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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Age 44-A baby, a masters or a hot bod?

218 replies

Hairdyeoutofabox · 14/06/2022 22:08

Been feeling a bit blah recently so need a goal/something to look forward to.
My only dc starts school in September. I have frozen embryos from years of infertility, I could try to see if they work.
I’m not 100% sure I’m not too old, although so wish I had more than one child.
If not this, I could do a masters or get my old bod back (would be a big project as need 2.5-3 stone to lose)

Which should I/would you do?

OP posts:
Sqeebling · 15/06/2022 09:16

Do the masters whilst trying for a baby

Tropicalsunshine · 15/06/2022 09:19

It's really obvious from your answers that you want the baby. I think you'll regret it forever if you don't at least try. Good luck with whatever you choose.

kimfox · 15/06/2022 09:28

Cant believe some if these comments - the outrage!

You won't find the "right" answer from a bunch of strangers on the internet but you might find food for thought from these opinions / experiences!

Bod and masters can both be done at the same time is my input. Talk to your doctors and your DH about the baby.

Snoken · 15/06/2022 09:43

I think the baby should be your priority as it is quite clear from your posts that you do definitely want a baby, but what does your DH want?

The other two things can be considered projects and can be done in conjunction with or following the baby. The baby is life changing and due to your age, a bit urgent, so if you want to do them all (and there is no rason you couldn't) the priority should be baby, masters, hot bod.

pattish · 15/06/2022 09:43

Is this for real? You put a baby in the same ‘I fancy giving myself something to look forward to’ category as a masters or getting fit?

You do know that a baby is an actual human being?

OlympicProcrastinator · 15/06/2022 09:44

Body (nothing to do with being hot but a strong healthy body is super important and it’s the only body you’ve got for the next 44 years)

The other two depend on your own preferences. But always put your health first or the other things will be more difficult to achieve anyway.

pattish · 15/06/2022 09:45

LazyJayne · 14/06/2022 22:43

Why are you talking to a 44 year old mother like she’s 12

Show quote history

Because she sounds about 12?

PanettoneMoly · 15/06/2022 09:45

I’m 42, with a 2 year old and a couple of embryos in the freezer. Currently trying to work out what to do with them but in my heart of hearts I know that if I was committed to transferring one & trying for a second DC, I would have done it by now or at least had a firm plan of action, pandemic or no pandemic.

So mine would be masters AND hot bod, because there’s nothing stopping you from exercising & other lifestyle changes beneficial to hot-bodness while studying.

pattish · 15/06/2022 09:47

Peoniesandpeaches · 15/06/2022 00:17

I don’t think feeling blah or needing a goal is a good reason to have a child.

I’m amazed how few people are pointing this out.

Delectable · 15/06/2022 09:52

Baby! Absolutely Baby!

Delectable · 15/06/2022 09:52

Even you DC will be happy to have a sibling!

Original poster
Hairdyeoutofabox · 15/06/2022 09:53

@pattish Read all my posts and have a little compassion, perhaps?

OP posts:
ImustLearn2Cook · 15/06/2022 09:58

@Hairdyeoutofabox From all your posts it comes across as you want to try for a baby. So, go for it 😊

notsallyrooney · 15/06/2022 09:58

What masters would you do? The baby is the only one you'd need to crack on with now! I'd see what happens on that front and perhaps start a masters at the same time ..

VainAbigail · 15/06/2022 10:03

Which do you think you’ll be more grateful of having when you are 88?

NortieTortie · 15/06/2022 10:05

Baby! There's plenty of time for the other things later on. Do you think you'd regret not trying?

NotQuiteUsual · 15/06/2022 10:17

Masters and hope the deadlines cause me to loose weight through stress. Go for the BOGOF. I'd not go for a baby, but only because I loathe pregnancy and I like my sleep too much.

ClinkeyMonkey · 15/06/2022 10:18

Baby for sure! I had DS1 at 41 and DS2 at 45. Both very uncomplicated pregnancies and births and decent recovery afterwards. I know it's not like that for everyone, but complications can occur regardless of age. I'm 55 now and keeping as active as I can. My body is probably tepid rather than hot, but I don't have high expectations in that respect!

SomersetDreams · 15/06/2022 10:19

Have you thought about buying a sportcar and adding it to the list?

Do what your heart tells you, and take advice here with a pinch of salt :)

You can have it all!! (Just not at the same time maybe)

JanisMoplin · 15/06/2022 10:20

I don't want to harsh your buzz as the youth say but dealing with the menopause and a toddler may not be easy.

EmmaH2022 · 15/06/2022 10:23

OP I'm impressed you have the energy to consider any of these as a "liven things up" option. They all seem like huge projects to me.

The baby is the one that's potentially a disaster but I'm childfree and there's a child crying outside my window right now...argh.

mumsys · 15/06/2022 10:24

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

brighteyesburninglikefire · 15/06/2022 10:26

Baby
Masters
Bod

VastQuantities · 15/06/2022 10:31

Body- in terms of health and fitness- set you up for a healthy energetic life.

Masters.

Baby.

Maisa45 · 15/06/2022 10:32

Personally I wouldn't go for baby. My only child is also about to start school and god I couldn't back to the baby days. I'm currently learning three languages and working on my fitness and maybe I am selfish/vain but I want to have the time to focus on myself (as well as my DD ofc). But that's me and only you know how much you want another child. Also (I really don't mean to be rude) but I absolutely could not imagine having a baby in my mid forties.

So yeah if I was you I'd go for hot bod, or masters and hot bod - I think you could do both if you set your mind to it. You don't have to live in the gym to achieve a fit body, it just takes constancy and doing the right exercises.