Age 44-A baby, a masters or a hot bod?

[Hairdyeoutofabox]

Been feeling a bit blah recently so need a goal/something to look forward to.
My only dc starts school in September. I have frozen embryos from years of infertility, I could try to see if they work.
I’m not 100% sure I’m not too old, although so wish I had more than one child.
If not this, I could do a masters or get my old bod back (would be a big project as need 2.5-3 stone to lose)

Which should I/would you do?

Am I the only one then who got fat during Masters? So many say combine body and studies but studying as a parent is already hard enough let alone if you need serious work outs to lose weight. Just where is the time?! Unless you don't stress eat and have a housekeeper and nanny...then anything is possible!

@cottagegardenflower What do you mean?

Oh I'd vote baby, too. You're still young enough to try. Time is of the essence for the baby but you can lose weight and do a Masters at any time later on.

You say hot bod but realistically your body will never look as good as those instagram 18 - 21 year old models ever again no matter what you do. I'd just focus on being healthy, eating well, moving more while I get pregnant and then maintain some level of fitness and a healthy BMI.

You could do the ERA/Emma/Alice (also known as endimitrio) to check for exact window to start progesterone, check for levels of good and bad bacteria in the uterus and also to check for infection in the uterus. You could have full immune testing. You could have a saline scan to check all is looking well in the uterus. I'm only saying those ones as I had all of those tests and they all found 'things'. I now take progesterone 24 hours before most people in ivf, I had low levels of good bacteria (treated with probiotics vaginal and oral - you could just do that anyway), the saline scan showed I had a big adhesion acting like a natural coil (surgery to remove it) and I have all sorts of immune issues (now have intralipids, steroids and something else). I'm actually in the very early stages of an ivf pregnancy (first one after 6 ivf transfers but also had natural miscarriages). My ivf clinic did not recommend the saline scan (I went elsewhere) and they were actively against me going for immune testing. They would have merrily kept transferring embryos that didn't really have a chance. I'm not saying that would be the case at your clinic, but some clinics aren't as thorough as others. Mines a big national uk one.

@seven201 Ahh congratulations 🎉 I hope it all goes well 🙏
It’s the clinic I’ve always been with and it worked once, but I could try the extra tests, tbh I think the chances are v v low of it working, don’t want to be pessimistic but have to be realistic, have to get myself in the right frame of mind

I went for baby/sibling.

(Ended up with svelte as part of the deal, which was nice )

Good luck with the decision, OP.

PS

Would a 45 year old look odd/weird with a newborn

Not that odd where I live, but I visited somewhere where it seemed very much more odd. Luckily for me, my satisfaction at having been blessed with littlest DC means I don’t care one bit if it looks odd.

Baby
Body
Masters

Good luck OP x

You already have a child. So no dc anymore. Especially at your age. Carrying a child will end your body (the second one def destroyed mine haha) plus the age gap would be wayyy to big. They'd grow up as only's even though there would be two.

So
Either a masters if you value it
Or an amazing body as it would give confidence and health and whatever else.

Baby

Masters

Body

But for me currently it is body /masters , then baby no2 in 3/4 years age 33

If you think you'd regret not trying then try for a baby but no way would I have a baby now and I'm 42. If I were you I'd enjoy my life and get that masters.

Baby body masters.
Baby has a time restriction - you better get cracking if you want another. Body is also harder to get back as you get older. Masters you can do at anytime. I did mine part time whilst working and it was a nightmare - I don’t think I could do it with a small child tbh,

I think this thread shows that all three options are highly personal and you can only do what's right for you. I couldn't think of anything worse than having another baby (I'm 39 and just feeling like I'm getting my life back now my youngest is 5) and am actively doing body and masters but I'm not you.

@Marvellousmadness Wreck my body how?
The age gap wouldn’t be that huge at 4/5 years would it? My siblings all have 5 years between us 🤷🏻‍♀️

You already have a child. So no dc anymore. Especially at your age. Carrying a child will end your body (the second one def destroyed mine haha) plus the age gap would be wayyy to big. They'd grow up as only's even though there would be two.

The age gap is absolutely fine. Growing up as onlies, ffs

My bod is in pretty good shape, thank you very much.

Or an amazing body as it would give confidence and health and whatever else.

Let’s be real here. ‘Amazing’ or ‘hot’ body is tabloid talk; sensible BMI and fitness is good enough at any age. I wouldn’t miss out on a wanted DC in pursuit of something that the march of time is going to deny you to some degree anyway.

Body

Masters

Baby not even on the list for me anymore and I'm only 35! It's all so individual though isn't it. My youngest just turned 4 and life is easier - he can play out in the garden with some friends, can sit through an age appropriate movie if we have a cinema trip, family days out are fun. I just couldn't face going back to the baby then toddler stage.

To be honest, I'm also done with exams after doing my CA don't fancy the masters either 😂

Go for the hot bod, I took up CrossFit a year ago and I'm way fitter than I've ever been, made new friends and have grown in confidence. No downsides to that at all.

I'm going on for 37 and although I don't have eggs frozen my clock is ticking away.
I wanted to have another but my dh doesn't we have one dc.
I just finished my master just because it's something I wanted to do. I feel totally meh by the whole process though.

I am now busy getting my body back in order after piling on the pounds during lockdown. It's keeping me busy but I know in my heart I just wish I could have another dc. I will make peace not having one but if I had a choice I'd have baby first. Masters can be done any time and imo a lot less fulfilling than a dc if you want one! Hot bod might even come after having a baby. I was so busy running around trying to get work/childcare/everything else to work soon after having my one dc I was the slimmest I've ever been. Now they don't need me so much I'm fatter than ever.