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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what it's like if you're very attractive?!

221 replies

ImHavingAnOldFriendForDinner · 09/04/2022 22:11

Is it amazing? Hard work? Annoying?

But if a weird question I know but I'm on holiday at the moment and surrounded by very attractive women (and men), seriously they are everywhere! Women with amazing bodies, beautiful faces and lovely suntans 😂 I'm a fat, pale 40 something in and out of the pool with the kids trying to hide my size under a baggy Tankini and a beach cover up dreaming of looking like these women. So me and dh were talking and I said I wonder what it's like to be beautiful, he reckons it must be quite powerful to know that everyone is looking at you and thinking "wow" but I'm not sure.. I reckon you must be judged unfairly by men and women but equally it must be amazing to pull something out of your wardrobe and just know that you're going to look good in it!

Is it harder or easier professionally?

There is one woman here who walks her baby round and round the pool every afternoon in the pushchair to get him to sleep and she has this tiny bikini on but just walks and looks so confident. I'm not sure I'd be that confident even if I did look like her!

Just sitting here wondering before I have squeeze into something for dinner that won't make me sweat 😂

OP posts:
Orangutanteddy · 09/04/2022 22:23

Ask Samantha Brick.

Original poster
ImHavingAnOldFriendForDinner · 09/04/2022 22:33

Who?!

OP posts:
ThreeLittleDots · 09/04/2022 22:35

A sizable percentage seem to assume you're a bitch and men stare at your tits.

Original poster
ImHavingAnOldFriendForDinner · 09/04/2022 22:35

Just googled her, never heard of her! She also looks nothing like the women I'm talking about sitting round the pool in Dubai!!

OP posts:
Original poster
ImHavingAnOldFriendForDinner · 09/04/2022 22:37

@ThreeLittleDots

A sizable percentage seem to assume you're a bitch and men stare at your tits.
See that's what I was thinking but my dh seems to reckon it's always wonderful, must admit I slightly judged baby woman as she had her nose in the air but then maybe that's because of the confidence that comes with looking like her 🤷‍♀️
OP posts:
Whelmed · 09/04/2022 22:38

I wouldn't know but I've worked/been friends with some really pretty women and it seemed it was a lot of work just because of the amount of men chatting them up.

MurmuratingStarling · 09/04/2022 22:39

It's a hard cross to bear, but I get by. Grin

Sweetpeasaremadeofcheese · 09/04/2022 22:40

Women would call me a slut on the street and constant sex pests. Being followed home, men trying to pull you into cars, endless flashers and being “accidentally" touched in public. I don't think I was amazingly beautiful either. I'm later 30's now and I am enjoying becoming more invisible. Feels safer.

bellsbuss · 09/04/2022 22:41

I find women don't like me until they get to know me then realise I'm just normal and down to earth.

smoocakes6 · 09/04/2022 22:42

Here come the men in black 👽😅

OfstedOffred · 09/04/2022 22:43

I had a brief period early 20s where I reckon I peaked physically- i was slim & in good shape due to sports hobbies, and while I wouldnt say I had a classically beautiful face, I think your face looks as good at 22 as it ever will - I had clear skin, was pretty much always lightly tanned due to being outdoors & abroad a lot, pretty even features, good teeth etc. I was also at a time in life when everything was stress free and light hearted and I think that enhances any face.

I remember not really ever worrying about what I would wear and be very confident in my appearance. I had a boyfriend (now DH!) but got hit on quite a bit on nights out.

Depressingly I definitely think it helped me get my job on a graduate scheme. Once I had worked there a few years I realised the guy who interviewed me tended to choose the blonde women every year Sad.

VanLife · 09/04/2022 22:43

I'm just jealous your having a holiday in Dubai! Enjoy ☀️🌴🌊🍹

Lalliella · 09/04/2022 22:43

@MurmuratingStarling

It's a hard cross to bear, but I get by. Grin
Dammit @MurmuratingStarling I came on here to say almost those identical words! Beautiful minds think alike I guess!
Dairymilk50 · 09/04/2022 22:45

I don't know it's not me I'm afraid.

