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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Age 44-A baby, a masters or a hot bod?

218 replies

Hairdyeoutofabox · 14/06/2022 22:08

Been feeling a bit blah recently so need a goal/something to look forward to.
My only dc starts school in September. I have frozen embryos from years of infertility, I could try to see if they work.
I’m not 100% sure I’m not too old, although so wish I had more than one child.
If not this, I could do a masters or get my old bod back (would be a big project as need 2.5-3 stone to lose)

Which should I/would you do?

OP posts:
Ishacoco · 14/06/2022 22:09

Baby

Body

Masters

Toughtimesagain · 14/06/2022 22:10

Masters

Body

Baby

Lottapianos · 14/06/2022 22:10

The Masters or the bod. Not the baby

DenholmElliot1 · 14/06/2022 22:10

It's hot bod from me, but i'm shallow

JustJoinedRightNow · 14/06/2022 22:10

I would try for the baby and if that doesn’t work go for your masters.

Rot · 14/06/2022 22:11

Body. Every time.

Original poster
Hairdyeoutofabox · 14/06/2022 22:11

@Lottapianos Too old? Me

OP posts:
RJnomore1 · 14/06/2022 22:11

Baby

there’s time for the rest after and I think you might regret not trying

superram · 14/06/2022 22:13

Body, masters, baby. I’m 44 and too old.

Lottapianos · 14/06/2022 22:16

Do you really want to go back to the baby days with your child just about to start school?

Original poster
Hairdyeoutofabox · 14/06/2022 22:18

@Lottapianos Possibly, yes…I’m pretty sad I only got to experience it once…it went so fast

OP posts:
D0lphine · 14/06/2022 22:18

If in your heart you want another baby then go for it right now!

Masters and hot bod can be done any time.

lassof · 14/06/2022 22:20

Body. Maybe Masters (can do that any time). Baby - absolutely no way! Am so so so so so glad to be nearing 'freedom day' as they hit 18 ... cannot begin to imagine how depressing it would be to be another decade off that!

JinglyJane · 14/06/2022 22:21

For me personally masters body baby
in your case baby masters body

but I’m curious why you haven’t used the embryos earlier ?

EarringsandLipstick · 14/06/2022 22:22

I'm think these are completely different goals, that are not comparable in terms of prioritisation.

Some can be done at the same time: Masters & baby (or trying for one); or Body & Masters

However, the most significant decision is around having another baby.

I think if you really want it, you should consider it seriously and the reasons why (which possibly need to more than it's gone so fast with #1 or that you need a project) & then go for it with the awareness that it might not work, due to age / treatment

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 14/06/2022 22:22

Well I'd be bod and masters but I have 4 dc so it's a bit different !

parietal · 14/06/2022 22:23

if you want the baby, go for that first.

Next priority should be the Masters - it will give you something new to think about and you'll meet new people and find different ways to understand the world. Why not get started while doing the IVF/embryo transfers so that you don't have to pin all your hopes on a v uncertain IVF.

body - who cares? as long as you are reasonably healthy, this can be the lowest priority.

SNWannabe · 14/06/2022 22:26

Actually. I’m 44 too and almost finished my Masters… but I’d vote
baby
masters
body

A baby won’t be regretted and I think that as it’s even an option for you, you might regret not at least giving it a go.

If you were pregnant or trying to get pregnant you could work on getting healthier and you’d probably lose some weight as a result prior to getting pregnant. You could then continue to make healthy choices in the pregnancy and end up healthier in the long run.

Masters- read around what you’d study and make enquiries so if the pregnancy took a while you could be on the way to a grieving the masters… some have the option of completing over a longer period etc.

let us know what you decide!!!

seven201 · 14/06/2022 22:26

Why have you delayed using the embryos for so long? I think that's a bit of a sign.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 14/06/2022 22:26

I think your priority should be deciding on the baby or not. I'll be honest, to me it reads like you don't really want one otherwise you wouldnt have waited so long after the first and you wouldnt be weighing it up against losing weight or another project which isnt essential you do right now

Original poster
Hairdyeoutofabox · 14/06/2022 22:31

I took the time with the frozen embryos as covid hit and the clinics closed, then I had long covid mixed with early parenthood etc and it just flew by. I feel like I’ve only just put my head above the water now and if I were to do it…it’d have to be now

OP posts:
joan12 · 14/06/2022 22:34

Masters
Body

Apollonia1 · 14/06/2022 22:34

I had twins at 47 (first children, apart from miscarriages).
If you want another baby, I'd say
Baby
Masters
Body

You've the rest of your life to get your body back - no rush.

FlissyPaps · 14/06/2022 22:35

I voted YABU because how can you compare having a child to doing a masters or getting a “hot” body???? Fertility issues or not.

A CHILD IS FOR LIFE. It is not a hobby.

If you are serious about having a child then it should be your priority. And you need to be 110% certain that it is what you want.

I’m sorry if this comes across harsh, but please only do it if it something your heart is absolutely set on.

LuckyAmy1986 · 14/06/2022 22:36

Masters
Body
Baby