To sneak away in the night from neighbours

[Ohnonevermind]

We’ve had a hard few years with difficult neighbours. We’ve kept our heads down but unfortunately they’ve suffered some really bad luck in the last few years and are projecting onto me in particular. I have had some unwarranted abuse hurled at me over the last few years. It was mainly low level stuff but it drags you slowly down.
I don’t walk out of my house any more
and drive past theirs (detached houses in the countryside) so covid has been fun.

During the last year they’ve escalated it massively including them wanting to speak to me to tell me what they think of me 🤷‍♀️ I would explain further but it’s massively outing (I know that phrase is maddening)

But a fabulous house has come up 6 miles away. It’s perfect for us and we don’t have to sell our house to finance it. It’s got all the stuff we put into our house (a forever home) too

The amazing thing is secretly we’re signing next week (10 minute viewing was enough) it’s nearer family. We’ve just checked with family if they’d be happy (they’re delighted) but we’re keeping it low key until the deal is done.

AIBU to slip away in the night, part of me thinks I should tell my neighbours we are leaving but I worry it might escalate issues on their side.

I’m so secretly happy, every time I looked out my window and saw their house it dragged me down, now it makes me smile.

I wouldn't sneak away (for once, my username is apt for the situation), but just don't tell them.

Let them find out if and when they see the removal vans. If they kick off, then you're leaving in a couple of hours. If they don't then there's no problem, but don't sneak off as though you're in the wrong.

I don't understand why you think you should tell them?
If they've been so unpleasant to you, you owe them nothing.

If you don't get on, why would they need to know?? Just go and enjoy your beautiful new home.

I'd just go. Absolutely none of their beeswax.

None of their business.

One of our neighbours did this recently.
Had a fall out with the people adjoining (a semi). They had no for sale sign on the house but I've been looking at houses because I want to move and spotted it online. I noticed them moving bits little by little over several weeks until they finally stopped coming back.

I don't know why you think you need to tell them. I am good friends with one neighbour and would tell them, the other just say hello and wouldn't bother to tell them.....

This is possibly part of your problem, why are you so wrapped up in other people's lives? There is absolutely no need whatsoever to tell them anything about your life.

I wouldn't even think twice about telling them. Just go, it's none of their business

Don't give them any more thought. Pity the new owners of your house though .... am looking for a house at present and dreading crap neighbours like these.

Not sure what the quandary is, you just move house. The end.

Are you related to these neighbours in some way? I.e - why have you had to sign the paperwork 'secretly' its not like neighbours would usually have any way of knowing.

6 miles in the countryside is like moving to the next street. What are you planning to do with your current house?

Our neighbour did this, no falling out, friendly enough but not buddies. Happened to notice the removal van one morning, thought he might knock to say goodbye, he didn't; we thought it unusual, but as we hadn't been that close, it didn't really concern us that much, it was his own business.

Walk away & say nothing. They don't need to know & you don't need to tell.

What do you hope to achieve by telling them

@WalkWithDignityAndPride

I wouldn't sneak away (for once, my username is apt for the situation), but just don't tell them.

Let them find out if and when they see the removal vans. If they kick off, then you're leaving in a couple of hours. If they don't then there's no problem, but don't sneak off as though you're in the wrong.

This sums it up.

@Glittertwins

She’s ill at the moment ( that’s my fault too) so I guess I just wanted to be nice.

Get a pile of manure delivered to your garden before you leave.
Put free to collectors on Gumtree...

Why would you either tell them or sneak away
You are over thinking this
Just move like anyone else would

@tobedtoMN

A bit tone deaf when some are choosing whether to heat or eat 🙄

You forgot to mention Ukraine

@tobedtoMN

I stand at my kitchen sink and regularly cry, I’ve had numerous panic attacks, so I don’t feel that I’m rubbing anyone nose in anything.

I’m just celebrating getting away

Thanks everyone, we’ll just go.

They’ll find out quickly enough.
I’m just crossing everything that it happens

So just go then? There's no need to announce it to the parish. If you don't like them, don't tell them. I think I must be missing something.

@Ohnonevermind, I get that illness makes people not so nice but it sounds like they've driven you away and this has built up over a long time. You owe her and her illness nothing.

Wonderful news OP. Yes just move. I hope the new house is happy and healthy for you and that the new neighbours are lovely

@tobedtoMN

A bit tone deaf when some are choosing whether to heat or eat 🙄

Dear God! Are people not allowed to move house now! I want to spend £80 on a pair of shoes because I can - is that a crime because I dont need to choose between eating and heating. We all lead different lives and have different financial situations.