To tell colleagues what happened with boss? Am I allowed to say if I’m still employed?

[SofieM0]

Grievance at work partially upheld. Advised (by friends, peers, other HR colleagues) not to appeal as it’s basically end of my career, outcome unlikely to change and I’d have to resign anyway.
Grievance against boss so he definitely has influence. It was a drunken verbal and physical attack, witnessed by many. I can’t stay in the job. Feel let down by company not to mention the working relationship is untenable for me.
AIBU to tell colleagues (inc other female direct reports to him) why I’m leaving, am I even allowed to whilst I’m still in employment? What about new employers, can I tell them the truth whilst I job search?
I’ve asked my HR but they’ve said they can’t discuss that until the grievance is formally closed (believe pushing me to not appeal).

Sadly I've seen this before & it usually boils down to you shutting up & then getting in return a good reference & them paying as small a settlement as they think they can get away with. I would just add a one liner 'FYI' in your next communication that you've been advised to report the assault to the Police. Don't put whether you will or wont. Should focus their minds re a good reference & a very healthy settlement.

Colleagues should be aware of someone at work who has been violent. Regardless of when and where. Seems to me basic health and safety to know of anything at risk to their health.

Only question is when to me.

Hi All. I’m not sure anyone is still watching this thread😂however I wanted to give an update. I got some great advice here and always love reading an update on old threads I’ve followed and forgotten about!

So I took the advice from @JennyForeigner & @PrincessPaws almost immediately- that’s why I remember your names but that’s not to say the rest of the advice was not the same or unhelpful (the opposite in fact!)

Instead of using ACAS I went straight to Yesslaw, submitted my grievance appeal at work and also submitted a data subject access request. Whilst they prepared for my appeal, I heard the DSAR was causing issues - not quite sure what but it ruffled feathers. The HR rep then called me to ask what did I want out of the situation - she said she was also resigning (unrelated) and that the appeal would likely be unsuccessful again and did I want to have a conversation without prejudice. I don’t know if she did that because she was leaving and wanted to help or if it was just part of the course and they do it with everyone. Either way she did actually leave.

I spoke with my lawyer and we decided to write an email to start a conversation without prejudice- thus pausing the appeal. As I said in my OPs, I didn’t want to stay anyway. It took 3 days from the initial without prejudice email to getting a settlement!! That included my lawyer reading emails and responding - the 2nd email was from me with my terms and package and the 3rd email being a negotiation from then and a final email of acceptance. I was absolutely gobsmacked, they one hundred percent wanted me gone! The contract being drawn up took a little longer but I was paid out in full within 21 days (whilst also on full pay gardening leave).

I had a 6 month clause of not being able to speak about it.

now for the twists…

1. the week after I left (I’d already been off gardening for 3 weeks!) said attacker did it again…but not to anyone oh no, to one of the few female witnesses I had!! But this time it was a sexual physical harassment. Can you believe it!!! She called me immediately and used my lawyer! Needless to say he was sacked the day after she submitted a grievance. We’ll, not needless because he should have been sacked previously.
2. last week the company calls me…your 6 months gag is up, we haven’t filled your role, attacker was sacked so will you come back? You can imagine where I told them to shove it!

that’s about it! Thanks once again if anyone ever reads the update for all your help advice and support! I did go back to work recently and I’m now with a great (albeit much smaller and unknown) company. 🙌

Good outcome. Well done

Glad karma finally prevailed. Absolutely disgusted the employer took so long to fire him. What a cheek they had to offer you a job after treating you so badly!

Thanks for the update!

@BornBlonde I know! I had a good laugh about that. I did check if I was to accept, would they want the settlement money back and they said no, I can keep it (gee thanks!) but then went onto say I’d have to go back onto the starting wage (a big pay cut) 😂😂😂 absolute jokers!!

So pleased to read your update.
Can’t believe they had the brass neck to ask you back!

Glad you got a good outcome in this x

I hate how sexual discrimination or harassment is handled at workplaces. It’s like no one agrees with the male attacker’s actions, but it’s easier to get rid of the female victim as no one wants to get involved in such a situation and just want an easy work life. its awful as the victim didn’t ask to be placed in the situation either but get treated like an inconvenience for calling it out

Well done for standing up for yourself. Your actions very likely inspired your colleague to stand up for herself too and made sure this scumbag got what was coming to him even if it was later than it should have been.

I'm so relieved that this worked out for you as I did wonder.

I'll let you know when I get my jaw winched back up after learning that they not only called you to offer the position back but with the added cherry of a staring salary.

I wonder how much longer they can survive with perspectives like that and such poor handling of employees.

Wow what an outcome. They really were a colossal load of arseholes and I hope the other woman sues the bollocks off them for her entirely preventable incident. I do wonder if he's done this to anyone before and whether any other women have just been "managed out" of the team. I'm just thinking if they had acted properly in the first place they could have avoided a repeat/escalation of his behaviour.
But why on Earth would they think you were sitting around waiting for them to offer your old job back? Surely no one is that self-absorbed? Bunch of twits.

That's horrific, if I was the the second female employee I would be taking them to the cleaners. He was a known risk to women and they did nothing and allowed him to do it again. Not only that he clearly learnt nothing and didn't even bide his time before attacking again. Dangerous dangerous man.

please can both of you consider reporting it to the police. It's really important that even if he gets nothing more than a slap on the wrist from the police that it is documented that he has a history of physical and sexual abuse against women.

@PeekabooAtTheZoo absolutely she is suing. He has done it before, obvs none of this was kept as quiet as the company hoped and several others have come forward - unfortunately they hadn’t raised a grievance so went unreported. But who would blame them after this shit show. @200degrees completely agree, and this is why so few do raise an issue 😫
@EmbarrassingHadrosaurus its going to be my my Christmas party joke this year!!! My mouth has yet to close after that convo 😂

It has been reported to police from the second female and part of her case. I believe it’s quite a hurdle though as she’s UK based and he’s a US citizen and based there too. I’m not sure what the process is but she tells me it’s complex, which I imagine it will be.

I've never met you, but so proud of you.

Well done for standing up for yourself and women everywhere. This goes on at too many places and is just swept under the carpet.

Well Done OP! Loved the update

This is the best update ever (apart from the sexual attack on colleague).

So happy for you. I hope it's a significant settlement?

I was reading the thread thinking I recognise something like this from before! And it is…
op I’m so happy for you.
I no we can’t but them being such a big company I really want to no who these toe rags are. It’s disgusting. Especially if they are making lots of money and inside the doors is this type of thing.
I went through similar with someone and watched the pressures they were put under and it was awful.and clearly they were getting away with shitting on them because of how “big” they were.

Wow what an update! all those twists! I'm so glad it's worked in your favour, and I hope you got peace of mind - really hope the new job is great!

what do they propose to do about the grievance that they have upheld? Will they move you to another manager?

I would appeal anyway- nothing to lose if you propose to leave anyway.

if they haven’t done anything effective about your manager in response to your grievance and you feel you have no option but to resign you may be able to claim unfair dismissal on the basis of being constructively dismissed. Please get legal advice on your circumstances.

so sorry this has happened to you op - hope it works out

Amazing update OP! Bloody well done!

@SueVineer read the whole thread, you will be very happy.

Amazing update.

Was alcohol a contributing factor both times? I'm starting to see why some large companies are becoming alcohol free sites

I usually just skim through mumsnet topics but this one caught my attention and I ve read all the way through and am so glad you ve come back with an update. It must have been such a difficult time for you but I m so glad everything has worked out well for you and total respect to you for taking this all the way, thankfully now justice seems to have been done. Wishing you all the best