Think MIL caught me adding gin to my drink ! Help !!!

[Whywhywhypinky]

We had guests over. No one was drinking . I ‘secretly’ poured myself a large gin in my lemonade . After , I Realised that my MIL was now sat in a seat where she could have seen through from the lounge into the kitchen . ( if she had of turned her head backwards !!!!)

I feel sick . I rarely drink . I poured the drink to calm my social anxiety! Now I feel sick as a dog that I might look like an alcoholic!!!!!!! My husband would be mortified if he found out .

MIL seemed quiet when I tried to talk to her after but then she has a history of being quiet and abit moody ? I feel so paranoid and angry at myself . Did she see ? I am not sure if she would ever bring it up if she did ? I’m totally freaking out . Why did I do this ???

I’m 35 with DS 10 months . MIL is 78
and very anti drinking ! We had a few
of my husbands nephews over .

I don’t know what an Earth I was playing at . I shouldn’t have done it !! I am feeling sick with worry . I even went and put my phone at the window seat and recorded myself pouring the drink ! High chance she could have seen me if she had turned my way !!!!!

Good grief are you always so dramatic?? You must be permanently exhausted😬

For the anxiety i would suggest you also have some blood tests - iron, B12 etc. Anything that can affect mood. If your levels are low - and you had a baby so that makes it more likely then it can contribute to anxiety.

Morning ! I hadn’t thought how much Gin smells and maybe now I panicked ! But it is done now!

Truth is , I still am annoyed it happened but I had massive issues or anxiety so I wouldn’t be the type to just think ‘ oh well what can I do !’

I told my husband. He was sad I felt this anxious that I wanted the drink . He agreed I need to be specific at DRs and tell them social anxiety is ruining my life . He said he doubts MiL saw but worst case she did I would explain to her what I have explained on here !!!!

i feel better having told husband . He was just sad for me and wants me to access help to feel better .

One gin doesn’t make you stink like Old Gin Sally, you loon.

Why did you record yourself pouring a gin...?

Your MIL should not have so much influence over your life op.

Given that OP's anxiety had been mentioned so prolifically throughout this thread, I don't think it's possible that you missed it, so I think we'd have to conclude that you have made this comment purely to be very nasty.

You need to make this the push you need to seek professional advice for the anxiety. There is help available. You don’t need to suffer like this. Call today.

Maybe she’s jealous because because you didn’t offer her any.

.” I even went and put my phone at the window seat and recorded myself pouring the drink ! High chance she could have seen me if she had turned my way !!!!!”

Seriously, nobody videos themselves pouring a drink in secret, this has got to be a wind up.

You don't have to explain anything to your MIL.

You fancied a drink & you had one!

Although with all the fuss & anxiety it might have been better not to bother!

@Glitterblue thank you for your reply! Clearly we both don’t relax around MIL! I am aware other people would stick to fingers up to her views but I’m just not like that ! I feel I’m always just sp
worried around her abs FIL.

To see if she would have been able to see what I was doing in the cupboard from the window . I realised this is bonkers 😛 but I was hoping I’d be able to prove to myself she couldn’t have seen .

This, exactly

Your husband sounds very sensible. What other people think shouldn't be such a huge deal for you and - as you've seen - the judgement you anticipated doesn't actually manifest. You thought your husband would be mortified and instead he is concerned.

I may be off here, but I'd also think about how much power you are giving alchohol - in this instance, at least, it seems like a souce of reassurance and worry for you. I'd be wary of that because I think it is elevating it to a bigger deal than it is.

I hope your Dr is able to help.

(ps ignore my username - just a bad coincidence!)

There’s only 1 way to fix this OP

Have her back over, offer her a drink, then pour yourself a massive one, drink it in front of her, then cackle the afternoon away.

If you can’t do this, then there’s something wrong with you.

It is so sad . I’m sorry to read this . i understand how hard it is. You have to go along with someone else’s rules !!!

Thankfully my own parents have no issue with alcohol . So if I fancied a glass of wine I would bloody have one .

issue is we live far away from my family and close to in-laws.

To all the people who say they would do as they please I am almost in utter shock they have the confidence - wish I did !

As someone who no longer drinks alcohol I can honestly smell just one gin from meters away.
She will have smelt it.
But really, it's none of her business.

He said he doubts MiL saw but worst case she did I would explain to her what I have explained on here !!!!
No. you don't need to "explain" anything to MIL. Having a drink in one's own house is not a thing that needs explaining. Stop giving her that power.

Excellent advice. “I fancied a gin, you don’t like alcohol so I was not making a big deal of it” I’d add “and you don’t have to either”
or Change it to “let’s not make a big deal of it, What’s for dessert? “

To all the people who say they would do as they please I am almost in utter shock they have the confidence - wish I did !
You develop balls of steel when you have DC to look after. Everybody comes second to them.

This is so fucked up

Why do you care if mil saw an adult woman having a drink in her own home? You are allowed to drink if you want, who cares if she doesnt like drinking? You need to grow a backbone OP.

It’s that I was hiding in the cupboard! Sneaking around . That’s the issue I think . I know I need to grow a back bone. How do I do that ?
I wish I could go on a course

• be who you truly are


• grow a backbone


• stop being paranoid


• face your fear !

I know. I feel awful that I’ve allowed this to happen . I am desperate for her to like me . I agonise over her approval .
I hate myself for it .