To ask what it's like if you're very attractive?!

[ImHavingAnOldFriendForDinner]

Is it amazing? Hard work? Annoying?

But if a weird question I know but I'm on holiday at the moment and surrounded by very attractive women (and men), seriously they are everywhere! Women with amazing bodies, beautiful faces and lovely suntans 😂 I'm a fat, pale 40 something in and out of the pool with the kids trying to hide my size under a baggy Tankini and a beach cover up dreaming of looking like these women. So me and dh were talking and I said I wonder what it's like to be beautiful, he reckons it must be quite powerful to know that everyone is looking at you and thinking "wow" but I'm not sure.. I reckon you must be judged unfairly by men and women but equally it must be amazing to pull something out of your wardrobe and just know that you're going to look good in it!

Is it harder or easier professionally?

There is one woman here who walks her baby round and round the pool every afternoon in the pushchair to get him to sleep and she has this tiny bikini on but just walks and looks so confident. I'm not sure I'd be that confident even if I did look like her!

Just sitting here wondering before I have squeeze into something for dinner that won't make me sweat 😂

Used to get a lot of attention when younger, I came to rely on it to be honest for validation which isn't great. It's less so now I'm late 40s! However I've always been slim and fairly toned. I get a lot of snark from other women about that.

I have some friends who are well and truly stunning. But one has a nightmare with boyfriends they're just not that nice to her and very possessive. She's pretty much resigned herself to being single.

I have another friend who thinks she's more attractive than she actually is and thinks all men fancy her. It's a bit embarrassing to be honest as she thinks they'll fall at her feet and run round after her because of her perceived good looks. Bit shallow to be honest.

Honestly it’s hard work and very uncomfortable for me. The beeping of their horns, being stared at as if I’ve got something on my face, being followed around in the supermarket aisles ,the assumption that it’s only beauty and no brains so not taken seriously. Once I was talking to a guy about something serious and I posed a question to him. His reply: ‘am only listening to you because you’re pretty’
Many times in face to face convo with women I’ve been interrupted and told ‘wow you’re really beautiful’. And I 🤔 hmm are you following at all?

Yes there’s the other side of holding doors, letting you in front of them in a queue etc but
it’s sad when even close friends say things like “oh but you’re attractive so…” as if that’s the solution to life’s problems. Not to mention my older sister has always been jealous of me and growing up she would gang up with her school friends and tried to bully me but thankfully I’ve always been as tough as nails. She still is but I’ve learned to feel empathy for. She’s by no means ugly just that I’ve always been the more beautiful one between us.

For me it’s always been a two-edged sword

I'm not classically beautiful but I'm often told that I'm beautiful by friends and strangers. I'm mixed race with brown hair, light brown eyes, and olive skin, and I find that different people perceive me in very different ways. Some people think that I'm just white British, while others see me as Mediterranean or mixed race. Likewise, some people think that I'm beautiful, and will come up to me in the street to tell me so, but I don't think that I'm universally appealing (e.g. some people prefer the blonde hair, blue eyes look). It's funny how different people can perceive you so differently, especially when you are racially ambiguous. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

I'm in my 30s and I think that I look better now than I did in my 20s, despite that fact that I'm not as thin as I was then, because over the years I've learned what suits me and I have a better sense of style etc.

I think that the main down side is being objectified by men. Also I've sometimes felt that I've not been taken as seriously in the workplace as men, and less attractive female colleagues.

A lot of sexual harassment. Been sexually harassed or propositioned in every job I've ever had.

I was pretty ugly in my teens and twenties but still got tons of unwanted male attention so I don't think that's down to looks.

I had corrective surgery at 30 and get told a lot I am very attractive, I still feel like the awkward looking 20 year old though.

I was asked a lot to why I was with my ex, what I saw in him, people told him all the time that he was punching. I got accused of being a coke whore because why else would I be with a less attractive bloke! It was horrible and god knows how he dealt with it!

I wouldnt say I was anything out of the ordinary now but when I was in my late teens and early 20s I got a LOT of attention from men. I did have an absolutely knock out figure in those days (tiny waist, long slim legs, biggish hips and boobs) I had long blond hair and large blue eyes. I supposed I fitted the barbie stereotype and did make effort with my appearance with make up etc.

