Does anyone ever regret having their baby or children

[emmie847]

In 2 minds about having children just want to know if yous ever have these thoughts

God no. Its been really hard at time but I've never wished or thought about what life would be like without him. It would be empty.
I've regretted marriage plenty of times but never DS 🤣

Yep definitely and most of mine are adults! Sure it's easier now but the worry etc. Why didn't I just get dogs???? Especially with how the world turned out and is going why would I want to subject more people to that against their will...

I used to always see people say "you never regret the kids you have only those you don't" it's absolutely untrue plenty of people regret.

I don't not love any of them I just think I'm not cut out for it. Hoping they don't go on to have any for many reasons but I'm not cut out for that role either.

Nope, I have always wanted kids. I told my DH when we started dating if he didn’t want kids we should call it quits…it’s a very strong urge for me.

Friends who have struggled don’t regret the kids but more what they have to give up. They liked going out for dinner, the freedom, the money and giving that up was a struggle.

There is days I just want a break but DH and I work together to make sure we have alone time, like I will book a spa break while my DH watches the kids.

Its also perfectly acceptable to not want kids, don’t feel pressurised by other peoples opinions. If you picture your life at 60/70 what would be your biggest regrets?

No, I don't regret it. There are hard days, hard weeks, hard phases, but I'd have them again if I got to do my life over. I think if I had very challenging DC though, or ones who I knew would never be able to live independently, I would feel very differently.

I absolutely do not regret having my DS as he is the best little person in the whole world, but I do find being a mother extremely hard and miss my pre baby life a lot and therefore wont be having a second child.

But it's very complex IMO as my pre baby life, the one I miss so often, also included yearning for a baby so I know if I didn't have him, I'd now be utterly, utterly miserable and very sad about the fact that I don't have a child.

If that makes sense to anybody...

@Giraffaelina

That makes perfect sense, and I can relate. If I hadn't had my DD I know I'd be yearning and thinking "what if..." now. I know that I'd have regretted not having her, but as hard as it is at times, I won't ever regret that she is now here. If that makes sense.

@BobbinHood

i feel the same way.

I don’t regret my DC, because I also don’t have the experiences so many have on here where they seem to only exist as a mother.

I occasionally feel nostalgic for my old life, but in honesty my livestock tie me down more than my daughter.

I love DD but do resent that we don't have the quality of life we had before her. We just spend so much on childcare that we don't have the freedom to go on days out and holidays like we used to. Of course this has coincided with the cost of living crisis which doesn't help. I don't think I expected such a massive change in lifestyle, we thought we would still afford some of what we used to do but it is a real stretch.

I don't regret it but I do miss my old life. It's very boring and stressful having a child (my son is 3). He is beautiful and funny but hard work.
My husband is having a vasectomy in 2 weeks, we are happy to be 1 and done.

Yeah it's not for me.

The sheer responsibility. The knowledge that you are creating a whole person for entirely selfish reasons. At best, a few happy years of childhood and then off you send this person into the world, which is an awful place, and they have to work and pay bills and possibly find happiness and possibly not and then die. It's not something I could get on board with.

I think as hard as it can be raising and having children it would be an awful life without them. I wish however I had chosen a more educated and solvent father of ds who hadn't already had a large number of them. I was not discerning enough in choice of father.

I don’t regret them now that they are actually here. They do bring me a lot of joy and I cannot imagine my life without them.

However, if I could go back in time I am not so sure I would make the same decisions again.

No. Sometimes I wish I’d waited an extra year or two and just enjoyed all the money and freedom that then just got poured into the sinkhole that is having children… I knew people who were having difficulty conceiving who told me to go for it sooner rather than later in case I had difficulties. It was good advice really but I didn’t have problems as it turned out so could have waited a little longer really. But then… I cannot fathom a world in which my oldest doesn’t exist and if I went back a million times I’d do it the same way just to have him. (I’m assuming in this scenario my second might have been my first child.)

One of the main reasons I know I'll never children is because I would rather regret not having children than have a child and regret it. That's not fair.

I do think being a parent is expected of everyone which is weird - not everyone is up to the task and I know I'm one of those people so I just won't.

No DD is the person I love most in the world any other love doesn't come close. . It's been difficult at times but never regret

You are being unreasonable for posting yet another thread about this very question, sorry. Just do what your gut instinct tells you to do. You may regret whatever choice you make.

I think as hard as it can be raising and having children it would be an awful life without them.
I'm shocked at how rude and unkind people are being towards those without kids on this thread. I think its totally unprovoked and uncalled for.
'An awful life'. God is that how some people must view my existence?

Me too.

'I'm shocked at how rude and unkind people are being towards those without kids on this thread'

I'm not shocked because I've seen it so many times before. Rude and unkind sums it up well

I have two living sons aged 4.5 and 5 months, I also have a dead son who would be 2 in July. I'm often exhausted and St the moment I have litke patience due to tiredness but I know it will get better when the bsby stops needing feeding every 2-3 hours and I finally get some sleep. I do not regret them at all, the only regret is that I didn't have a c section with my rudest, I ended up with forceps which caused pelvic organ prolapse which has really badly affected my life. I also wish I could go back in time and do something to make my eggs better in the hope that it would have prevented my dead sons body developing severe abnormalities.

Nope, don't regret my DC at all. They are absolutely my most favourite people in the world.

Realistically having a third was a daft idea, I don't regret it even though I can see my life would be easier or more simple without her.

I regret having children so young sometimes. I didn't know what freedom I had till it was gone. But I did fuck all before I had kids, I was a right lazy fucker. Having kids made me get off my arse and make something of my life. So I don't regret having them. I just know having them means there's other things I will never have and sometimes that's a slightly sad thing.

I don't refer my son. He is amazing and my entire world.

I regret having DD. Shouldn't have ever of had her. Big mistake but nothing I can do now except pretend I really don't feel that way

Never ever. I can understand how other people might due to their circumstances.

Sometimes yeah.

It has nothing to do with love @axolotlfloof

I dont regret them. I love them.

But if I had the choice again? Knowing how hard it is? I'm not sure.