To tell colleagues what happened with boss? Am I allowed to say if I’m still employed?

[SofieM0]

Grievance at work partially upheld. Advised (by friends, peers, other HR colleagues) not to appeal as it’s basically end of my career, outcome unlikely to change and I’d have to resign anyway.
Grievance against boss so he definitely has influence. It was a drunken verbal and physical attack, witnessed by many. I can’t stay in the job. Feel let down by company not to mention the working relationship is untenable for me.
AIBU to tell colleagues (inc other female direct reports to him) why I’m leaving, am I even allowed to whilst I’m still in employment? What about new employers, can I tell them the truth whilst I job search?
I’ve asked my HR but they’ve said they can’t discuss that until the grievance is formally closed (believe pushing me to not appeal).

Did you have a personal relationship with him?

Hi All
Quick update whilst I wait for people to call me back…
@TempName01 no personal relationship, I have only ever ‘met’ previously via Teams due to lockdown.

Called in sick. Waiting for doctors to get back to me.
Drafted appeal letter
Spoke to ACAS, spoke to home insurance legal (but rubbish) and waiting for a call back from LeighDay (thanks to PP who recommend). If I don’t hear anything I’m going to try Yesslaw (again thanks for recommendation).

Reading through everything multiple times I’ve realised that instead of answering all my sex discrimination points as that, they’ve pulled each one out and added it to a different point so it’s not answered.
eg. Upheld the inappropriate physical restraint (which they included a comment about it not occurring if I was a man) but don’t class that as a sex discrimination. Whereas my original statement was about it all happening in the first place because I was female. That was my issue!
I didn’t clearly state that in my initial statement tho - I’ve been discriminated against because I am female - due to only being asked to detail the events in a timeline. I wasn’t thinking. So I just detailed what happened and when. Rather than setting out as a grievance (didn’t know at this point it would be a grievance)

and for those that have asked this was a meeting and work social event. Organised and paid for by work.

Good progress OP!

look at the lawyer posters’ points above.

Good progress OP!

look at the lawyer posters’ points above.

Sorry that doesn’t make sense on reading back.
My original complaint was for sex discrimination. None of what happened would have happened to a man. There were multiple mentions of pregnancy/maternity/being in a lower job because I was female/all physical contact wouldn’t have happened if I was male (admitted by them).
however when I wrote my statement they advised just to detail what happened in order.
it was not set out like a grievance letter. None of my grievances were numbered nor explicit.
next thing i knew - it was a grievance and I was being interviewed. I was actually happy with this.
on outcome letter they’ve decided on what my grievances points were and answered them so.
so I’ve myself up there…
although I will add to appeal that it wasn’t a grievance letter if legal advises so.

do you have a union that you can speak to?

I'm sorry, I know it is a common misconception from people on here but an ET1 really doesn't scare anyone shitless (nor do letters from solicitors)

OP, you can write to them and tell them that you are intending to appeal but also informing them that you will provide your full grounds for appeal shortly if you can’t put together everything before the 5 day appeal deadline. But in all honesty they’d be on very dodgy ground refusing to hear an appeal just because it was submitted slightly late - as long as you provide the grounds “without unreasonable delay” then legally they will still have to address it.

FWIW it’s fairly common for a grievance to be “partially upheld” when a company knows that they hold some liability. Tactically they feel that upholding part of a complaint is enough to placate the employee, whilst also attempting to swerve liability.

If you are looking to bring a claim then please do seek legal advice first as the advice you’ve had on limitation periods here isn’t correct!

Update - I spoke to HR and my intent to appeal so that I could confirm appeal deadline. They said straight away that if I feel I have to leave, they will go ahead and arrange a WP meeting and facilitate a settlement agreement. So they know...I am waiting on legal companies to call back to help with that.
I didn't need to say anything at all, it was offered immediately!!!

If you decide to take a settlement, don't assume their offer is fair. My darling of the industry employer with multiple awards for best place to work etc offered me what they said was "fair". As I had nothing to lose I countered with a much higher figure and we settled on a little over double their original offer.

What is really disgusting about this is that they are effectively willing to pay you off to protect a bully. He assaulted you, they have witnesses. They know it happened. But they want you to go quietly and to keep him.

Wow. Whilst you are the victim here they are clearly signalling that they are choosing to keep your boss over you. I assume he must either be a technical expert or have specific information that gives him leverage. Very unprofessional.

Only you can decide how much time and effort you are prepared to put into this. If you can get another job a settlement agreement might be the right option. However, you would have a lot of support on MN if you decide to pursue this but don’t underestimate how stressful it will be.

@Level75 gave really good advice and you have also sought specific advice.

Good luck.

This company (a household name you said? ) sounds unbelievably shit. That very important twat male manager should have been sacked. He brought the company into disrepute not you! Absolutely disgusting. I hope you take them to the cleaners.

Doesn’t surprise me at all unfortunately - have seen this happen more than once. Leave, but get as much money out of them as you can (police involvement may help here, hiring a lawyer will definitely help).

It is absolutely unbelievable. But it isn't. It happened to me too (with a female boss, so different issues, but still, why keep her and pay thousands to pay people off).

Anyone who works in HR - tell us why you support this. Why don't you sack perpetrators, rather than paying people off?

OP if they offer you a settlement you should accept no less than six months' net pay. Given there's a sex discrimination angle here you could get a year in my view. But six months minimum.

Yes I’m going to get a lawyer, tried 3 today and waiting for call backs from them all.

You must appeal

then you get legal advice leave and sue for constructive dismissal

failing to appeal will lessen the potential award should you win at tribunal

God i didn’t read the full thread. They are already offering a settlement? You’ll have to get legal advice in that anyway by law. Maybe take a settlement but get a solicitor and push for loads. Cannot believe they will protect a violent bully. They are in huge breach of thier duty of care

The idea that they will pay you off in order to keep a disgusting man like this on board is really awful. If you do sign something then you will have to promise not to talk about it. If you're going to talk about it, I would do that now.

I hope you have started off the sar request too like others suggested. You need to quickly. They only get 30 days to action it too.

Make sure you have an independent solicitor of your choice for the agreement.

HR will not be happy with this situation, but will have been told by senior managers to make it go away. HR will advise the correct procedure, but senior managers protect their own and HR mop up the mess. If it ends up at ET then HR get blamed even though they set out the correct course of action.

Reporting to the police, going on with the appeal and lodging an ET1 will strengthen HRs hand in insisting the boss is subject to disciplinary action and potential dismissal.

They should be paying around £250- £500 towards your legal costs should you pursue the compromise agreement. This is normal practice so make sure that’s built in.
Additionally you should ensure you have sight of and input to the content of a reference for any future employer...again this is normal practice and is usually built into the written / legal documentation of any compromise agreement. giving you peace of mind going forward.
Good luck with it all !!

Sounds like this HR dept are utterly incompetent. The managers manager should have been the one who heard the grievance so again screams incompetence from mgmt level. .Senior l/ship in this organisation need sight of what is actually going on further down the line in their business,Mgnt,HR the lot!! ..I’m sure board members would be utterly horrified which is why they need to know. Sounds like they have the blinkers on and need to have an awareness of the culture thats manifested and that’s placing their business at huge risk

Please be careful though up.by signing a settlement there is often nda clause.this literally means telling no one.wven writing this on here you'd be breaking it.family too.anyone.it can feel harder and harder and more like injustice if he paid and your mouth taped shut.its violating and feels so hurtful.or can do so make sure u read what settlement means for you.and would you want justice,to warn others,for them to pay for their crimes! Bad means they get away with it.again.