderly dad needs someone to keep an eye...

So instead I end up doing the bare minimum at work and feeling shit/guilty about that instead!

It's screwed up really, isn't it? Why did we allow life to get this complicated?

@StJeanDeVence I'm not one for suggesting you should listen to randoms on the internet but... 😂

Seriously think about your DH's suggestion. If you're going to do it, now is probably your best opportunity before grandkids, proper need for elderly care etc etc!

We are all conditioned to 'wait' until retirement before properly living our dreams but I've heard too many stories of people getting ill and passing away shortly after retiring. It's just so sad.

@StJeanDeVence I understand. My career was in the NHS and I was fortunate enough to be able to take my pension at 55 due to something called ‘mental health officer status’, which means you can if 80% of your work is face-to-face with patients with serious mental health problems. That scheme was finished in about 1992, so you had to be registered before then. I had been paying AVCs for years by the time I went, so although I don’t have a full pension, it was enough to manage on reasonably comfortably.

Although I understand others telling you to think about your husband’s suggestion and it’s true that we don’t know how long we have, I agree with you that you have to think about your pension. The not knowing how long we have can mean beware lost opportunities, but also 30 or even 40 years of living on a pension and it’s important that isn’t in poverty.

Could you get the camper van and take it away each weekend and for lots of weekly holidays?

It's so nice to read that other people feel like this too. I have always resisted moving up the corporate ladder, it just seemed to me like a lot more bullshit and responsibility for a little bit more money. Not worth it.

The problem is that many of the well paid jobs out there boil down to making money for a company, or for shareholders, which is not exactly fulfilling or life affirming, yet we spend most of our day there. And vocational jobs like nursing, teaching etc. over worked and under funded.

I'm currently helping to care for an elderly parent with dementia, and working part time in a lower stress, lower paid role - having given up a more 'career' job to do so. In the next few years, when my parent goes into a nursing home, I really don't want to go back to the corporate nonsense, it's soul destroying.

I hear you @Farmageddon! This thread is good at least for realising we are not alone and shouldn't feel guilty.