To sneak away in the night from neighbours

[Ohnonevermind]

We’ve had a hard few years with difficult neighbours. We’ve kept our heads down but unfortunately they’ve suffered some really bad luck in the last few years and are projecting onto me in particular. I have had some unwarranted abuse hurled at me over the last few years. It was mainly low level stuff but it drags you slowly down.
I don’t walk out of my house any more
and drive past theirs (detached houses in the countryside) so covid has been fun.

During the last year they’ve escalated it massively including them wanting to speak to me to tell me what they think of me 🤷‍♀️ I would explain further but it’s massively outing (I know that phrase is maddening)

But a fabulous house has come up 6 miles away. It’s perfect for us and we don’t have to sell our house to finance it. It’s got all the stuff we put into our house (a forever home) too

The amazing thing is secretly we’re signing next week (10 minute viewing was enough) it’s nearer family. We’ve just checked with family if they’d be happy (they’re delighted) but we’re keeping it low key until the deal is done.

AIBU to slip away in the night, part of me thinks I should tell my neighbours we are leaving but I worry it might escalate issues on their side.

I’m so secretly happy, every time I looked out my window and saw their house it dragged me down, now it makes me smile.

Very strange post

@tobedtoMN

A bit tone deaf when some are choosing whether to heat or eat 🙄

Yes, nobody should ever ask for advice unless they don't have a pot to piss in 🙄 to you.

You only need to declare disputes if you logged anything with police or the council.
Please don’t make your life harder unless necessary.

Fwiw I suggest you take this one further…
I did similar with my flat… I knew my neighbours would be difficult they barely worked and like yours had too much time on their hands.
I did not put up a for sale sign and I did the viewings myself (it’s extreeeeemely easy you say nothing much and they assume you are an EA.. if they say about offers you just say oh I just do viewings if you call the office they will handle that”)
The fact they didn’t know meant they couldn’t ruin viewings or make my life harder…

They found my DH with a moving box in his hand the day we were moving. They were dumbfounded and when they asked DH he just said “yes ”

If they are that bad I would honestly try and time renting it out to toughly the same time you move out (put a 6 months break clause in so, if for some mad reason you want to, you can move back fairly soonish).
But by the viewings to rent BEFORE you move out you take away their opportunity to mess that with viewings and make problems for you

Don't say anything. Then rent the old house to students who will play loud music and have mates round at all hours. I might even contribute a party wall mounted speaker to the cause.

There's no need to talk at all to your weird neighbours. They've never shown you any courtesy so there's no need to interact with them if you don't have to. It is important to be kind to others but that doesn't mean you should volunteer for unpleasantness.

Consider selling rather than renting out your current house because they might end up hounding your tenants too and making complaints that you will have to deal with.

I apologise profusely for all the typos in my post, OP

Baffling you no so much about them

They Don’t work
No financial worries
Lots of time on their hands
The woman is Ill atm

Find the OP confusing.

We get on fine with our neighbours - a few pleasantries in the street every so often but that’s it. We’re not friends. We won’t be keeping in touch if any of us move. So I would certainly not go out of my way to tell them if we were moving. Because we chat occasionally, I might mention it to them if we happen to be chatting. But I certainly wouldn’t feel any obligation to do so.

That would go double if we had had run ins with them. Those occasional pleasantries simply wouldn’t be happening so there would be no chance for it to come up casually and I sure as hell wouldn’t be seeking out an opportunity to tell them.

So no, you don’t need to tell them at all. You have no obligation to them even if they were perfectly pleasant neighbours, let alone if they’ve been horrid.

But I’m not sure why you’d think the only alternative is to sneak away? Just move as you normally would. It’s none of their business. Ignore them if they kick off.

Know

You are making this into a way bigger problem than it actually is.

[quote Ohnonevermind]@Herejustforthisone

They don’t have a key, we’re not related. I went to a toddler group and left the back door unlocked for a delivery. They walked in through the unlocked door.[/quote]
You went out
And left a key in your back door?!

Why didn’t you just leave unlocked?
And what did you expect your neighbours to do? Were the delivery company going to call them to say delivery arrived? And then what did you expect neighbours to do?

@dancer47

They don’t have my keys, my SIL has my spare key who also lives in my town but about 4 miles away.

I’ve my neighbour on the other sides key, she lives in the U.K. and is travel restricted so I check her house for her (oil/heating etc) with her full consent and let in workmen etc . If she lived here we would swap keys.

Go for it, and best of luck in your new home.

You left a key IN your back door

How do you know they went in
And what did they do when in?

I’m glad you have a way out OP and I hope the sale completes smoothly. In the kindest way, you are looking for problems here. You’re that set in a mindset of having issues that your brain can’t be calm and positive. Don’t sneak out, you’ve done nothing wrong. They will notice, let them, if they ask be bright and breezy in your reply- not chatty just ‘You have no power over me’ kind of tone.

@Pluvia

Strange post, OP. You've had a problem, you've found a solution and now you've invented a non-existent problem to enable you to tell us how hard-done-by you've been — you with your two perfect forever-home detached houses. Hmmm...

Thank you!

Yes. Do a midnight flit and leave them scratching their heads in the morning. Could you get a removal van after dark though?

They’re nosy busy bodies with too much time on their hands.
You don’t like them.
You move and don’t have to tell them diddly squat.

I don’t understand the need for this post. Are you planning to drop feed us a backstory?

Seems like too much drama over nothing or do you need therapy to deal with your inability to enforce healthy boundaries and lack of confidence/self esteem?

I’m really struggling to work out why you’re tying yourself up in knots over this. If they don’t like you, and you don’t like them why are you even thinking of telling them? Why are you giving them this much headspace? This is really weird, just move and forget your terrible neighbours like most people do.

I would be tempted to tell them exactly what I think of them as I am leaving with my full furniture van

Be happy in your new place and don’t forget to redirect your post and don’t tell the new buyers your new address. 💐

@tara66

You know you have to pay Capital Gains Tax now if you buy a new house and do not sell existing one within (I think it is) 9 months? Do not obsess about your neighbours. Also be careful re. neighbours and the truthful form you are required to complete for buyers.

Wrong.

You pay CGT and can claim back your payment if you sell within THREE YEARS.

@tobedtoMN

A bit tone deaf when some are choosing whether to heat or eat 🙄

Oh for goodness sake. Grow up. It is possible to have a concern, even if you can afford to eat.

No need to say anything to them. If they spot you with moving boxes, say ‘yes we are moving’ and leave it at that. Sell the old place to a property developer who wants to turn it into an HMO or turn it into an Airbnb.