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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Think MIL caught me adding gin to my drink ! Help !!!

217 replies

Whywhywhypinky · 07/06/2022 23:50

We had guests over. No one was drinking . I ‘secretly’ poured myself a large gin in my lemonade . After , I Realised that my MIL was now sat in a seat where she could have seen through from the lounge into the kitchen . ( if she had of turned her head backwards !!!!)

I feel sick . I rarely drink . I poured the drink to calm my social anxiety! Now I feel sick as a dog that I might look like an alcoholic!!!!!!! My husband would be mortified if he found out .

MIL seemed quiet when I tried to talk to her after but then she has a history of being quiet and abit moody ? I feel so paranoid and angry at myself . Did she see ? I am not sure if she would ever bring it up if she did ? I’m totally freaking out . Why did I do this ???

I’m 35 with DS 10 months . MIL is 78
and very anti drinking ! We had a few
of my husbands nephews over .

I don’t know what an Earth I was playing at . I shouldn’t have done it !! I am feeling sick with worry . I even went and put my phone at the window seat and recorded myself pouring the drink ! High chance she could have seen me if she had turned my way !!!!!

OP posts:
Skinnermarink · 07/06/2022 23:52

Are you sure it’s just gin, you sound really paranoid. I really don’t get it. If I want a gin in my own house I’ll bloody pour myself one and I don’t care who knows it.
Do you live in in Saudi Arabia or somewhere?

EightisEnough · 07/06/2022 23:53

I’d need a gin as well if I had to live like this.

why are you so worried?

Is it something cultural?

NoSquirrels · 07/06/2022 23:54

my MIL was now sat in a seat where she could have seen through from the lounge into the kitchen . ( if she had of turned her head backwards !!!!)

Pretty unlikely then, eh?

JulyDreams · 07/06/2022 23:54

Don't worry OP!!! So what.... what time of day was it? Seems like you are worried a lot of what your MIL thinks? What if she saw you poor the gin with lemonade surely that's just someone pouring themselves a drink? That's how I would see it and think nothing of it.

If you can say what time of day it was it may make an impact as in if it's evening no problem or sunny with bbq outside then yes.... ??

Skinnermarink · 07/06/2022 23:55

This reply has been deleted

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JulyDreams · 07/06/2022 23:55

Agree with PP- why are you so paranoid if she saw? It's not like you were hiding in the toilet upstairs pouring it?

FlipFlopShopInHawaii · 07/06/2022 23:55

You're an adult, you're allowed to have a gin in your own house. What are you so worried about?

Josoliesmlaurdog · 07/06/2022 23:56

Why is it a problem? I drink wine at home …I can do what I like at home !! What’s the back story?

GrumpyPanda · 07/06/2022 23:58

So you had a gin, big funding deal. Actually the one and only thing that could indeed make you look like an alcoholic us doing it on the sly. Next time, add a shot of something more visible than gin and do it openly.

Whywhywhypinky · 07/06/2022 23:59

@Skinnermarink
It is the fact that I was secretly pouring a gin into my drink - I was pouring the gin in the glass inside the cupboard ( clearly acting very sneaky !) I was clearly making it a secret ( or at least I had thought!)

it wasn’t just like I had calmly added abit of gin into a glass and then poured lemonade! I must have looked like a raging alcoholic !

MIL can’t abide alcohol so i never even mention I drink- I think she thinks I don’t drink. so im
worried she will think I’m a lair and have some drink issue !!!

For her to see me trying to hide myself putting gin in what I would have pretended was lemonade would surely make me look awful in her eyes !?

i realise I sound so immature but I’m mortified !!!!im paranoid they don’t like me already !

OP posts:
GrumpyPanda · 07/06/2022 23:59

Looks like autocorrect turned into the modesty police!

Ponoka7 · 07/06/2022 23:59

Who gives a shit that she's anti drinking? You get to decide what you do.

Trinxsy · 08/06/2022 00:00

Confused why you needed to do it secretly in the first place?

HaveringWavering · 08/06/2022 00:00

On what grounds is your MIL anti-drinking? Religion? Had an alcoholic father/husband? Or sexist, thinks women should not drink?
Unless this gathering was before lunchtime or you were planning to drive her home, why do you care so much what she thinks? You’re a grown woman. Does your husband also try to control your alcohol intake?

BlueTitSmilingAtMe · 08/06/2022 00:01

The only scenario I can think of where someone is so worried about being seen drinking and so detailed in efforts to conceal is one where they are a drinker, the family knows and they're sneaking around trying not to get caught.

Skinnermarink · 08/06/2022 00:02

This reply has been deleted

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Whywhywhypinky · 08/06/2022 00:03

@HaveringWavering @GrumpyPanda

it was the fact I was clearly trying to hide it ! No one else was drinking or even offered a drink!

i was trying to hide in a cupboard and pour a gin! I should have just bloody poured it like a normal person !

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 08/06/2022 00:03

What help are you getting with your anxiety issues? A shot of gin isn’t a great plan - which you know, because you were doing it ‘sneakily’. Next time just offer everyone drinks, pour what you like and don’t sneak around.

JulyDreams · 08/06/2022 00:04

Were you hiding in a standing cupboard? Yes it may be a bit obvious then but oh well. If she mentions something to your DH then you'll know. Would she?

leavethewallalone · 08/06/2022 00:07

This is very strange.

For her to see me trying to hide myself putting gin in what I would have pretended was lemonade would surely make me look awful in her eyes !?

Unless you are an alcoholic, which you say you aren't, then who gives a crap what MIL thinks.
A gin and lemonade doesn't warrant this level of paranoia OP. Even if she saw you, it means nothing.

You can't change pouring it in the cupboard now so put it behind you and move on. This is a none issue.

AtrociousCircumstance · 08/06/2022 00:08

Bloody hell woman own your own life and stop snivelling around apologising for fuck all!

SlightlyGeordieJohn · 08/06/2022 00:08

Whywhywhypinky · 08/06/2022 00:03

@HaveringWavering @GrumpyPanda

it was the fact I was clearly trying to hide it ! No one else was drinking or even offered a drink!

i was trying to hide in a cupboard and pour a gin! I should have just bloody poured it like a normal person !

It’s quite impolite to not offer others a drink if you are making yourself one. Next time the decent thing is to say that you are going to get yourself a drink and ask what everyone else wants.

I’d be pretty offended if someone did what you’ve done when I was round their house.

worraliberty · 08/06/2022 00:09

Are you always this dramatic OP?

Whywhywhypinky · 08/06/2022 00:09

BlueTitSmilingAtMe · 08/06/2022 00:01

The only scenario I can think of where someone is so worried about being seen drinking and so detailed in efforts to conceal is one where they are a drinker, the family knows and they're sneaking around trying not to get caught.

I used to drink ! So did DH . But then we moved to Scotland and we stopped drinking and decided we wanted a baby so we didn’t drink for about 18 months a. Then I was pregnant so no drinking . Now after about 3 years I have started having the odd drink !
Feel MIL is happy we didn’t drink so would hate to say we now drink maybe once a month ! So I’m worried she would think we were now drinking all the time after todays episode !!!!

OP posts:
FacebookPhotos · 08/06/2022 00:11

Pouring secretly pouring gin into your lemonade is dodgy. Regardless of whether she saw you need to have a serious think - why do you feel the need to hide having a single gin in your own home? It is unhealthy behaviour and something needs to change.