Think MIL caught me adding gin to my drink ! Help !!!

[Whywhywhypinky]

We had guests over. No one was drinking . I ‘secretly’ poured myself a large gin in my lemonade . After , I Realised that my MIL was now sat in a seat where she could have seen through from the lounge into the kitchen . ( if she had of turned her head backwards !!!!)

I feel sick . I rarely drink . I poured the drink to calm my social anxiety! Now I feel sick as a dog that I might look like an alcoholic!!!!!!! My husband would be mortified if he found out .

MIL seemed quiet when I tried to talk to her after but then she has a history of being quiet and abit moody ? I feel so paranoid and angry at myself . Did she see ? I am not sure if she would ever bring it up if she did ? I’m totally freaking out . Why did I do this ???

I’m 35 with DS 10 months . MIL is 78
and very anti drinking ! We had a few
of my husbands nephews over .

I don’t know what an Earth I was playing at . I shouldn’t have done it !! I am feeling sick with worry . I even went and put my phone at the window seat and recorded myself pouring the drink ! High chance she could have seen me if she had turned my way !!!!!

Hugs OP, anxiety really sucks. Ask yourself why it matters if they like you? Presumably by now they either do or they don't, and clearly either way it's not impacted on the people who matter, ie your husband and son. The main thing though is that you are seeing your GP, which is the first and best step on the way to getting less anxious. Best wishes!

Unless it was breakfast, really wouldn’t worry about it.

I’m glad you’ve booked to see your GP. That’s a good start. Using alcohol to change how you feel isn’t really the answer as it inevitably leads to addiction issues, same as smoking to calm the nerves.

I also think you need to stop having imaginary conversations with people in your head and assuming they’re thinking badly of you. Most people are so wrapped up in themselves, they don’t pay that much attention to others.

I don’t drink alcohol but I’m not going to hold an opinion about my DIL’s drinking habits or anyone’s for that matter, unless there’s clearly more to it.

Best of luck in finding strategies to help with your anxieties. Take care OP.

I know it's hard when you are feeling so anxious, but I think you need to try and laugh this off... It sounds like a situation from Motherland or Curb Your Enthusiasm or something!

I've done something a bit like this. I drink every few months, usually 1 or 2 drinks. But I was at somewhere I knew they wouldn't approve, so when I went to get a lemonade, I put some gin into it in the pantry. But I have OCD, so I was doing this weird counting thing of counting to 7 then unscrewing the lid, counting to 7 then screwing it back up again etc. It would've sounded like I was opening and closing the bottle over and over again. Well anyway I realised someone was in the corridor while I was doing this.

Your post is so weird and worrying, you’re so scared of your mother in law in your own home?

How did you feel about it and deal with it ?
Glad it isn’t just me !!!!!!

You had a gin FGS you didn't kill a puppy. I think you're way over reacting.

OP, you don’t have to be perfect for anyone to like you. No one is perfect, we all have faults, foibles, annoying little quirks and habits.
Your MIL, doesn’t like alcohol, fair enough, that’s her choice…you do like it occasionally and that is your choice. As long as you’re not forcing it down her neck with rubber tube it’s not her business. Next time you’re in her company and you fancy a drink, have one, don’t ask or apologise for it. Just do it without fanfare or comment, if she says or does anything just ignore her or smile and change the subject.
You’ve done the first step going forwards by confiding in your husband and making an appointment with your GP.
Well done, we’re all behind you.

Ignore the comment regarding someone saying you must have a drink problem because you had a large Gin in the middle of the day ….it was 6pm and a one off !
Good you have got an appointment to discuss your general anxiety and I hope you have had a better day.
Next time you fancy a drink ,just pour it without any secrecy and enjoy it !

DP needs several gins whenever MIL visits. And a celebratory one when she goes.

This is just not a normal reaction, give yourself a shake, you are a grown woman!

Do you live in Saudi Arabia or somewhere?

This made me laugh!!

Girl stop it right now! Who cares what she is? Did you marry her? Does she pay your bills? Were you on the clock working at her company?

In other words, she is a non factor in what you, an almost 40 year old woman, do in your own house. That is YOUR home, YOU decide what goes on there, and YOU are entitled to do whatever you want, including run around naked and douse yourself in booze if you so please.

You should have come out with the bottle and asked YOUR GUESTS IN YOUR HOME if anyone wanted a drink. Wave the options around and pour what they want. Copiously.

Anyone who doesn't like what you do in YOUR HOME, can get up and take their crusty butts home to THEIR HOUSE where they make the rules. Stop letting other people control you. You're acting like a 13 year old sneaking Dad's booze into your juice or something. Stop it.

Bottoms up!!!

FGS you're a grown-arse woman. If you want to have a drink, have a drink. You don't owe any other person an explanation. If MIL doesn't like it, she can FOTTFSOF.

For the record, I drink and so do my grown-up DCs. DH doesn't, but he isn't a sanctimonious twat about it, and is the first to offer family and friends a drink when they visit. Adults get to make their own choices in life.

Op I'm glad you told your Dh and are now on your way to getting help. Think of this as a wake up call of getting that help. It's the first step to trying to get control of your anxiety.

so you were in a different room, and pouring it into the glass hidden by a cupboard? - highly unlikely that she saw you.
so what that she is anti alcohol? you are an adult, and it was in your home, not hers. and it's not as if you were adding gin to your tea at 7am.

the only reason to give alcohol a swerve is if its the alcohol making you this paranoid, not the preferences of your MIL - or is the reason that you don't feel you should drink in her company is that she is a recovering alcoholic?