I can honestly say that it was more trouble then it was worth. I was an magnet for sleazy gropey men and men who wanted a pretty little trophy on their arm. I was harassed in the street everyday, men shouting and jeering out of cars at me, men stopping me in the street, getting followed home, people staring. I wasn’t comfortable with it at all. Some other young women were also quite hostile to me, I think they assumed I was stuck up but in reality I had little confidence in myself.

I didn’t have a serious boyfriend until I was in my mid 20s and had gained a bit of weight. I don’t think the decent guys could get to me through the sea of sleaze! I think there some advantages, I would occasionally get drinks sent over to me in bars and there was always someone ready to open a door for me or help my lift a case onto a train but how much is that really worth when you don’t feel safe in the street?

Surely if someone is being harrassed they can put their long blonde hair out of sight by putting it up, getting it cut short, wearing baggy t shirts, leave off the make up.
It's a bit ''poor little me'. I get that they shouldn't have to but if it's such a hassle do something to change.
I had long blonde hair for a number of years and got wolf whistles and comments. They stopped when it was short.

@Polyanthus2

Surely if someone is being harrassed they can put their long blonde hair out of sight by putting it up, getting it cut short, wearing baggy t shirts, leave off the make up. It's a bit ''poor little me'. I get that they shouldn't have to but if it's such a hassle do something to change. I had long blonde hair for a number of years and got wolf whistles and comments. They stopped when it was short.

What ? Are you mad ? So are these ladies responsible for getting raped too ? Outrageous comment. Must have been written to provoke a reaction.

In my 20s I was a blue eyed brunette with clear skin and a nice slim figure. But I was very shy. The men I found attractive generally didn’t find me attractive. I suppose I was not their type.

All I can think of is how many of them around the pool are Dubai Porta potties?

I had a friend who was truly beautiful- she lit up the room when she walked in, and was a really nice person also. 3 weeks ago she walked into the sea and we are left with all the whys. Beautiful people don’t necessarily have it all….

@Polyanthus2

Surely if someone is being harrassed they can put their long blonde hair out of sight by putting it up, getting it cut short, wearing baggy t shirts, leave off the make up. It's a bit ''poor little me'. I get that they shouldn't have to but if it's such a hassle do something to change. I had long blonde hair for a number of years and got wolf whistles and comments. They stopped when it was short.

Yes I could have done that, but why should I have to change my hairstyle or dress sense because men were behaving like dickheads around me?

I was very young at the time and it’s only really in retrospect that I realise how damaging this attention was, even though I didn’t feel comfortable with it all I thought one day I might attract a nice boyfriend with my looks. I kinda thought my looks were all I had going for me at the time, like I said, little confidence in myself.

For what it’s worth, if I could go back and talk to myself now I would tell myself to change my appearance drastically but such knowledge only comes with age.

Honestly, it's not great. Constant pestering from men in work, especially directors. They try it all the time at work nights out. It's disgusting. I've had men try grab me on nights out. Women don't tend to like me, until they get to know me and realise I'm just a normal person with flaws. Dating is a nightmare, plenty want you because you look good on their arm, not because of who you are. I've been called a slut if I turn them down! You just get chucked with comments of how skinny you are and all that. I'm a 5ft 3, size 6. I like to keep fit, I don't wear makeup as it's awful on my skin.

I'm 30 now and I'm hoping it stops into my 30s. It would be nice to do my job without some creepy man lingering over.

@Polyanthus2

Surely if someone is being harrassed they can put their long blonde hair out of sight by putting it up, getting it cut short, wearing baggy t shirts, leave off the make up. It's a bit ''poor little me'. I get that they shouldn't have to but if it's such a hassle do something to change. I had long blonde hair for a number of years and got wolf whistles and comments. They stopped when it was short.

Yeah, and they could never leave the house and tie bricks to their nipples and smear shit on their faces and clothes. What's your point?