But I have met humble people who are unaware of how beautiful they are!

OfstedOffred · 09/04/2022 22:45

Oh and I had quite a lot of bad experiences involving men trying to take photos up my skirt, getting groped on the tube etc. Oddly enough that never happens now I'm late 30s and a bit overweight with 2 kids and the lack of sleep is all ever my face.....

TerraNovaTwo · 09/04/2022 22:46

I get comments all the time from other women about how skinny I am, how there's hardly any of me, etc... when in reality I'm a tall and curvy size 12-14 and weigh around 165lbs. I have a nice athletic figure, I'm not underweight.

Original poster
ImHavingAnOldFriendForDinner · 09/04/2022 22:46

@VanLife

I'm just jealous your having a holiday in Dubai! Enjoy ☀️🌴🌊🍹
Thanks @VanLife never been before and it was a bit of a treat as we haven't been away forever but it's a weird old place and hot!! Not complaining at all though, feeling very lucky but very unattractive 🤣
OP posts:
Original poster
ImHavingAnOldFriendForDinner · 09/04/2022 22:50

@Dairymilk50

I don't know it's not me I'm afraid.

But I have met humble people who are unaware of how beautiful they are!

Yes @Dairymilk50 there is a Mum at school who is lovely and just seems effortlessly beautiful but whenever you chat to her she apologises for the state of her (4 kids under 8) and brushes compliments off. It's like she doesn't see what other people see.
OP posts:
Original poster
ImHavingAnOldFriendForDinner · 09/04/2022 22:53

@OfstedOffred

Oh and I had quite a lot of bad experiences involving men trying to take photos up my skirt, getting groped on the tube etc. Oddly enough that never happens now I'm late 30s and a bit overweight with 2 kids and the lack of sleep is all ever my face.....
@OfstedOffred that's really awful.
OP posts:
Original poster
ImHavingAnOldFriendForDinner · 09/04/2022 22:55

@smoocakes6

Here come the men in black 👽😅
@smoocakes6 huh?!
OP posts:
VanLife · 09/04/2022 22:55

@ImHavingAnOldFriendForDinner there's more to life than being attractive. Like traveling and going to places you havnt seen before. Don't waste it sitting there comparing yourself to other people, go and have an adventure in a country you've not been to before! Your experience is what's beautiful.

Iamthewombat · 09/04/2022 22:57

Whilst never in the supermodel league I am good looking and confident. I was probably at my best in my thirties. It was great. No complaints from me. I used to love getting stopped in the street by men telling me I was gorgeous, or whatever. I’m 50 now, so those days are gone, but I still like the feeling of power when I’m looking good and attract attention for it.

Never had any bother from other women. It made life easier professionally because male colleagues were keener to work with me on stuff. Not because they fancied me necessarily but because I’m afraid that quite a few men like doing favours for pretty women.

microbius · 09/04/2022 22:58

People look different fully clothed. By the pool, people confident of their bodies will hold themselves well; they might not necessarily look the same way when at work in some rainy place in GB

Beauty can be very different; some attracts, some makes people take a step back. Generally, there are studies that show that taller, slimmer and good looking people get more promotions at work and climb career ladders quicker

zigzagzigzagz · 09/04/2022 22:58

There can be downsides, I know a friend used to get hit on by colleagues, her boss, and in another place her boss’s husband etc. All led to difficult work environments. Followed by men a lot while out and about and chased while out running and physically assaulted too.

When I was with her you could see people responded to her differently (I am no looker!) so there are obviously definitely positives too.

Puppylucky · 09/04/2022 23:01

Ah well you're experiencing the oddness of Dubai! Most of the women you are seeing are travelling wives or girlfriends who literally have nothing else to do but make themselves look gorgeous. There are usually a high proportion of Arab women as well who place a very high premium on looking perfect at all times. Don't bother to compete as they aren't the real world!