Age 44-A baby, a masters or a hot bod?

[Hairdyeoutofabox]

Been feeling a bit blah recently so need a goal/something to look forward to.
My only dc starts school in September. I have frozen embryos from years of infertility, I could try to see if they work.
I’m not 100% sure I’m not too old, although so wish I had more than one child.
If not this, I could do a masters or get my old bod back (would be a big project as need 2.5-3 stone to lose)

Which should I/would you do?

Start the Masters in September, start trying the baby route around Christmas and you'll be finished your Master by the time a baby arrives. The hot bod may take longer...

Baby is probably the time critical one, so if you really want to have another then maybe do that first.

If it helps, I'm 40 and recently had my baby while doing a masters. Didn't plan it like that but it worked out ok. Am now trying to get my body back, which is the hardest thing imo 😂 Also, there were lots of people on my course with children, so think studying can be done at the same time?

Good luck whatever you chose to do 🙂

Having a child just to give yourself a sense of a goal and incentive is pushing it. Rather than working on your 'body', and a masters, just overall think about your health and body and mind holistically. Do what you really want to do. Make your goal to discover the real passions that ignite you and try lots of taster sessions, something which will see you through the next decades. Maybe a passion for pottery or wild swimming or something like that, and the mind and body will follow naturally rather than spending miserable months in the gym.

From some replies on the thread, I feel like I’m really old…I don’t feel that old..I’m tired a lot, yes, but isn’t anyone with an almost 4 year old

@lightunderthesea You’re exactly right, I need to know there will be something else to push myself/distract myself with, if that makes sense

Masters and body. Not baby.

It's all very well talking about the 'hot body' as though it's a shallow thing. Flippantly calling it a 'hot bod' doesn't mean there aren't very good health reasons to lose weight and get fit. It's not a hobby. A baby is for life, yes, but so is your body! And putting it through pregnancy and childbirth, especially as an older mother, can have pretty shit long-term effects on it.

Of course you’re not old! but most 44 year olds would struggle to conceive and have a baby, so you would be old for someone with a newborn, that’s all.

Of course it does happen especially in the era of IVF but is not the usual.

None of them necessarily. Couldn't be arsed with any of it! It's a good idea to be as healthy as possible, so maybe the body one but 'hot' is very subjective and certainly shouldn't take over your life.

Close to peri menopause age too, when you are highly likely to think fuck it all...Definitely don't have another child!

@halfsiesonapotnoodle In what way, fuck it all?

Baby

It's the only one of them that's time sensitive !

The others can be tackled at ANY time in the future.

Feeling quite depressed by the replies…having the baby was the one I wanted, but it seems really odd and strange to lots of people, I never saw it as being that out there.

It’s not, MN is a bubble with certain things. If you want to, do it, fuck what anyone else thinks.

It's NOT strange to want a baby at your age, it's simply a little older than the 'average' !

If it's what you want, don't let a bunch of strangers on the net dissuade you ! You only get 1 life, so live it how YOU want to ! Reach for YOUR goals and desires, and to hell with anyone else's ideas about what YOU should be doing !

U could do the masters while also waiting for baby... then get the hot bod..

Hot bod. Being a healthy weight is by far the most important out of those.

You're going to do it anyway so why bother asking? You probably don't look that old but it is old to conceive a baby (44-45).

@potatoocity But my embryo was conceived at 39, so it’s not a case of trying now.
Would a 45 year old look odd/weird with a newborn

@Hairdyeoutofabox go for the baby. The others you can do when you're older with 2 school age children😁

Go for the baby now, you don't want to regret not going for it. The other 2 can come later

Masters
Bod
maybe baby.. but I'm at the teen/adult stage.

Or we have older children and know how hard the teen years are.

If you really want a baby why are you worried about being seen as odd with a newborn?

It’s a normal thing to have a baby in your 40s though, women have done it forever.

OP, two women at my daughters infant school had babies at 44/45. One had twins. And I didn't know that many mums so there were probably more. Go for the baby, you also have a young egg!