I was very attractive and I must admit I did use it to my advantage when it suited me but also got a lot of unwanted attention which I didn’t like. I don’t have that problem now as I’m older and plumper, don’t wear make up, don’t style my hair etc. I used to have a round bum and a flat stomach and now I have a flat bum and a round stomach! I could get back to being a ‘looker’ (for my age and with a bit of work) but I don’t really care anymore, I’m actually happier now than I was then and I like being ‘invisible’.

@Dora26

I had a friend who was truly beautiful- she lit up the room when she walked in, and was a really nice person also. 3 weeks ago she walked into the sea and we are left with all the whys. Beautiful people don’t necessarily have it all….

That’s awful😕

@Orangutanteddy

Ask Samantha Brick.

Haha I'd forgotten about her. Silly twat

The comments about men staring are very true.

Perhaps OP you should consider a holiday next time somewhere other than Dubai, whose government arm owns P+O Ferries and sacked over 800 people by Zoom call.

Its a superpower

In my early 20’s I used to be very beautiful. Now I’m fat, old and tired!

Women didn’t like me until they got it know me, most of them thought I was a bitch or a snob etc. Men didn’t care to get to know me or even realise I was a human being, I was just a decoration to them.

Interestingly enough though I always got away with anything I did, so if I made a mistake at work it was excused and forgotten about instantly, people moved out of the way for me, doors opened for me etc etc. Its almost as if people thought pretty can’t do ugly things?

Anyway 13 years later and three kids I’m the very definition of ugly, sometimes I miss my looks but majors of the time I’m content to be invisible.

Would be interested to know how people respond when they get told that they're beautiful.

With men, it tends to just roll of my back, as it comes across as flirting. I would normally just laugh it off and say something like 'I'm sure that you're always telling some women that they're beautiful!'.

However, when a woman says it, it makes me feel quite uncomfortable for some reason. I think it's mainly because I just don't know how you're supposed to respond to that. Somehow, 'thank you' feels like the wrong response.

I wouldn’t say I’m attractive but I get told I am a lot. Mainly older men, all my exs dads, men in the gym, older women. People that I went to high school seem to like to message me to tell me how un ugly I now am.

I didn’t put a picture up on my Skype until a few months ago after I’d actually been in the office and people respond a lot different with me since they’ve seen what I look like.

I do feel people sexualise me a lot, I like to date people for who they are and a lot of the times they don’t really bother to get to know me and it fizzles because they don’t know me.

It can be annoying. When I was younger, I would catch men staring at me, checking me out often etc. I am now 39 with 3 kids, tired, dont put makeup etc. So I do not get men checking me out much like before. But yesterday I wore this headband on that I guess makes me more attractive lol, because I found once again several men checking me out, looking at me etc. If I wear makeup and make an effort, I still get men looking. But normally I wear no makeup, gym clothes and put no effort and busy w the kids. I am still slim like before having kids. But I feel each child aged me ten years!

It can be quite annoying when you are young. At least I found it annoying. Some women love the attention. I had a friend who loved getting attention from men. I did not like it. But I do get sad when getting older knowing that looks are fading.

In my younger days I thought I was passable. It turns out I was considered quite pretty.
On one journey I had a half mile walk from a job interview to the railway station and then had to catch a train home.
I was wolf whistled at by some builders, offered a lift by a man, had another car slow and comment's shouted out and one man followed me onto the platform, sat on the bench along from me and left the station when I got on the train.
I thought everyone was observant of their surroundings because things like this being normal. It turned out I was wrong.

I did once see someone crash their car into an island bollard because they were making eye contact with me.

I'm so glad to be a fat, plain middle-aged woman who nobody would like twice at now.

Women stare at you, look you up and down and/or give you dirty looks. Exclude you from their cliques. Talk about you behind your back. Back stab. Discuss your appearance with other women. Get protective of their partners when you're around.

Other beautiful women are nice to you.

Men smile at you, wink at you, stare at you, compliment you, wolf whistle, some get flustered and blush.

Other women see you as a threat and also make a play for your man.

Women scrutinise for flaws in your appearance or personality and discuss them with you or other women.

Women think you are flirting with men, even if you are not, and just sitting or standing chatting, e.g. to a male work colleague.