Does anyone ever regret having their baby or children

[emmie847]

In 2 minds about having children just want to know if yous ever have these thoughts

No, never. Regret is a strong word.

There are days when it's really, really fucking hard and I wish for a minute or so I could go back and just be me because I'm utterly exhausted and pulled in so many directions. But it's a fleeting feeling that doesn't last long. On balance, my kids bring me more joy and happiness than they do stress and exhaustion.

Lots of people do, its just not something that is talked about.

I don't regrety having my last child, wouldn't be without her. But objectively it was a terrible decision.

I came on to say pretty much this.

Nope. Never.

I often think about what life would be like if I hadn't had them, but wouldn't say I regret them. Do I wish things were different? Sometimes, mainly when I'm tired, frustrated or feeling overwhelmed. I don't regret my children but do mourn certain freedoms I lost when I had them, mainly when I'm trying to juggle childcare and working.

No, not exactly.

I miss certain things about my life pre-DS. But I think that's very different to regretting having him. If with the power of hindsight I had the opportunity to go back and make the decision again, I'd still make the same choice now.

If with the power of hindsight I had the opportunity to go back and make the decision again, I'd still make the same choice now.

Same. A million times over.

I read constantly on here that people would not have children if they had their time over again.

I feel guilty for bringing them into this world. I worry my eldest will have very unhappy all his life. So if I had my time again I wouldn’t have them.

If I had known what it was truly like, I wouldn't have had them.

It's not regret. It's much more complicated than that. I wish I'd understood more in advance, I wish I'd waited until I knew myself and the world better, I wish the world supported mothers better.
But I love them to bits and cannot regret that they exist. Honestly it's the hardest biggest decision you'll make. And no-one can make it for you.

If I had my time again I wouldn’t have had them.

It's not regret exactly. I just feel selfish for bringing them into this shitty world and with the climate situation, I think things are going to get very, very unpleasant in their lifetime. So for this reason, if I could go back, no I wouldn't have them. And I hope they don't have children - although I wouldn't say that to them directly.

I did in the first year as DS was a very challenging baby. However since he was 1 no I haven’t regretted it in the slightest and don’t miss my old life at all. He is the best thing that could ever have happened to me. I actively enjoy parenting, of course there are moments when it is hard but for me those moments are few and far between.

She is the biggest joy in my life and I can't imagine life without her now. She's exhausting and overwhelming but my life is so much fuller for having had her.

Loads of people regret it. There have been some very long threads on here about it. And I’m not sure it’s the last taboo people say it is, the prevailing narrative around parenthood is it ruins your body, finances, career, relationship, hobbies, social life, future, it sends mums screaming for wine o clock, no matter how hard you try your children will probably grow up horrible and hate you.

Being able to conceive doesn’t mean someone will either enjoying bringing up a child or be any good at it. Parents frequently hate, injure and kill their babies and children.

I’m a big fan but I have an easy healthy toddler and a supportive involved husband.

It’s not for everyone. Even when you’re very keen on the idea and have a partner or spouse who’s as enthusiastic it can go horribly wrong.

I have a few friends who definitely regret it and are angry and resentful of how their lives have changed. You can’t put them back if parenting isn’t what you were hoping for.

I'm sure some people do. But I absolutely don't regret having my DD. She has added so much to my life including friends that I would never have met without baby groups, schools etc. But I'm very glad I only had one, I think two would have been the wrong decision for me.

People do they just less likely to admit it. If I could go back in time I wouldn’t have had children.

No, never. No regrets whatsoever. Best thing in the whole wide world.

It's hard some days. And there are certainly times in most days when I get cross or frustrated or whatever (my kids are 2, 5 and 6 with only the eldest at school, so we are very much in the think of it) but I can't imagine my life without them. I don't even know who I would be to be honest. I was never especially maternal and didn't have my first child until I was 35, so it's not like I hadn't lived before, but they have given my life a meaning and a purpose that it never had before.

Doesn't mean they aren't incredibly annoying at times, mind you!

Absolutely not. Not for one second.

Absolutely not. Never. Would do it all again in a heartbeat. It's the best thing I've ever done. Honestly men, partners, husbands come and go....children never. Don't ever build your life around a man and a childfree by choice life.

Well he's gorgeous and amazing and I can't imagine life without him so not really. But I do sometimes miss the freedom I had before and I've always been a bit disappointed that I'm not better at being a mother. I thought I'd be a great mum and had all sorts of ideas but the reality is that I've often found it hard work and a bit of a struggle.

Nope.
It's bloody hard and is relentless but I never regret her