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Original poster

Age 44-A baby, a masters or a hot bod?

218 replies

Hairdyeoutofabox · 14/06/2022 22:08

Been feeling a bit blah recently so need a goal/something to look forward to.
My only dc starts school in September. I have frozen embryos from years of infertility, I could try to see if they work.
I’m not 100% sure I’m not too old, although so wish I had more than one child.
If not this, I could do a masters or get my old bod back (would be a big project as need 2.5-3 stone to lose)

Which should I/would you do?

OP posts:
PurpleButterflyWings · 15/06/2022 00:20

Masters or hot bod. NOT A BABY! Not at 44 FFS! Shock Why would you do that to yourself, OR any child? Shock Wrong on soooo many levels!

Namechanger355 · 15/06/2022 00:22

Baby in your case

then you can get your masters and your hot body at the same time a year later!

PyongyangKipperbang · 15/06/2022 00:24

Having a baby because you are feeling "a bit blah" is just.....well stupid.
I am genuinely hoping that you are joking to be honest.

If you really wanted a baby it would be all consuming, as it was the when you had your IVF, the fact that it isnt suggests to me that you are simply bored and want something to take your mind off it. If you are not 100% determined you need to have another child I dont think that you are in the best place to deal with the treatment, which you know better than I do is traumatic at best and soul destroying at worst.

TruthHertz · 15/06/2022 00:25

Body. It sounds shallow but it's the one you 100% won't regret. Baby may be a badly thought out idea and masters may be of little real use.

Original poster
Hairdyeoutofabox · 15/06/2022 00:51

@PyongyangKipperbang Simply bored? I’m scared and anxious tbh and worried about my age…if I was in my 30’s or even 40, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
I’m not taking this lightly, the post may come across as flippant, but is perhaps preparation as it’s unlikely if I did put myself through it all again, that it would even work anyway. Perhaps it’s self preservation.

OP posts:
Shedcity · 15/06/2022 00:56

Baby

bod

masters

Sunnytwobridges · 15/06/2022 00:58

Lottapianos · 14/06/2022 22:10

The Masters or the bod. Not the baby

This. No to the baby. 😂

PyongyangKipperbang · 15/06/2022 00:59

Hairdyeoutofabox · 15/06/2022 00:51

@PyongyangKipperbang Simply bored? I’m scared and anxious tbh and worried about my age…if I was in my 30’s or even 40, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
I’m not taking this lightly, the post may come across as flippant, but is perhaps preparation as it’s unlikely if I did put myself through it all again, that it would even work anyway. Perhaps it’s self preservation.

Then I apologise, but your post did come across as flippant and that you simply need something to do. Adding "hot bod" into the list made it seem that you werent taking it seriously.

If you really are determined that you want another child then do that, but perhaps consider working on your health as much as you can first as it will improve your success rate (as you know!).

Aussiegirl123456 · 15/06/2022 01:02

How much do you want a baby?

You could work on the hot bod and the masters at the same time?

NerrSnerr · 15/06/2022 08:07

I'd go for the masters and the body. My youngest is just ending reception and I feel I finally have the headspace to exercise and study. I couldn't cope with the early years of not being able to hang washing out without a toddler being a pain again!

NightmareSlashDelightful · 15/06/2022 08:11

I’m 44 and doing the bod. But then I’m a personal trainer so it’s kind of the uniform.

HelloBunny · 15/06/2022 08:12

I will say, in terms of a hot bod, well fitness & healthy eating really... That I’d lost weight & gotten into good shape before falling pregnant.
My baby was a wonderful surprise (I didn’t think it would happen for us, and had accepted child-free life). Being fit made the difference.
I’m thrilled with DS, and love being a mum (something I was never sure about before 40). Recovery was brutal, but I’m fitter than ever now!

JanisMoplin · 15/06/2022 08:13

Masters all the way

Hot bodies are overrated, and so are babies in your mid 40s.

PaperMonster · 15/06/2022 08:18

Baby
masters
body

JanisMoplin · 15/06/2022 08:21

Writing a book or taking up painting is a good midlife hobby too.

indoorplantqueen · 15/06/2022 08:25

I would try get a baby at your age, especially since you have one already. I did the hot bod and masters (and doctorate) after dc1.

Original poster
Hairdyeoutofabox · 15/06/2022 08:45

@indoorplantqueen Would or wouldn’t try?

OP posts:
indoorplantqueen · 15/06/2022 08:51

Sorry I meant wouldn't.

lightunderthesea · 15/06/2022 08:56

Hairdyeoutofabox · 15/06/2022 00:51

@PyongyangKipperbang Simply bored? I’m scared and anxious tbh and worried about my age…if I was in my 30’s or even 40, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
I’m not taking this lightly, the post may come across as flippant, but is perhaps preparation as it’s unlikely if I did put myself through it all again, that it would even work anyway. Perhaps it’s self preservation.

Ok, so after this explanation I think that you probably know what you want ( baby) but are trying to reassure yourself because you may have to accept different outcomes.
If I were in your life, and my partner was onboard I'd try for a child. You can reevaluate other things at a secondary stage.

cottagegardenflower · 15/06/2022 08:59

Masters or body. To baby at this age.

GinaDonatella · 15/06/2022 09:02

I always say this on these threads having a baby is so personal and unique to your own circumstances

but for me personally I absolutely would not have a baby at 44 realistically 45 when baby is born but then again when I’m 45 I’ll have a 20yo who is my only child

I am also a bit vain… so body would be number 1 priority and that’s what I’m focusing on now at 32!

Vikinga · 15/06/2022 09:08

A baby, definitely. But why can't you do the masters at the same time? And not so much hog body but you can start getting healthier now. Doing swimming, eating well etc. Losing excess weight should be good for your health and to make you strong for pregnancy.

TwasAGoodYear · 15/06/2022 09:09

I can’t imagine thinking I need a goal, making a list of options, and then a baby being on the list along with going to the gym regularly. It sounds mad.

SerendipitySunshine · 15/06/2022 09:11

I had a similar choice to make at a similar age. I chose the baby, and I am so glad I did. It has honestly been the best decision We ever made. I shudder when I think I could have left the embryo that turned into my baby in the freezer. If it hadn't worked, at least I'd known that I'd tried and it wasn't meant to be.

MissSmiley · 15/06/2022 09:14

I think you're in a great position, how many embryos do you have left? Have you discussed what to do with any left over ones even if you do try? I would give them a chance soon knowing that if it doesn't work out you have a plan, is there a reason you can't work on your fitness while studying?